Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to our next episode of SDYT that a cast.

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I'm really glad you guys stopped by. So let's cover our next episode. I'm Porter. I'm your host. And on today's episode, we're going to talk about ownership of your mentality.

As is episode 7, so first off, let me say if you're a new listener to the bog cast. Welcome, and if you're a continuing listener to the podcast, welcome back.

We've made it through a collective now, so our 6 episodes. We've had some guests and some personalities on the show, and I'd like to take a minute real quick and just thank them as well.

Now, ownership of your mentality is kind of a loaded subject. And to a certain degree, it might get a little bit deep, philosophically speaking here in this episode as well.

However, I have a few friends that I think will help lighten the load a little bit, and we'll talk about topics that'll be pretty interesting.

Now if you hear the truck in the background, doing things mobile today, and we're talking about this topic while we're on the road.

But some of the best conversations usually go that way at least, they normally do for me. Right. Hello, ladies. Jonesy's here.

Jonesy. Welcome back. Was gonna give you a second to get the spotlight all to yourself, but no, it's alright, Porter. I'll just bring it over right now. Give me an opportunity to say hello, say to my boy, I hope he's listening.

And Daddy's on the road again, mate. So we'll have to talk more when I get home. But for the time being, just wanna say hello. Really excited to be back on the podcast. Jones, I appreciate it in.

Really excited to have you back. I think it's gonna be a good time. It's a fun topic too. There's all sorts of things that we can tie into. So it's gonna be pretty cool. Hey. Well, there are a few things that I'd like to admit as well.

Possibly even to get in on this topic. Will, again, everybody was going to have their moment to shine. Don't worry. I didn't forget about you men, but I do appreciate you being able to come out an episode as well.

Well, without further ado, let's jump in whether you're on Google Podcast, Now Apple Podcast, Anchor or Spotify let's roll right in and see what the cost is for ownership of your mentality.

Alright. We were just talking over the break about how this is such a heavy sub we should probably narrow it down a little bit.

When we're talking about mentality, talking about perspective and how you see the world, but taking ownership of that, making a conscious effort to try to change how you view a certain situation.

Generally, how you view the world, but I what we've relegated to is how you view a certain situation. So let's see. Jonesie, I you brought up a pretty cool example, and we'll just use that to stick to as a baseline.

If you don't mind, you want to jump in on this and walk us through it. Right? Sure. So when we're talking about basically the men your mentality and and ownership of it, in certain equations.

I think the best really opportunity for something like that, it fits sort of all angles, all classes, agendas, ages, schools, whatever, is bullying. Right?

Now this could be cyberbullying, this could be physical bullying, could be I don't know chicken bullion. But okay. But right. So I'm I'm just I'm just job and right, what I mean is that this could be any kind of bullion that applies.

The fact is it's very easy to take bullying personally. Right? So there's all sorts of organizations. Like I remember a friend of mine telling me how when he was in the I think it was first Irma regiment. So not entirely sure now.

But he had mentioned to me that basically as you go through certain situations, it's relatively easy to identify harassment or bullying or hazing in the military, away from sort of standard cultures or even social circles.

Right? Okay. Let me let me just back up for a second. When you talk about bullying or hazing or harassment, can can we just define those real quick and we'll we'll sort of tie them together? Right, Schul, problem.

Now I'm not a professional, I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but as I understand the differences, I suppose, I don't know, which you might consider equal opportunity, representative of something, is I understand the differences all 3 have to have some sort of an impact on work or which you might consider workplace, duties and schedules.

Right? Whatever the baseline is, has it actually caused some sort of an issue? Now, bullying, for example, in a general sense.

Man, I'm under a bridge right now. I don't know if you can hear that as well. But anyway, bullying in a specific sense is basically man, this is wild right now. Can you hear this? This is I'm sorry.

I thought was talking loud enough. I don't know. It might be yelling at this point. No. No. Jones, we hear you, man. Yeah. I'm I'm actually in of some sort of a storm rolling in, I think, right now too, sounds kind of like thunder.

So I know what you're getting into, but I've got rough idea. Yeah. How loud you're gonna need to talk. But no. No. We we got you. We're with you.

Please continue. Right. Okay. So bullying is by basically, if you consider ostracizing, cutting somebody off from a group, making fun of somebody to the point where there's physical psychological trauma long term, short term, whatever.

It could also be that there's like a willful disregard a will for neglect for that other individual's well-being. Right? But on a repetitive basis, after they've told you to stop.

That's basically bullying in a nutshell. Right? More psychological than anything, but There can be physical bullying as well for the sake of this constraint conversation. Let's just say psychological for the time there.

Now what's what's good about out psychological impacts of bullying, is those are things that you as what would you call them bully e, can control to a certain degree. See, once you give somebody power over your mind, over your thoughts.

The ability to manipulate your habits of thought, I think I had you mention on a video a transporter was basically like you've lost. They have the control. Right? Yeah. I under thing that Jones actually pretty well.

And you're right. We did just talk about habits of thought in in 1 of our more recent videos on on survival dad y t, but Let me let me ask you this. If you have and and it will, we'll we'll get to you in just a second.

But Jonesie, if you have psychological trauma of some sort, let's just say as a result of bullying get into harassment, some other things. How is that in your control? Right?

Especially as kids. You don't know how to how to handle that or or deal with that? No, you don't. See, the thing of it is, as a kid is initially, it takes some sort of experience and exposure to build up a resilience in a tolerance.

Now, the more important part in my opinion comes in when the parents, the friends, the social circle that that individual belongs to has to become the support network to help guide a mentor at tempo, if you will.

The resilience, right like the mask is steel. You just fold it in it and deal with damage, except that there's some semblance of sacrifice. But you guide and you mental had a managing co it.

In that in that regard, the bully even is better able, more likely as they grow and become older and experienced, tend deal with psychological impacts of trauma and process those things.

I see. I see. Okay. Will, is there that you wanna sort of chime in on this topic, building resiliency for the psychological impacts of of bullying in this case?

Hey. Well, there's quite a few things that I think I could talk about concerning, like, bullying in general. But when you The only real way to become a bit tougher, if you will, mentally, especially, is to go through experience.

Somebody can't tell it to you. Somebody can't continue to show you pictures and movies and things. This type of resiliency, mostly mental at that point, is solely and expressly derived from personal experience it has to.

And then you can speak to it. You can talk from it, but unfortunately, it's a necessary evil life, I think. There has to be some sort of psychological trauma to recover from and build it as an experience.

Okay. Well, so for some of our listeners, while we're talking about the importance and sort of the cost of the ownership of your own mentality. And we're using bullying as a baseline here. I've heard you both mention trauma.

Let's clarify this for a second. We're using trauma or encouraging trauma of any kind, but we're not using trauma as a reference to suggest you know, to the point where you can't communicate or integrate into society.

Everybody is a little bit damaged. Right? And there's a little bit of trauma mental specifically in everybody.

But how did we overcome it? Right? It could be as simple as you went to bed hungry, conceptually, 1 night when you were a kid or, you know, you took a cold shower because there was no hot water in a hot water tank.

It it takes an impact. It's minor in comparison to some sort of actual physical abuse or PTSD or just ridicule from your peers for decades. Right? There's there's varying degrees of mental trauma.

So what we're referencing here, again, for the of our listeners. What we're referencing here is a general sense of trauma. Necessarily always superficial, especially when it comes to bullying in a mental sense.

Psychological trauma that's either short term and acute or longer term or chronic and lasting, but to where you're still able to integrate of society and not quite to the point where it turns into, say, manic depression, for example.

Okay? And if we have any psych psychiatrists or psychologists, you know, clinicians or otherwise who want to chime in. Please feel free to send an email, survival dad y t at gmail dot com.

I'll be happy to take your messages, send up a comment on Facebook or Instagram, and we'll bring up your points on a future up ode of SDYT, the podcast. For the time being, Will, Josie, let me get back to you guys real quick.

So it sounds like we're all basically on the same page that in order to deal with bullying mentally how you think about things in your head, you have to learn to roll it, but you have to have other people that you trust help guide your thought process to build that foundation, and then you sort of customize your own style for how to maintain mental resilience against bullying.

Is that am I am I basically right track? Yeah. I think you outboarded. Right? Yeah.

Definitely. It sounds pretty accurate. Yeah? Cool. So Now then let's let's move past that a little bit. We're still talking about bullying as our sort of overarching theme, I guess. To tie these concepts together and keep us on track.

But, Jones, you mentioned harassment as well when you're talking about your your buddy in the in the I assume Australian Defense Force? Yeah. Right. I did. I mentioned bullying initially, then I talked about harassment.

Just saying that it's easier to identify. Compared to, like, say, the regular workforce. Right? Now you may have a few different types. Generally speaking, let's say, like, sexual harassment.

Now this isn't all abuse. This isn't battery. We're not going into that right now, although it could also have psychologically traumatic effects. What we are talking about is hands don't get laid on somebody.

You call somebody names. You make vulgar jokes, references to, you know, tell you or whatever that is unwarranted, uninvited, and things people don't request to continue during the course of say a conversation or whatever.

Right? That's more sexual harassment. So then, harassment in general does not have to be always sexual in nature. Right? Horassment could just be unwanted attention. It could just be humiliating to a certain degree, attention.

The point being if somebody says stop, no, most definitely means no. So then there you are. That's why it becomes harassment. Okay? Essentially, There's a there's a term. Another blog mine uses. He's on the police force.

Right? So we talk about All sorts of things. I've got experience in my career as well. Teach and surveillance, matter of fact, There's a term that we use, basically, where you start harassing somebody as a verb though.

Right, not a like an adjective or something is is what we've been discussing. But as an adjective, that type of harassment just basically means that you stay on top of somebody to the point where it's almost obnoxious.

Right? They may not want you continue, they may not have expressly said, discontinue cease and desist. However, it's pretty apparent they do not want you to continue what you're doing, non verbally even.

Okay. So that's harassment. Right? That's what we're going to use then for our for our overarching definition of harassment here. But I'm curious, how does that differ from bullying then?

Hey. Well, I can answer that. Basically, the Harousman that Jones is talking about is is more like things that are, I don't know, unwanted or like causing a problem to the baseline.

Right? But bullying has a different sort of intention. Right? Like there is no reason for it. Like for example, right now COVID is still happening. Right? So Here here here is a bit of a of a story.

Right? So I have a little boy as well. And so my son was on the playground primary school the other day. While he was there, he was wearing a mask, out on the playground, playing with his friends.

Right? A friend of his, not rightly a good friend, but he says, a friend of his, grab this mask out on the grain, pulled it off of his face, and then what he did, threw it on the ground, Anyway.

Now, that's crazy. See, that's it's a different level.

That I don't consider harassment. I I consider that more to be bullying, especially in which a primary school. Right? Especially in more of a primary school. It's it sounds like bullying. Like, on 1 hand, it's kids being kids.

Right? But there's a difference. You know, you you give somebody a nugget where you rub your your knuckles on the top of their head or something or or mess up their hair, like, yeah, to some degree, it's kids being kids.

But there's line, I think, when you get into somebody's personal space, and you take things off of their face. 1 thing to knock somebody's glasses off when you're playing 4 Square or heads up 7 up or, you know, playground games?

Okay. Sure. If you're playing tag and you grab somebody's glasses or something by mistake or whatever and knock them off the rate, that happens.

But if you walk up to somebody, grab something, let's say glasses or a mask off their face, whatever you do with it after, almost doesn't matter unless what you're doing is wiping dirt off of it and giving it back.

But at that point, I think it becomes malicious and then it becomes bullying. I I tend to have a sort of, I guess deep rooted dislike for bullying in general.

But I I'm sorry. I I didn't mean to I didn't mean to cut you off, Will. Okay. Let's let's let's get back to it. You were you were talking about the difference between bullying and harassment.

Alright. No. I think basically the same thing. Right? Because once there's some sort of malicious intent, I think that's about when you move from harassment, Napoleon, and I agree with you. Pardon for sure. Right.

Right. Well, I could hear you. Okay. Cool. Well then for the sake of time I suppose, let's just stick to that. That's how we're defining than the difference between bullying and harassment. So either way, these things can take a toll.

Mentally, on somebody, especially if it's repetitive, especially on kids, or just adults that haven't been exposed to it. It's difficult to build a tolerance to things when it's your first time no matter what it is.

And the same philosophy conceptually applies to bullying. Right? And so you have decisions to make. Right? You definitely do. Like it is my thing.

I told my boy if he if he gets into some sort of like, I don't know, miss habit school. Then I said alright, son, here's the thing. If somebody hits you, you hit them back. Right? Well, I think that's the right way guy.

I don't agree with you though. See, because sometimes if somebody hits you it's an accident, or if they bump you or whatever, and if you turn around and punch them in the face, now you're at fault.

It's no ride, it's self defense. Somebody pushed you. It's not always you you got to take into account the intention. Especially if you're kids or or adults, but especially as kids. Right? If you're playing around or whatever.

Yeah. I don't I don't know if I agree with that. Broadwell, you don't have to. It's fine. But you have to stand your ground. No, I agree with that. You do. It's important no matter your age. To stand your ground.

For sure, if somebody's giving you a hard time and telling jokes or pranks or whatever, and you can laugh it off, that's okay. But if you become the only 1 who's being pranked, that's sort of borderline harassment in my opinion.

And if you say stop and nothing stops in fact, maybe it gets worse, then it becomes bullying. I think. I look at it sort of like that continuum.

So yeah. At that point, You have to handle it and stand your ground or it continues. Now there's a few options to standing your ground at that point. But you do have options, I guess, is the important piece here.

Right? Oh, yeah. I agree, you do. As long as you give yourself options, you don't always have to resort to physical violence? But in some sorts, certain self defense cases sign if you're listening.

In some sort certain self defense cases? Physical reactions are necessary. Alright. Yeah, I agree with that. Sure. But we are talking about ownership of your mentality.

Right? And and some of those costs. So some sacrifice is not necessarily physical violence. So while that is an important topic, we can visit later for sure on a different episode, especially.

Let's let's stick to this mental aspect for Alright. Alright. You have to make a conscious decision. Do you punch that bloke in the face or not? Yeah. Sure. Sure. That yeah. Alright.

That involves a little bit of mental battling, I suppose, a little restraint for sure. But but more what I mean is not the outcome necessarily of your decision, but the self control to patients the understanding what your options are.

Now here's the thing. In order to build this kind of resilience, you definitely have to have some options given to yourself like permission to fail.

Right? It's it's it's just as important to say you need to have like The respecting your own ignorance and accounting for your own limitations. What do you mean exactly? I'm sorry. I I was right there with you and then you I'm not now.

Sorry. Can can you explain that about your limitations and and ignorance? Hey. So the understand of your own limitations. Basically means like, if that were a problem that you to try to solve, but you like the experience.

You like the know how, maybe you never encountered it before. Account for your own ignorance. Don't try to like, hastily get into some sort of situation.

Okay. But you said that's limitations. Right? So I don't understand the ignorance piece ID, Porter. I'm gonna jump in real quick, Will. Nobody can seem to get through to you. It must be static or something not a big deal.

But the the thing of it is, right, You have to understand. If you're outclassed, that it is what it is. Everybody has a place. That's fine. But If physicality is not really in your wheelhouse, don't try it.

Right? On the other hand, if that's all that's in your wheelhouse, broaden your horizons. Okay? You know the gorilla. Now, accounting for the fact, that that may not be the time and place to address it.

That may not be the reason somebody's bullying you, harassing you, whatever. That may not even be the in end of outcome. They don't even realize how what they're doing is coming across.

At that point, accounting for say, ignorance in yourself to understand that your response is now based on your interpretation, subjective that this individual intends to bully you and makes fun of you or whatever.

If you are able to do that, it may also lend you to realize that maybe that wasn't the intention and you are then tending to overreact.

I get it. I get it. Gents, let's take a quick break on that note and we'll get back to overreaction. Ownership of your mentality, but we're talking about bullying and a few other topics.

Here with our survival dad y t host of Walkabout, that's Jonesie, and our survival dad y t host of Scott scotch stories that's Will. Guys, I appreciate your time. Stay on the line. We'll be back in just a few minutes.

After we take a quick commercial. Thanks, guys. Hey, everybody. This porter with SD YT the podcast. When we're talking about spending time with your family and even remembering loved ones, maybe when you can't be there.

I'd like to pass to Mike for a second over to my buddy, Dax. He's gonna talk about the B and The Bear creations. That's BEE and The B EAR, B and The Bear creations.

Text? Hey, everyone. It's Stack's here. I just wanted to take a moment and give a shout out to my wife, Julie. She is artists of sorts, but she has a Facebook page called the b and the Bear creations.

And what that page is for is basically if you wanted do a specialized item like a tumbler or a hat or a vinyl or a decal or a shirt you can go there, you can ask some questions, look through the wares, but then give a DM and try to sort it out.

And then work adjust pricing, but if you're interested something like that, go ahead, like her page.

It's the b and the bear creations on Facebook. So Go enjoy it. Alright. SDYT listeners. Welcome back. To our seventh episode where we're talking ownership of your mentality.

I've got my buddies here, Jonesie, and will. And we're talking about specifically, I guess, using bullying as a way to better sort of identify what we're discussing and what we're talking about ownership of your mentality.

So this is responsive to certain stimuli in the environment as it applies to somebody's life, and understanding that there are ways to cope and process and encourage resiliency, mental resiliency in order to deal with those things.

Now in talking about bullying, over the break, especially, will, you had mentioned what I think is a pretty poignant story. So let's let's talk about it.

You mentioned you were in what was it? High school, I think you said? Had 8? 8. So secondary skill, I was We lad, but small in stature as well. I didn't have a whole lot going for me. In fact, I had braces on my teeth.

My hair was parted. It was short. Right? Quite right picking out, say, for anybody that might be in the school. Now there happened to be 1 quite good at sports, much taller, bigger, stronger than I was as well.

Once that happened and he realized that I existed really, I started to understand that I was more I suppose less a student and more pray in the grass. Right?

I could see him from across the hall by the lockers there. He would stare. He would smirk. He would talk to friends, he would laugh as I would walk by. I was never quite sure why. Until 1 day, I got stuck the hallway in between classes.

Everybody is I remember it except for 1 for him that I was discussing things with, had vacated the whole way. I had my back to the long way down My friend looked over my shoulder. I turned to look back as well.

The only other person in the whole for that particular afternoon was his bully. I laid his name out of this, but I was absolutely terrified. This was the first time that I had really into any sort of physical contact with him.

See, the thing was when I a smaller lot. My parents decided that, do I in part to my short stature, I needed to practice self defense a bit more, so I did.

However, in this killer moment, despite knowing that there were things that at least as a fantasy that I could do to this individual, Within the span of a few seconds, I began to realize there was nothing I could do to this individual.

He was taller. He was stronger.

He was sturdier. Right? More of a battle battle chest you might see. Sports player popular, pretty stereotypical. But the point being, friend stood there as well. I remember looking at him and I remember thinking in my head.

Alright. I'm gonna count to 3. I'm gonna weave my arms in between his, which at this point I have my toes on the ground, maybe lifting up a it because his hands were around my neck.

I thought pretty clearly, as I looked into his eyes that there was nothing but darkness. I saw him smirk, I remember the corner of my eye looking at my friend next to me on my left.

He laughed for a second, think mostly out of fear and shock. He said something about I heard purple. That's the last thing I remember. Wow. Wow. Okay. Well, I'm sorry that had to happen to you.

Ryan me to. Like I said before, there had been a good opportunity to punch him right in the kisser. Yeah. Jonesie, it would have been, but he said he couldn't focus. Right? Nothing I could do. So then, what are options.

Right? In the in the moment, obviously not many. But but what happened? I went down Not entirely sure how long it took. They were as a teacher, I think. She stuck her hair out the door when I hit the wall fell over.

My friend said that I had fallen, tripped over my feet. The bully boy, he said, alright. Well, and walk away. He didn't even help me up. He just laughed. He went back to class.

She said, hey, you boys get to class. We popped ways we went to class. I don't remember the details much now, but I think he got expelled, infringing in my personal space and whatnot. I actually got suspended, I believe.

Had to wait a few days to go back to school. My friend, nothing nothing happened to him. And then From that point on, I don't remember seeing too much of him, but I remember I was scared of what I thought he was.

His face, his image. His ability to have that kind of control over me physically, mentally, emotionally, it made me sick too.

It made me nervous, it made me angry, it made me frustrated. With myself, the skill sets I thought I had the capabilities I had I doubted everything about myself at least in my head.

Wasn't about to tell anybody about it though. I imagine not. It makes things difficult sometimes. I think once you either get into your head, or somebody else does or an experience does, that to a certain degree is traumatic.

In that case, obviously, it sounds physical as well. But but mentally, it sounds pretty traumatic. And so then I mean, did you ever get over it or or how did you how did you get through that mentally? How did you get past that?

It took time throughout my life to be able to try and do that. Lots of introspection, long on the beach, you might say. But I think as time went on, I began to realize that the only reason I had seen them in years.

I hadn't seen them in decades maybe, but the the only thing that that began to, like, creep into my mind was that he had this power over me because I had given it to him.

I hadn't seen him. He hadn't found his way into my head. He hasn't said anything that might otherwise give him the ability to can throw all my thoughts, I gave that to him.

Once I realized that you're only part and that had the power to change what was in my head was myself and to change the outcome of a situation that was entirely created in my head as a result of an actual real world situation.

I decided that I'd been in there to change the circumstances in my head.

What does that mean exactly you? It means a little bit more than it might sound, and it took a lot more time than you might think. It wasn't as simple as change my mind and saying, oh, no problem.

I won't think any differently now. Or I will think differently for there is in my life. It took time and it took work. Did you see a therapist? Or what what do you mean? What did you therapists, no. There wasn't a reason for me to.

See, what's how is that on my own mostly? I was determined to find a way and a cause. I realized the cause was I thought he was bigger and I felt inferior. And that's what made me scared because I panicked and I froze.

So I started focusing a bit more on if things were to take place in any form of action again, where I felt like things were taken over my life, or my body or making me freeze.

Second guess my own capabilities, that it was probably my lack of self confidence because I felt unprepared. But I hesitated because I doubted what I was able to do or how to control the outcome of sit.

Because there was a part of me that said if I'd do anything to this man, this boy, really. I'd kill him I apologize for some of your listeners to hear that, but that's where my thought was.

Right? I was so factory with superheroes and the ability to defend yourself with super powers, I think, that I had blown it all way out of any sort of OTerson.

So I didn't do it. And you think some combination between those 2 things What made you hesitate? Right.

Between that and fair, uncertainty, I think, and fair. I lack the confidence to control my abilities, my emotions, my thought process. And I think even a part of me never expected to need to. So I was just unprepared from every aspect.

Okay. Alright. I'm starting to catch on. So once you identify fight in your case that you froze and hesitated because you were unprepared, and that's what made you scared and you second guessed and and hesitated before you reacted.

What was next? How did you how did you move past that?

I realized that I needed to take ownership my decision and gave myself permission to feel we permission to be vulnerable. I had to give myself sort of a reality check and account for my own ignorance. I thought too highly of myself.

And didn't account for the fact that I was no superhero. I did not have super powers and I was fallible you might see. Falleable, bait, fallible. See, because in a powerful situation I would have broken his grip.

I would have shot him with some sort of like energy blast or something. Moved on with life. Disappeared flowing through the through the ceiling or the roof or whatever and disappeared.

And in my head, to some agree or another, maybe I thought it was possible in my life and in reality, or what it came to be, it was not possible.

Followable. I see. Okay. So you identified that you weren't perfect, you were able to identify your capabilities, you you played to your strengths, you I'd say.

And and I think there's something to be said for understanding and accepting that okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to be vulnerable.

Because then you're better able once you recognize those things to improve on them, or at the very least make peace with them.

Right? So if somebody like you said, pulls a mask off your face on the plague around or bullies you at school, or you're in a verbally abusive relationship, or not, but maybe even physically abusive.

To understand that you have a way out, that somebody only has as much power over you as you allow them to have.

Sounds like it counts for quite a bit. I mean, you you said you basically worked through this on your own. No way, There's no way it was entirely on his own. Right? She had friends or some sort of safety net work.

Maybe even family or therapist or a dog. Do you have a dog? Will? Do you have a dog you could talk to maybe? A dog? No. How did I have a dog? Was in the secondary school. I did have a friend I could talk to.

Was he that reliable? No. I don't think so. But he was there he was there in the moment though. So we at least had that in common. We use that to talk through it, make jokes about it, make light about it.

And as I got older, I began to realize that even people that weren't there could empathize, could understand, could help me rationalize, but on a position of weakness or a position of inferiority as it became in my head that it's okay to get through, it's okay to experience.

It doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn't make you less of a man either. It just means in that moment, you want prepared.

Once I owned up to that decision and that deficiency, as I understood it. I chose to never let it happen again. At least to what was in the extent of my control. So does that mean you think you're prepared for everything?

Propet more. I think what that means is I think for whatever circumstances I might get myself into that I am in place in peace in my head that I am as prepared in any present moment as I be for any future circumstance.

I'll never actually know if I am until it happens. And then I'll identify whether I was or not after the fact. But where I sit right now, I'll take whatever is common and handle it to the best of my ability.

I've given myself permission to fail. I've given myself permission to be vulnerable and weak. I've given myself permission to be human and make mistakes and be fallible.

But in doing so, I've also understood a bit better what I'm capable of and why I have every reason to continue to be confident despite the potential for being wrong or the potential for failure.

That's powerful. I think that counts for a lot too. Broad, I told you yet, friends.

I told you yet People you can rely on in a safety network? Are they but it's still possible to do it by yourself? No. No. It's not. No, it's not. We've talked a few times about this combining conqueror philosophy.

We were talking to Dad a few weeks ago when we did a thanksgiving episode and I had mention combine and conquer then as well. It's powerful. It's powerful. Because there's so many different ways manipulate that concept.

Right? Combining your capabilities with other people's capabilities and strengths in a can enable the team to win or succeed in some sort of finite game. Right. Like Game Theory, for example.

Right? It's some sort of a finite game. It can allow you to succeed or win because there's a way to that. And so you use other people's strengths to complement your own deficiencies, and it makes things stronger.

Now, on the other hand, you can't always do things alone. And there's a big difference and we've talked about this before, but there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Semantics in spelling aside, the the connotation is Right? The meaning might be sounding similar, but but the difference is when you're lonely you long for companionship and company.

When you're alone, you don't necessarily long for it, you're just physically by yourself. So understanding that it's okay to be by yourself or more importantly, in this case, in context, you are enough.

Self confidence and self esteem go a long way. You are enough. You don't need other people, necessarily, to be a better you.

All the time, because eventually you're going to be alone. Not in a depressing kind of sense, just physically, you can't be around people all the time. Sometimes you drive to work by yourself while then you're alone.

Right? It's okay. But you, even as a child, you are enough to entertain yourself as you build your imagination. And that's why things like are so important. You can help yourself reason through things.

You can help yourself identify with different deficiencies or falls in your life and find ways to work through. You become more of a self soothing problem solver. Right? And that's all part of the journey I think in the growth.

Rod oggry? I don't like to rely on other people. Not quite what you might consider a self starter, but I do tend to myself alone more often than not, I tend to be a little bit more introverted.

Only because I don't necessarily energize myself by being in and around crow I tend to get more energy from self reflection and spending time by myself. I enjoy being with my family I enjoy being with friends.

I enjoy being with strangers to a certain degree because I can learn new perspectives and new things, but I find I get the most benefit in terms of processing power in my brain by myself.

So I prefer that and consider that more of an introverted characteristic, which I tend to align more with.

Right. So now saying that it's okay to be alone. Right? Because you are enough to fulfill what you need. However, we're not talking physical desires here. We're not talking in any other sense than essentially being able to self soothe.

But again, for anybody just tuning in, we're talking about ownership of your mentality. Here with Will and Jonesie on on the this now, like I said, episode 7 of the podcast.

But what what we're also really talking about here is not just taking ownership of your thoughts, but encouraging this this self soothing capability. Right? And why is that important? Because it might be a nature versus nurse debate.

Right? But if nature gave you the capability to nurture yourself, which arguably it has. That's why everybody has an imagination. Really, the debate in this case is a moot point because it's mutually supporting.

Well, that was deep I hadn't considered there before, I like their response. You are naturally able to nurture yourself. I might use that. Maybe the next time I have a conversation with myself, that's how I'll justify it.

Hey. Maybe the next time you have a conversation with yourself, you'll keep it to yourself and stop telling us how you're gonna do it. Alright. Alright. Let's just back off.

I thought we're having share in a little bit. Okay. Alright. The point is, owning your mentality is often in to dictate how you respond to certain stimuli, and how you respond in certain situations involving those things.

What or not, you hold grudges, how you're able to reason through grief, and manage happiness, and control yourself or mask emotions because it's an inappropriate location or an inappropriate setting in time or an inappropriate crowd Right?

And so you have to be able to control your emotions and control yourself and your responses. And maybe it's also if you consider it as actively listening in a conversation, and in a relationship.

To pretend you're listening and have a credible, plausible, response, or actually listen. And foster a conversation of mutual benefit and encourage emotional encourage emotional intelligence.

Right. So then, like, what are we actually thinking about and talking about here? I thought this was just your mentality in your psyche and you're talking about understanding other peoples as well.

Right. Because to better pathize with people and and and build humility in taking criticism or recognizing other people's strengths even to help build teams.

And accomplish things. Whether you use a team to become a better you as human being or to accomplish some sort of an outcome is relative.

However, to be able to Relate enough to other people and creatively interpret what people want to accomplish or how people best learn and communicate, You really have to start with introspection and understanding yourself, especially if you've ignored it for any period of time.

Right. I see. I see. Alright. So we just say that's basically what you're doing then. What do you mean? Well, like this podcast, for example, or any of your other any of your other videos.

This this whole, like, survival diyT thing. Would you say that's what you're doing? I don't understand what's what I'm doing. Well, like, introspect maybe. Trying to identify yourself and process and whatever.

Yeah. Sure. A little bit. Yeah. I knew it. I knew it. We really are your friends now, then. I mean, you know, we're, I think, growing together. Yeah. And you know what? On that note, let's take a quick break.

We'll come back in a couple minutes. Everybody, thank you for tuning in to SDYT the podcast. We'll be back when we're talking about ownership of your mentality. Everybody, I'm Porter. Welcome back to SDYT the podcast.

I'm here with my buddies Will and Jonesie, host of Scott Scott Stories from Survival Dad, y t, and Jonesie, the host of Walk About, also from Survival Dead YT. We're talking about ownership of your mentality.

And if you're just tuning in. Again, welcome to the show. If you've been continuing to listen, welcome back. With that, let's pick it back up. Boys, we're talking about Well me, actually, let's move past that for a second.

What are some ways that you have found work best for you in sort of custom designing your mentality. In whatever situation supplies. But to work through it, build mental resilience, what are some things that you found work well for you?

Well, I guess I'll go first then. I think First, maybe depending on a situation, I dehumanize whatever I feel the catalyst was, and that way it's easy for me to process.

If I think about them as human, I get confused in the emotions. Right? I told you before, it's awkward for me to talk about love and other emotions.

And so to relate to that, I'm not always entirely sure how best to go about it. So I tend to dehumanize and then I make fun and make light of whatever the issue will sit was.

It helps me put some distance between me and whatever the problem was. And if I'm able to do that, Then I start to reason, reason or rationalize logically, at least, what went wrong. How best I can mitigate that from going wrong again.

And if I'm able to do that, generally speaking, processed it enough in my head where I'm comfortable in facing it again to whatever degree of success happens or is actually the outcome.

Okay. So dehumanizing is kind of interesting but humor. Okay. So would you say that's also like learning to laugh at yourself or giving yourself permission, I guess, to laugh at yourself?

Yeah. Yeah. I suppose that's basically the same thing. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Well, I can say, I guess, from my perspective, I like humor.

I like that approach. I have I think more than anything tended to ignore the problem, just bury it and move on, which I think there's enough examples where that's a bad thing or not ideal at least.

But but, Will, what's your what's your general take on this? I'll tell you what, I think, especially in my son's case there with the mask on the playground.

And in my experience, going through secondary school, It took me being a wee bit afraid to understand the importance of courage. I never quite understood what courage was moral, mental physical even.

Until I acknowledged it was okay to be afraid I thought it maybe made me weaker or less of a person for being scared because Like my dad told me when I was a wee lad as well myself, railmen, don't cry, a railman, don't get scared.

Aren't scared of anything. I was scared, and I acknowledged that I was scared.

And I told myself that it was okay to be scared. And then I found out once that it was okay, that then this these are the steps. This is how I can rebuild courage. Physical courage I saw that man again, you know.

You saw who the bully? Hey, it didn't. It was a while after, maybe near 15 years later Not aware of not a call, didn't see him online, social media, whatever. 1 day, I'm driving home. Decided I wanted to get haircut.

So I went past this little barber shop on the side of the road. Said that? Okay. I started to go get a haircut. Not only was this individual working behind the chair It was his. It was his barberish at 8. It was his. How did that go?

What did you do? I walked in and asked for a haircut. He recognized me, obviously, I recognized him and we talked. We didn't address it. He gave me a haircut, probably, in hindsight, 1 of the best haircuts I've ever had.

Great. Great man. Now, takes care of his family, which I respect anyone who does. In fact, takes care of some family members that aren't his biological children even. That's difficult. He started his own business.

He started trying to find extra ways to take care of his family. I respect that. And I started in that moment to realize he was a kid too. He thought it was funny. He didn't necessarily realize the damage he was doing.

But beyond that, whatever reason, he was picking on kids smaller than him. I didn't care anymore. In that moment, I had faced my fear physically. I had given myself permission to overcome that fear and to have it in the first place.

That's what made me become a better human in the end anyway. I appreciate that, Will. That's I mean, that actually leads us right up into tying up this episode.

The importance of owning your mentality is not just to have conversations and empathize, but It helps you become a better person. It helps you process and grieve.

It helps you enjoy and laugh. It helps you overcome fear. And understand how other people do it. It helps you teach other people. It helps you raise your children. It helps you communicate with your parents and relate to your peers.

Owning your mentality is not just a simple jocko willink getting through a situation, Not simple, but conceptually, right, as a point of reference, getting through a situation.

It may be more complicated because it's deep rooted and it's emotional trauma and it's giving yourself permission to forgive. And actually doing it, or it's giving yourself permission to grieve and actually doing it.

Or any other number of emotions that apply. Now, again, I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I don't have any clinical training. I'm just a regular dude facing actual issues like a lot of other people do.

And my friends and I had discussed on some of these things that we have in common. So I guess with that. Boys, I really appreciate you taking the time to hang out and talk on this podcast a little bit.

Hey, no problem. Thanks for having us back. I'll catch up with you next time then, guys. Till then, and survival down y t more Scott Scott Stories. Partner to thank you. Will I appreciate it, brother, we'll talk to you again later.

Jonesie, same to you, man. Take care of your boy. I hope everything's going well on that farm. And stay safe out there where you're driving around. Right, poor, I will talk to you again next time, bossy.

Again, next time, we'll walk about as well. Alright. Folks with that. I appreciate your time. Thanks for coming out again, spending some time with us here on SDYT, the podcast. I'm Porter. I'm your host, and that was SDYT the podcast.