Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to our next episode of SDYT that a cast. Where values still hold value. We're talking about a few different topics with a few different guests and even some personalities about realistic perspectives.

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So let's cover our next episode. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to SD YT the podcast. I'm Porter. I'm your host, and month of February, we're talking love kindness, impatience, as our core values for the month.

Now in 20 22, if we're talking about the character of character, and how you bring whatever values morals, ethics, your foundation, and upbringing to the table as you grow?

Can think of anybody more appropriate to talk to you than Mr. Above Average himself. Our host, from Survival Dead YT video series discussions from Dublin Jimmy Mullins coming in, and we're gonna talk for a little bit, why?

Good guys don't necessarily finish last. This week, how do you defend yourself? How do you harden yourself? And we'll get into some of that as well. But see, good guys don't necessarily. Always finish less.

First off, I'd like to thank Roman Curzark, for writing your article, about 6 different aspects of Greek love we've been posting through that For now the better part of a few weeks, couldn't have done them without your inspiration, so I appreciate it.

Thank you very much. And if you hear this and you ever wanna jump into an episode, please, Let me know.

Anybody else listening as well? Feel free to send an email, survival dad y t at gmail dot com. Send us a message, Facebook. Instagram, YouTube, Audius, all over the place, feel free to contact us not a problem at all.

And if you wanna get into a episode, If you want to contribute a little bit more towards maybe even an ad for your company, or critiques on an episode and topics you want to hear more about, Topic you wanna hear something about.

Feel free to send a message as well. Now, lastly, for our first time listeners. Thanks for tuning in. I appreciate it. Welcome. Noel continuing listeners, welcome back. With that, and without further ado, folks, I am Porter.

I'm your host, and this is SD YT the podcast. Already folks. Good guys don't always necessarily finish last. It depends on your context. It depends on what you're talking about. Let's bring him in.

Our host at Survival Dead, YT Video series, discussions from Dublin, all the way from somewhere in the vicinity of Ennis Glasgowzkal, Limerick I believe, in Ireland County Claire on the River Ferguson, please give a warm welcome to Mr.

Jimmy Mullen. Ladies and gentlemen. Jimmy, how you doing, man? Partrick Wright, how are you? I'm good. Pretty busy.

Obviously, we've had a lot of awesome guests coming onto the show. We've talked about a lot of cool topics, so I really appreciate you carving some time out of your schedule, so that way we can actually talk about some of these things.

Did you get a chance to look at any of the stuff that we've been posting online or social media, maybe Facebook or Instagram or something?

But there are a few things that I have been paying attention to. I am aware that to February the core values of things you told me about this. This is true. Here's the thing. Late May, every year, there's what's called the Flaid noir.

K? And this is like over about the last Fort to 5 years, the second largest traditional music festival in Ireland, I'm looking forward to it a lot. Why? Do you do you play an instrument?

Do you sing? In a matter of speaking? Yes. I suppose I do. It wasn't always the most popular thing. Are you familiar with spombs? Yeah. Yeah. But Jimmy, you play the spoons? Marjorie, you're off. I'm going to tell you.

You're not the first person to laugh at me about it. I had an opportunity when I was a child. We're sitting at dinner at the family table. Just gotten done being yelled at or playing with my food, I think it was pays or something.

I don't know. That's not important. But the fact of the matter is, I couldn't play with my food at the risk of getting beat again, so I decided to play with my overware, you do play the spoons.

What instruments do you play? I don't. I used to play the drums for a little bit, but never really took off. Well, so you're meant to tell me you don't actually play anything.

Well, I mean, no, I guess I don't. Right then. I remember hearing something about glass houses? Or sinking ships or something. If you're in a glass house, there's other people sinking ships or something like this?

No. That's not that's not how it goes at all. Are you talking about throwing stones? Right? You can throw whatever you want. The point is, you don't have any ground to stand on. You can make fun of my spoons all your like.

Look, Jimmy, I'm not making fun of you. And just because you think it's funny, that gives you the opportunity. Or to write? My importantly, to talk to me about things that you don't know anything about it?

Well, I no. Look, look, you know what? Make good point. First of all, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Part or hurt my feelings in place. I'm in the early thirties right now.

What about you talking about anything? Make sure you think it's gonna hurt my feelings, Jesus. It's so easy to get under your skin partner. Jimmy. Cup yeah. I okay. Alright. Alright. Well, does that make you feel better now?

Actually, Dallas. Yeah. Alright. Well, it's great to have you back, man. I'm glad you're on a show Thanks for coming out. Let's talk a little bit. There's a few key factors that I wanna make sure we discuss.

I've been posted about an article. 6 different aspects of love, or how ancient Greeks describe love and why it's important. Right? We talked about a few last week, and there's a few others now this week Fhelia, Agape, Pragma.

Failure. Partor at best, I think I understand you, but I'm certainly not failing you. That wasn't funny. Jimmy, that wasn't. That was funny. Roger Brown, sometimes you gotta try where you can.

Let me break it down a little bit and we'll get into this affiliate. We're talking about brothers in arms, a deep friendship, sort of a you do anything for anybody, but it's not lust, it's not really sexual, it's just a deep connection.

Right? Oragape, which is a little bit more charity, empathy, selfless.

And then pragma is a little bit more of like a long standing mature, unified couple, been together for a while, in whatever capacity, that kind of love, those types of love.

We're gonna tie those into why goodguys don't necessarily always finish last. What else would be great?

I'll sit back and relax. How do you intend to do this? No, no, that's That's what we're gonna discuss. You and I, actually. Oh, is that right? Oh, well, it would have been nicer if no matter ahead of time. I sent you an email.

Did you did you get? No, poor, I'm kidding. Of course, I got it. That's why I called you back. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Well, let's let's roll into it then. I I appreciate it. Right. Okay. Well, I'll just start then. Yeah. Go go ahead.

Sure. As I've been thinking about this topic, the first thing that really sticks in the back of my head is stereotypes. Right? This topic is in TV shows and movies all over the world for decades, centuries and our storybooks, whatever.

Have talked about the nice guy in the bad boy, right, chasing the girl, and whoever she chooses whatever, Twilight is 1 of my favorite movies, and we're talking I'm sorry, what?

What? I'm sorry. You said Twilightlights 1 of your favorite movies? Look better. I said what I said. Right?

The fact of the matter is, if you look at The point being nurse of Antpire is sort of nice timid soft spoken kind of guy, stability, whatever. Right? And then you've got to Wolf. Little bit more rough around the edges, so to speak.

Alright. A bit more about body type image. This comparison has been all over every single story line. If we're talking at the time. You send attractive quality. So let's let's break this down. We'll frame this a little bit.

Let's talk in terms of short term, and long term, then whatever those terms are is sort of irrelevant, but let's say under 25, over 25, being more mature. Part of you're saying you're more mature than or or less mature than.

Look. The point is if we break it up this way, It's a little bit easier to identify some of these things. If we say these are the stereotypes, what are some reasons then? Some reasons why somebody might be nice.

Maybe self validation. Right? You'd be nice to people, other people are nice to you, makes you feel good, lets you know you're doing the right thing, making the right decisions. Go and rule. Right? This is what you grew up learning.

You're nice to other people. People will be nice to you. It's just being courteous. Maybe it's showing appreciation and gratitude. Maybe it's good morals and a sound solid upbringing. I don't know, it could be any of these reasons.

But couldn't the reason also be? You just want to have sex and get light? Jimmy. Yes. Yes. Of course, it could, but just because you want to sleep with somebody, doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna be nice to get their attention.

No, of course not. However, it could be a motivator and a reason why you're trying to be nice. Normally, you're not nice, however, now you're trying to be nice, because you think it might be more appealing to this particular individual.

We're gonna look at it from that perspective, then yeah, I guess it applies too. Sure. Like last week, we were talking about sex and shallow things and lust and eros.

These types of contexts and constructs of love, a bit more immature, I consider this like stability versus instability. Right? Unstable decisions, longevity, commitment, whatever, it's unstable.

Dedication is not really there, because you don't know what you want as a person. Now, you're still young, you're still developing, you're still experimenting, experiencing all sorts of things.

Right. It's kind of like being excited by us being calm then as well, because it's more exciting to do things when you're younger.

But as you get older, then things tend to be a bit more calmer or maybe even more boring to a point right. It's not quite as exciting or intense enticing as it might be Right?

It's not going out, getting an adrenaline rush, or going to a party, any of these types of things where it involves a crowd of people, everybody's out having a good time.

And I think that's sort of the draw, the bad boy image, ingender doesn't really matter here, but the bad boy image, a bit more maybe loud or rude or abrasive, or you want attention.

Right? You crave satisfaction from other people or the other person that's pretty or handsome whatever and popular and hangs out with you, and you become popular, and treat other people like you take them for granted maybe.

Right? Like that, all encapsulating image, doesn't necessarily change as you get older, it just becomes a bit more subdued, but if that's how we're qualifying this bad boy image, I guess, How do you qualify the NICE Guy image then?

The NICE Sky image? Well, it's like we've talked about before, people enter a bit more courteous, respectful, People let her know, sir, hold her door open for you, perhaps, you know, pay for your meal, whatever.

Shake your hand, look in the eye, sort of honest, standard people with some sort of moral dependency as well. Okay. Yeah. If that's the case, why is it a bad thing? Oh, it's not a bad thing. It's just not a popular thing.

See, generally, what's popular is not what's difficult, because more people would tend towards some sort of pleasure, some sort of painless type that does not require struggle and growth, requires social skills, requires ease and pleasure and things to this effect.

So generally speaking, it's not something that's popular as well, which makes it more difficult. Course, because less people are gonna be attracted to it generally speaking. Right.

But once you start taking about it from that perspective, how do you qualified a shorter term, you're gonna be rude, you're gonna be quite abrasive to somebody or to somebody, and then all of a sudden, you're, say, 25 with the same friends, no friends, job outlooks are a bit bleak.

The point of being is not as well dependable as it could be or stable as it could be. Sure. So if we're talking about them in a longer term, more mature type, approach to decision making, I guess.

We're looking at this more stable route, respect, and dependability, and showing loyalty or being caring or appreciation and gratitude like we talked about before for people as people, not people as objects.

Right? It goes a bit deeper, and this is a generalization obviously, but before we jump further, let's take a quick break.

Everybody. This is Porter with SD YT the podcast. When we're talking about that in time with your family and even remembering loved ones, maybe when you can't be there.

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I'm Porter. I'm your host. We're talking why good guys don't necessarily always finish last. With Our survival at YIT video series host of discussions from Dublin, Jimmy Mullen. Jimmy, how you doing, man?

Welcome back. Partner, welcome back to you Thanks for having me again. I can't say this enough. I'm excited to be here. I'm happy to be here and have this conversation with you, but you don't need to continually introduce me.

As the video series host of the audio. Just I can be a person as well. It's okay. Doesn't have to be so formal, you can relax a bit. Jimmy, I I appreciate it, man. I'm I'm just trying to make this professional.

I'm trying to keep this, you know, professional. Alright, I see. Enter telemeter professionals don't talk to each other by first name, or they always have formal titles, breaker of dragons, and chains, and things.

No. It's just Okay. Alright. Fine. Jimmy, welcome back. Port, you can be a bit more formal about it as well.

Right? It's it's it's an opportunity for us to be talking in a public setting like this, nonetheless. There's no need to make it so informal. Jimmy, I don't know what you want me to do. Partor, I'm just digging under your skin, man.

Just relax. Be alright. Get yourself a pint, sit back, or talk for a bit. Oh, man. I love you dude. Jimmy, I swear, if I could figure out what it is you were gonna say before you conversation would be a lot smoother.

Anyway, alright, let's talk about this. We talked about short term, we talked about long term, part time, we talked about all these things, right, we talked about some of this last week, heard on your show as well.

All of these factors, when you're talking about love, other people, charity, dependability on other people, These are not sex equality.

These are not attractive qualities. These are not qualities you would find in a lustful need before or like you're 25, or maybe even until you're ready to settle down whatever ages might be.

Right? If you're looking for attention, attraction, enticement, adrenaline, these types of factors and variables, it's a bit easier. And you're younger because you don't have as many responsibilities either.

As you start to grow and increase more responsibilities, things have to toned down a bit because you reprioritize your life, and what you want to be able to accomplish the longer and the depth of your vision.

Right? Sure. Yeah. Of course. But what does it have to do with good guys finishing last or not necessarily finishing last get into that, relax.

Here's what I'm saying. Whenever that shift happens, it's much easier. To focus on those things, and being this bad boy image, being this jokester, being this whatever, drops in a priority list, because it doesn't help anything.

You don't get more friends. You don't get further in life. You don't get better ideas. You don't surround yourself with like minded people. You don't build your own self worth, for example.

None of these things occur, because what you're focused on at a time. It's how you treat people having a good time. Not too short of the expression, but driving fast, taking names, type things.

So what are you getting at? Right. Well, it's like we talked about in the stereotypes in the beginning. See, because if you're in a nice guy at school talking to the girls, but you don't necessarily play the sports.

Right? You're the math kid You ring the books, whatever. But the bad boy is the jock he's playing the sports. He's doing whatever he's gonna do at school.

Well, for whatever reason, he's more attractive because he's exuding more confident or knows his own self worth, of course. Yeah. But if you're not that guy and you pretend to be, it's probably not gonna go well.

Right, overall, in the long run. Let's just be honest. I am being an honest partner. I'd appreciate you not interrupting my turn this off. Now I gotta try to get it back.

Jimmy, look, man, I'm part of robotics, it's a joke. Look, here's the thing. Somewhere in the middle, there's a difference between focusing on you, yourself, what people think about you, and then focus on your goals and your vision.

And once this shift changes, you have more time to yourself. Part of our good? You see, people that are overly focused on an image, that maybe isn't genuine, maybe it is to a degree, but let's say it's not, for the sake of comparison.

Have to cultivate that. Into something, for the sake of being popular, fitting in, or validation, or any number of other things, which there's nothing wrong with them. It's just part of growing up.

And there's a shift, or maybe there was never a shift. You started out as the nice person, complimenting somebody, showing them that they have value, you, holding a door open for somebody, being nice to somebody.

Alright? Being a good dude. Again, whatever your gender is is irrelevant, but as expressions go, He's a nice guy. And that's it. That's what people have to say about you. You're that person. Right? So what? Who cares?

Because while that's happening, and maybe you're missing the popularity train, you have 2 options. Do you get depressed, that you're not invited to parties that you get rejected based on your invitations or advances or whatever.

That you don't have as many friends as other people, the other option is, so what? As long as you understand, that maybe it's because you're not involved in what is popular, the Fends, the Fads, the trends, whatever.

And so you don't have all the same friends, because everybody has different tastes and opinions and viewpoints, and yours don't match.

We'll then take that as an opportunity. To identify what it is that you like, what you prefer, what is your perspective, what are your values.

Right? What are your passions? What are your hobbies? You don't have to know what you wanna do for 80 years of your life, or 40 years of your life, in your late teens, in your early twenties, I mean, in your early thirties.

You don't have to know what you wanna do, but you have to start identifying who you are as person, and who you want to become based on influences you surround yourself with.

That's how you focus on your character, Right? It's an introspection like that that turns your hobbies into careers.

That makes things more fulfilling as you pursue your passions, and you can focus on self development. Because you're not as preoccupied with fitting in, you don't have to. It doesn't matter.

Out of, I don't know, 350 some million people in the United States right now. 7000000000, give or take, some zeros here or there, people in the world right now, not all of them have social media, and they're doing just fine.

You're not in the in crowd. You're not keeping up with the Jefferson. What does that matter? Are you better than you were yesterday? Did you learn something new? Is your character stronger, more developed?

Let me ask you this, Jimmy. Why do you consider yourself Mister above average. Portrait's mindset. See, I look at my average, I look at my baseline, whatever it is on any given day, take it in aggregate, I said, okay, that's my average.

In order to make a better situation better for myself, in my head, at least, give myself more vision, greater depth, I look at myself as mister above average, I don't care what it is for anybody else, But for me, it's above my average every day.

It's a mindset and division. I like that. And that's where it starts. Right? Like, you can be the nice guy. It doesn't matter. And you go on less dates. You have less friends. You go to less parties.

So what? It may seem like the world's ending because we're social social creatures. But it's not. It will be okay, and it's normal to not fit in sometimes. It's alright. It's okay, to focus on charity and be the nice guy, for example.

It's okay to build a deeper friendship with 1 or 2 people instead of a bunch of people, whether it's deep or shallow, it doesn't matter. Or maybe it's just you with yourself and being okay with that sort of self love as well.

And it's through those types of steps, and those types of advancements that you build what we are referring to as pragma. A long standing, more mature, unified type relationship with somebody.

Who that person is is irrelevant. The fact is you don't generally have the ability to build that kind of a relationship. If you don't understand your own self worth, your own value based on what you have to bring to the world.

It makes it very difficult, to align yourself with somebody else when you don't know what you have to offer, because you're starting a relationship from instability.

How can somebody lean on you when you're not stable and confident in what you have to offer already?

It makes it difficult. Not impossible, but it does make it difficult. Learning to make peace with any semblance or frequency of rejection by being the nice guy.

You don't have to be the biggest, fastest, strongest, because there's always gonna be bigger, stronger, faster. So it doesn't matter. Body builders, olympians, athletes of all kinds sizes and types.

Only do that for maybe 20 years at most. Generally, it's because you're good, and in 1 day you're not, and what do you have? Jofies, belts, certificates, whatever, For what?

It's like Mike Tyson said, all these belts, all these things, they don't mean anything now. They did then, but now what's important is family. Right? That's exactly the difference. Your priorities shift.

But just because you're the nice guy doesn't necessarily mean you finish last. It doesn't necessarily mean you fell behind either. Sometimes, because you're behind the packets, because you're climbing to a higher road.

Just because you're the nice guy doesn't mean that you have to stay the nice guy just because you're the bad boy or whatever you wanna call it doesn't mean you have to stay that way.

It's a sliding scale, back and forth almost every day, but the point is, It's okay to be rejected because you're too nice, or not outgoing enough.

It's okay to be turned down. Because you're focusing on your passions, which maybe aren't the popular ones, like playing spoons.

Right? It's okay, to be involved with yourself to identify who you are and what you want to do or who you want to be, how you want to develop your character, that does not mean avoid being social.

It's just okay if you're not as social as everyone else. It's important to learn how to communicate too because as we've been discussing throughout our video series and this podcast, Survival takes communication.

You can't do it alone. Folks, it's still combining resources and perspectives, values, and upbringings, in order to conquer whatever demons you've gotta sort through in your head, be a better you in the future.

So with that, Jimmy, I I appreciate you dropping in. I know this was a quick run down. Well, I'd love to have you back back on some other time and and get up some more DFT videos.

That'd be fantastic. So I just wanna say thank you for dropping him, and I know this was a little quick, but I still appreciate you nonetheless.

Part tip was a great phone. I I don't mind it in the least. As long as I've got your time and the opportunity that you provide, what are you willing to talk about with you? Alright. Well, folks with that, I appreciate you stopping by.

This rounds out our February core values of love kindness and patience. We rolling into March where we're talking growth confidence and compassion. So for now, I'm Porter. I'm your host.