Porter: 0:05

Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for personal values when dealing with each other and even within ourselves. Where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries and finding belonging. My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are your people. This is why values still hold value. This is Transacting Value.

Patrick Kucharson: 0:32

Great gift giving. A lot of it has to do with just being authentic to who you are as a gift giver but, most importantly, authentic to who the gift recipient is.

Porter: 0:46

Alrighty folks, welcome back to Transacting Value, where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values. Our theme for season four is intrinsic values, so what your character is doing when you look yourself in the mirror. Now, if you're new to the podcast, welcome, and if you're a continuing listener, welcome back. Today we're talking our November core values of gratitude, appreciation and resilience, and also this is going to close out our final mini series of the year called Inherent Value, where essentially we're covering what we hold as traditions and sentiments and the values we pass along to the people we care about in all things that have to do with our own personal value systems as well. Now, today we're covering all of those topics with the founder of a weekly newsletter called Better Gift Coach, and so, from bettergiftcoachcom, it's Patrick Kucharsson, and, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host and this is Transacting Value. Patrick, what's up, man? How you doing.

Patrick Kucharson: 1:48

Porter, I'm so excited to be here. Let's get going.

Porter: 1:52

Dude, I can't believe that it took us as long as it did For everybody listening. We're on a video call, right, and it's just easier, right. You see somebody face to face, the nonverbal cues, all the atmospherics, all the stuff, aside from being able to like, I don't know, smell each other or whatever you do, everything else is there, right. So it's not just audio we've got. However, this time the biggest issue we had was entirely audio. I don't know if it was me, I don't know if it was Patrick, but between the two of us at least. Now we've got it figured out, and that was what. What would you say Like a 20 minute ordeal?

Patrick Kucharson: 2:23

That was almost 30 minutes. I saw this meme recently. I think it sums it up for the audience really well. It's just like they're comparing modern Zoom meetings to seances. And it's just like Porter, you're all sitting around a tape, porter, can you hear me? Can you hear me, porter? It's a really good meme if anyone wants to look that up.

Porter: 2:43

Yeah, it sounds pretty solid. But all these considered talking about relationships, it sounds like you're the guy to talk to, right? How do we reconcile our relationships in some sort of materialistic way is pretty solid and totally up your alley. But what I'm more excited to hear about is how it's not just the material things we're communicating through our gifts. So before we get to all those things, though because nobody else can see you and they may not even know who you are, let alone better gift coach as a brand or a newsletter let's just take the first couple minutes here. The floor is yours, but who are you? Where are you from? What sort of things have shaped your perspective? Sure?

Patrick Kucharson: 3:19

My name is Patrick Bucharest and, as Porter said, I run Better Gift Coach. It's a free weekly newsletter that is your one minute weekly shortcut to always having great gift ideas well in advance. I am based in my hometown of Cleveland, ohio, and is this the point where you want to get into some of the values that I was raised with Porter, or is that later in the conversation?

Porter: 3:46

We could bring it up a little bit later as far as formalities go, but I understand there are strong sort of underpinning for what shaped your perspective. But what about some topics? I'll tell you this here's what I know about Cleveland. A little bit about sports, and I understand Drew Carey's show was there as well. That's about it. So, like, what is it about Cleveland that helps enhance this? I guess desire or passion for you to want to give better gifts in the first place.

Patrick Kucharson: 4:12

Yeah, great question. I certainly have never been asked that question, but I would say Cleveland's a pretty authentic place. You have the stereotypes about Cleveland and some might be true, some I would disagree with, but I will say that it's authentic. And gift giving I think a lot of it has to do great gift giving. A lot of it has to do with just being authentic to who you are as a gift giver but, most importantly, authentic to who the gift recipient is.

Porter: 4:45

Well, that makes a lot of sense because I've gotten gifts. Well, for that matter, I've given gifts in the past that are like I really think this person's going to like this and they don't. They're just too nice to admit it, but it makes me feel good by giving gifts. But that's not really the point either. And I saw this two men on your website. Actually, you've got articles you were in and I'm pretty sure this is just within the last year. I think You've got articles in New York Times. I think you even wrote a piece for edible arrangements like bestproductscom. This isn't just a you thing, you've actually got some traction. So how do you identify a specific niche? I mean, you've got gifts for birthdays and weddings and bar mitzvahs and graduation and, I don't know, funerals in some cases. Do you specify? How do you arrange? How do you clarify your angle?

Patrick Kucharson: 5:34

I don't so let's feel the onion back to the core of what Better Gift Coach is and kind of the origin stories. So it may surprise some people to hear that I myself am not a great gift giver by nature. I am a great gift giver now, but by nature I'm not, and no less than two years ago I found myself in a position where I was doing some self-reflection and I'm like a B-minus gift giver. So every once in a while I hit one out of the park, but not always. And then, as career and kids started to impact my relationship specifically with my wife, I realized that I was giving her A plus gifts far less than I was in the past. So it was my own personal mission at first to become a better gift giver, and the hack that I uncovered that really worked for me was to keep a library of the greatest gifts that people have ever received or given and then just copy those ideas and the library got rich enough where I said, hey, I think this is an opportunity to share these stories and some of my own guidance with others in a free weekly newsletter. And that's really the origins of Better Gift Coach. And that's the structure too. Every week it's a one to two minute read. It's going to share a short story of the greatest gift that someone has ever received or given, and then I do provide some guidance and helpful links for the readers to use as gift inspiration for themselves, that's a solid idea, and I mean all things considered.

Porter: 7:09

There's no new wheels, right. So people have been giving each other all sorts of issues and all sorts of benefits for as long as humans have been around, I'm pretty sure. And so starting out with copying, for example, some of the Better Gift ideas on paper sounds great. But when you say Better Gift, what is Better Gift? What is Normal Gift Like? How are you qualifying these?

Patrick Kucharson: 7:32

Yeah, I think that a lot of it is subjective, but there is some truth behind, or maybe a formula I would say for what I believe in research would support as what makes a great gift or a better gift, and really that is providing lasting value to the recipient. So any kind of gift that you can give where you're trying to maximize, within reason, the lasting value that you can provide your gift recipients, that's generally a good gift, and I do want to clarify that lasting value can come in at least two different flavors. One would be material or practical value, and the other would be more sentimental value or emotional value, and I guess I can give you examples of both. Let's say that one of the better gifts that I've ever received is my wife gifted me a Vitamix some Thomas Moody guy in the morning, and this is probably. We've probably had the same Vitamix for six or seven years and I use it almost every morning. That is lasting value that she gets to witness, which we could talk a little bit more about later, why that's even special for her as a gift giver. So that's an example of this practical value. But then there's emotional value, emotional lasting value, where let's say that you fondly remember you were having a bad day and a friend showed up with a pizza and you still remember that, even though it's a decade ago. So that pizza was a gift and it has provided this lasting value that I'm talking about in emotional flavor.

Porter: 9:08

I've thought about the differences before in trying to come up with gifts. I've thought about the differences before, and I think the biggest hurdle that I've run into, and probably even still present day, is I don't think I make the intentional time enough to get to know somebody well enough to say you know what, I'm just going to get a gift card, I'm just going to send a card in the mail, because I feel like either I guess to the point you just brought up either I don't know them well enough or I don't know me well enough to convey the intent or the appropriate angle. And so when you're considering strengths and what you have to offer and what you bring to the table as it sounds to me anyways, even when you're considering a gift for somebody else, those things are important too, because it's sort of communicating and appreciating the value that you see in somebody else. So there should be some semblance of a reminder of oh hey, thanks, man, that's from this guy or that's from this person, right? So let's do this. This is a segment of the show called Developing Character.

Patrick Kucharson: 10:03

Developing Character.

Porter: 10:04

Developing Character and for anybody new to the show. This is two questions, patrick, from your perspective, entirely as vulnerable, as open as you want to be with your answers. But this is going to set the tune here for a little bit further into the conversation and it's all about your value systems. So this first question what were some of your values growing up?

Patrick Kucharson: 10:26

Yeah. So when I was prepping to be on this show, I did some reflection on that and there were four values that I believe my folks wanted to instill in me and hopefully some of that stuck and has lasted and it comes down to the acronym HAHA, so, haha, all right. So the first one is honesty. That was always really important in my household and to this day, I'm just a horrible liar and I'm fine with that, I guess. Unless I'm playing poker, it generally works to my advantage. So honesty would be the first one. The second one, the first A, being from Cleveland, as I mentioned earlier, I'd like to say that I was raised in a household where we really valued being authentic to yourself and who you are. The second H would be humility. My family is really good at poking fun of each other and poking fun of ourselves and just making sure that we're not elevating ourselves over others. This was really important in the household. And the last one was accountability, and I actually came with a story to share about the type of accountability that my parents tried to instill in me. So I remember I was young I would say 10 or maybe even younger we were on a family vacation and I was able to lucky enough to bring a friend on that vacation and it was in one of the Carolinas, I don't remember where exactly, but, being a dumb 10-year-old boy, what we did was we had to face a elevator door and I don't remember exactly what we wrote on the elevator door. Let's say it wasn't certainly R rated, but it was probably PG-13 rated. And parents just somehow, like the next day, we got in the elevator and I don't know how they knew, but they knew that it was us and they were pretty upset with me and I remember being worried that I was going to get in trouble with my parents. And then when we got home, they told me that I had to write a letter to the owner of that property and admit what I did. And that's what they had me do. I don't know if they ever mailed it, but that just goes to show of just how far they were willing to take this accountability value in the household and try to instill that in me.

Porter: 12:49

Yeah Well, that's huge right, and especially now. First off, handwriting, anything I think is underrated. It's got some merit. But when it comes to gifts, humility, accountability, authenticity, I think carry just as much gravity. And so now, over the last totally assuming, based on your face 25 to 35 years of your life since then, you now, I'm assuming have learned a few things, whether it's about those or it's about gifts, or it's about your worldview, but in the event, any of those have changed. My second question what are some of your values now?

Patrick Kucharson: 13:25

I would hope those haven't changed and have only gotten better at them. Most of our values are like a muscle, and the more that you exercise and the stronger that they get. But one of the values that I wouldn't say it wasn't present, but I certainly wasn't as good at as I am now and I think a lot of this comes with being married is just being quick to forgiveness, and that's just a value that I think is lacking in society. And then I try to practice and by no means am I pitching a perfect game here, but I recognize that and I know that there's still room to grow. But yeah, that's one of the values that I've added is just super quick forgiveness is what I always strive for.

Porter: 14:09

Alright, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value, humility, self-confidence, compassion and appreciation from this one-minute-per-week newsletter. Looking for stories and gift ideas? Well, they've got those too, with insights and corroboration from people nationwide and editorials from the New York Times, edible arrangements and podcasts like Everyday Style School Podcast, non-profit Nation Podcast or even Real Simple Magazine. Perusing the Better Gift Coach newsletter keeps you in pretty good company. Plus, gifting can be just as much about getting to know yourself as it is about getting to know the other person. Looking for a way to showcase the value of your values, head over to BetterGiftCoachcom to subscribe to the newsletter today.

Patrick Kucharson: 15:18

But yeah, that's one of the values that I've added. It's just super quick. Forgiveness is what I always strive for.

Porter: 15:24

Do you find that there's any benefit in that when you're the gift receiver, because you're basically a gift coach, right so? Retirements practices, moving gifts whatever the circumstance, but it's not just giving the gift involves a two-way transaction, right? So do you ever get really bad gifts?

Patrick Kucharson: 15:44

Of course I get bad gifts we all do and I never really thought about it this way about quick forgiveness with gifting. You know, I don't know. Typically, when I receive a gift and I think this is true for a lot of people it's not that you're mad at the person where there's anything really to forgive, it's just, oh, you know this person missed the mark and hopefully you can see that they did put some effort into, you know, thinking about what to give you and you know the gift recipient should celebrate that and, as you mentioned, it's a two-way street and I already mentioned. You know what the gift giver should be striving for with a great gift and that's, you know, within reason, lasting value to the gift recipient. We should talk about the gift recipient and what I believe you know they can do to make this a win-win experience. So, gift recipients, you know if you receive something, the best thing you could do is make sure that the gift giver is able to witness the lasting value that that gift provided them, even if it's short-term value and even if it's a gift that, let's say, missed the mark a little bit. But I was just on a podcast recently called the Everyday Style School and the host is a personal stylist, mostly for women, and her tip was yeah, don't really ever gift clothes, that's a no-no. But if someone does gift you clothing, the best thing you could do is try it on once, take a picture with you wearing it, send it to them and then, you know, donate it or give it to someone else who's going to appreciate it. And that example really stuck with me. There's another example. So in the Better Gift Coach newsletter, every week I share the story of the best gift that someone's ever received or given. Most of the time I'm talking to gift givers and giving them gift ideas, but I did focus one week on a gift recipient and how she made a gift really special for the gift giver. So the quick story is that an aunt who lived out of state from her niece was told that the niece wanted this particular green sweater in this size for Christmas I believe it was and the aunt got the niece this green sweater. We've all had this happen in our life hundreds of times over. That's a transaction that typically doesn't go much further than the exchange, but what the niece did, which is special, is she continued to follow up with that aunt, not every time she was wearing this sweater, but often, whenever she was wearing the sweater for years into the future, she was sending this aunt's photos of her wearing this sweater. I mean, aunt and the niece didn't really have that close of a connection before the sweater, but this certainly strengthened the bond between them too, which made this gift really special. And I think it's a great example of especially talking about the value of gratitude how someone in the gift recipient role could show gratitude to a gift giver.

Porter: 18:49

Well, that's sort of the point, I guess, isn't it? You know, like? I had a conversation with a guy he's an astrophysicist out of the UK named Ian and he talked about how his I guess you could say preference for science or for scientific research is exoplanets and extraterrestrial intelligence Super cool conversation. But in context, while we were talking, it sort of came to this realization that in studying space and potential alien life, he said everybody says what if there's intelligent life out there? He said what if it's a valid question? It's literally driving his career and his interest I assume hobbies as well. But then he said but what if there's not? What if it's just us? Like the amount of responsibility that we have as a human race to learn how to experience what this consciousness is all about and being alive, and the amount of responsibility or even, to a certain degree, ownership and agency that gives us to be able to share that experience and that perspective and that appreciation or that gratitude with other people, and in which ways we can do that more intentionally to his point, was the overall value he tried to make or is trying to make, sort of destigmatizing science and making science more acceptable and accessible. But I think in this case it carries a lot of the same gravity I guess no pun intended where it's sort of our role in giving gifts as the expression of valuing somebody's existence and insight. All right, if folks sit tight, we'll be right back on Transacting Value. Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter to George Washington in 1787 that agriculture is our wisest pursuit because it will in the end, contribute most to wealth, good morals and happiness. Did you know that, even at a nearly $1 billion valuation, farmers markets nationwide still authentically serve their local markets as direct-to-consumer, farm-fresh models of freedom, health, reliance and teamwork? At the Keystone Farmers Market in Odessa, florida, those same ideals also cultivate an agritourism experience, preserving the old ways of wholesome, family-oriented, sustainable growth of produce and people For premium quality produce at affordable prices, opportunities for the kiddos to feed the baby cows or to simply wander the garden and watch your future meals grow. Visit Keystone Farmers Market on Facebook or come by in person to 12615 Tarbon Springs Road, keystone Farmers Market, the place with the boiled peanuts. It's sort of our role in giving gifts as the expression of valuing somebody's existence and insight and intention and value, whether it's receiving or giving a gift. But that being the act of or the means to the end of, I really appreciate your perspective, your time, your effort, your energy, the consideration for somebody else's humanity. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion too much, but what are your thoughts on that, patrick?

Patrick Kucharson: 22:02

Well, I would agree with what you generally said. Another interesting thread to pull here is why we give gifts. As you stated and I agree with this is a lot of times we give a gift to show someone that we value them and we want to foster our relationship with them. That is more of a selfless motive for gift giving. But if we go back in time and even if we fast forward till today, there's always been these selfish motives for giving gifts, which I find really interesting and I find myself guilty of often. There's great research to support this, where we're many people and many times we find ourselves giving gifts that violate the cardinal rule that I have for gift giving, which is you want to give gifts that people want to receive more than gifts that you want to give. So it's complex, but if you want to be a great gift giver, your top priority should be to give a gift that someone wants to receive. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't give gifts that you don't want to give, and a lot of times you can check both those boxes. But it's really important to make sure that your guiding priority is giving a gift that people want to receive. But there's a ton of other selfish reasons, including gift givers, and there's great research behind this out of Carnegie Mellon and West Virginia University. One of the researchers that I work with his name is Julian Gibby. He's out of West Virginia and some of his research supports that gift givers will prioritize the moment of exchange and the feeling that they feel from giving a recipient something over the value that the gift is actually going to offer the recipient Interesting.

Porter: 24:02

So, okay, let me ask you this then. I guess the threshold to that point giving somebody what they want what's your opinion? I guess I've got two points here, but the first one relevant to this I don't know what to get you, so you know what? How about you just tell me something you want and I'll just buy it for you and send it to you, vice, when you see this, you'll think of us in happy moments and fill in the blank. It's a bit more sentimental than maybe material. Just ask somebody Do you recommend that? And be done with it 100%.

Patrick Kucharson: 24:33

So I have three gift giving mistakes that most of us are guilty of I know that I am and the first one is just not being proactive enough, and that's one of the things the newsletter is trying to solve. For is, if you're receiving an entertaining newsletter in your inbox from Better Gift Coach every week it's a one to two minute read You're going to be in that gift brainstorming zone at least for a couple minutes every week, right, and that's what I'm trying to get to. That's the first mistake that I think a lot of gift givers make is not being proactive year round. Who cares if it's August and you're buying a gift in August for a gifting occasion in November? You know you'll just thank yourself when November comes around. So the second mistake that we make is treating gift giving like a solo sport, and then this is going to get to the point that you just made, porter, is you want to treat it like a team sport, and let's talk about quickly who should be on your team and, first and most importantly, who should be on your team is the gift recipient, and science supports that. You should just ask someone what they want, and this is an example of prioritizing giving them gifts that they want to receive over gifts that you want to give. Now, in reality, not everyone's helpful and we could talk more about that, if you want to get into that. And I do want to get to the third mistake we make and I've already covered this, so I'll just need to mention it is being selfish in your gift. Giving would be the third one. But, yeah, absolutely, to put a bow on the answer to your initial question, yeah, I absolutely support always asking someone what they want and then giving them that. And if there's something you can add on to that gift that's more personal and it's more for you as the gift giver and it's going to make you feel great, then I see no problem with that, because you're still mainly prioritizing the value that you're offering them.

Porter: 26:25

Okay, let's try this then. I don't know if there's a formal word for this, and maybe you do, maybe there is, I'm not sure, but I'm going to call it estranged gifting, not a strange gift, estranged gifting. So, for example, my son and I are long distance and because he lives well most of his life with his mom, he just happens to have approximately more time with also her family, which means, then, out of a total fixed amount of time in his life per year, approximately less time with mine. So my parents, for example, have a hard time figuring out. But what are his interests now? What's he into? How can I get him? Alrighty folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value. Alrighty folks, here at Transacting Value, we write and produce all the material for our podcast in-house game perspective alongside you, our listeners, and exchange vulnerability and dialogue with our contributors every Monday morning. But for distribution, buzz brought the platform to use. You want to know how popular you are in Europe or how Apple is a preferred platform to stream your interviews? Buzz brought can do that. You want to stream on multiple players through an RSS or custom feed, or even have references and resources to take your podcast's professionalism, authenticity and presence to a wider audience. Buzz brought can do that too. Here's how. Start with some gear that you already have in a quiet space. If you want to upgrade, buzz brought us tons of guides to help you find the right equipment at the right price. Buzz brought gets your show listed in every major podcast platform. You'll get a great looking podcast website, audio players that you can drop into other websites, detailed analytics to see how people are listening, tools to promote your episodes and more. Podcasting isn't hard when you have the right partners. The team at Buzz brought is passionate about helping you succeed. Join over a hundred thousand podcasters already using Buzz brought to get their message out to the world. Plus, following the link in the show notes, let's Buzz brought know we sent you gets you a $20 credit if you sign up for a paid plan and help support our show. You want more value for your values. Buzz brought can do that too. My parents, for example, have a hard time figuring out what are his interests now. What's he into? What can I get him? But I can't talk to him for any number of reasons Ted and a lot of these young right, so he doesn't have his own phone or anything like that. So if you don't know what to get somebody and you don't know who to ask, or whoever you have to ask isn't giving you enough insight for you to make a good enough or what you feel is a good enough decision, how do you gift through that and try to show some sort of gratitude or appreciation?

Patrick Kucharson: 29:12

That's a real challenge. That's a great question also and I would hope the newsletter helps solve for being in that situation, because we are sharing stories of great gifts that were given to a ton of different demographics and I'm sure at least a couple of times we've mentioned a great gift that has gone to you know, your son's demographic, so copying that gift might work. But I also, you know, I think this is a situation that I don't think that your folks are ever going to have as much information as you know your son's mother's parents. But they can eventually get more information. You know they can ask for feedback after they give a gift and try to adjust the next time they give a gift. But yeah, it's a tricky situation and my advice would then just be go and try to find examples of gifts given to a similar demographic and hope those work or just give something practical. Like you know, if you see photos of your son wearing often wearing the same hooded sweatshirt, well, maybe you want to find out their size and just get them the next size up right, because you know that would likely be a winning gift. Just examples like that that are shared in the Better Gift Coach newsletter.

Porter: 30:30

That's what I was going to say. Yeah, I saw an article you wrote in one of those, maybe about a month ago at the time of this recording, about how kids can grow into practical gifts and I think a lot about that particular write up was clothing. I don't have it pulled up, but that could be in terms of maturity. That could be perspective or interest or hobby or taste, preference or activity or whatever right, not just clothes.

Patrick Kucharson: 30:53

Yeah, absolutely, and it's tough with kids because it's constantly changing and I recognize that as a father. Yeah, we overdid it with with Paw Patrol things and then all of a sudden it's like our son woke up and he wasn't interested in Paw Patrol anymore and now we have a chest full of Paw Patrol toys. So it does happen. And then also, when I think they get to a certain age, especially in the teen years, science would pretty much support for the best gift to them would just be gift cards. Gift cards are great gifts to teens. I know that for your parents it kind of feels less personal and they're not checking that box as a gift giver of making themself likely feel good about giving a teenager a gift. But teenagers love gift cards because they kids. They say they don't know what to do with cash because they don't go places to purchase things and they generally don't have credit cards. So all their purchases are online but they don't have the means to purchase them via credit card. So a gift card is a great gift.

Porter: 31:53

That's a great point, to sort of accommodating changing times without sacrificing intentionality. Yeah, absolutely, there's an interesting point you just brought up to, I think Chase I think was the cop puppy on Paw Patrol. Yes, yeah, anyway, we went. We went from Chase a couple years ago.

Patrick Kucharson: 32:10

We get into Paw Patrol.

Porter: 32:12

But you brought this on yourself. We went from Chase a couple years ago to I may misrepresent this, but I'm pretty sure we're somewhere around Rafael or Leonardo right now. Teenage Mutant Ninja oh, cool, right, right. Yeah, we're still, you know, in the animal kingdom, making progress eventually, you know, don't get me wrong, there's people, too, spider-man's, up there. Okay, arguably still animal themed, but it's, it's a transition.

Patrick Kucharson: 32:43

Crime fighting animals or humans with animal abilities. Yeah, that seems to last a long time for for adolescents.

Porter: 32:52

I wouldn't even say adolescents, though, dude, like I appreciate a good superhero card or like that's true, I think, yeah, I think there's a little bit of depth when it comes to the sci-fi is not really appropriate, but creative interpretations of reality like superheroisms and cartoons and nostalgic things that maybe don't apply now because you may not grow into them but you certainly may not grow out of them either, and sometimes I feel like that can carry some depth. What sort of stories? I agree, there's one of my last questions for you, because I know you've got a bunch of stories, but what sort of stories do you have, if any, about sort of the lasting impact of nostalgia or sentiment when it comes to gifts, because that can be multi-generational, from one grandmother to a grandchild that she got as a granddaughter.

Patrick Kucharson: 33:41

Yeah, so so definitely, nostalgia is the secret sauce for a lot of really special gifts, and I can share stories about people giving nostalgia gifts and those being the best gifts that they've ever received or given.

Porter: 33:58

Alright, folks stay tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value, the growth of each generation, no matter the temptation at Huff and Cluck or Farm. That's just another Tuesday. Want to learn how to homestead or just more effectively develop your character for an unknown future? Follow or direct message on Instagram at Huff and Cluck or Farm. Watch it happen in real time. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. A foolish man learns from his own.

Patrick Kucharson: 34:53

Nostalgia is a secret sauce for a lot of really special gifts and I can share stories about people giving nostalgic gifts and those being the best gifts that they've ever received or given. A couple that I could think of is. So. One of the questions you asked that I don't think I answered was a lot of the stories that I share in the Better Gift Coach newsletter are subscribers submitted. So there's thousands of subscribers who are generally very active and they're sharing their stories on a weekly basis and then I curate them and then re-share them with some of my own perspective and guidance. And one of the stories that was recently shared by a subscriber is her father was turning 60. And what she did is she wrote to family and friends from different chapters of her father's life. I think she even got a hold of one of his old teachers and had them write little memory slips, like little letters of memories that they have with her father and that was his 60th present. She put 60 of them in a jar and gave it to him and she claims it was the best gift that he's ever received. So it's a really special gift that pulls on those nostalgic hard strings. And another quick one that I really like and this was really popular with the subscribers and note also order these gifts that I just mentioned and the next one that I'll mention. These are basically free gifts, so generally you don't need to break the budget in order to give a really special gift. The second gift that I'll share is a subscriber said that for Mother's Day she created a crossword puzzle for her mom, who, her mom, is an avid crossword puzzler for the New York Times. So she created this crossword puzzle and all of the clues and answers were memories, inside jokes, people in their life, that kind of stuff. So it was very personalized to the mom and her life and the mom just loved it and a ton of subscribers also loved that idea and ended up copying it for people in their own lives.

Porter: 37:05

That is cool. I mean it's sort of like quilting or any sort of arts and crafts, scrapbooking, those kinds of things. I think it's a great idea, man, and, all things considered, what you're doing. What I really appreciate out of these types of conversations on transacting values is that we're able to more directly, more explicitly realign humanity with humanity and why there's some relevance and resonance there. And I think what you're doing, in realistically a similar manner of speaking, is exactly that and bringing appreciation and bringing value and merit and depth and consideration back to people's interpersonal relationships. I think you've got a super powerful idea and obviously it's keeping you busy enough reading through your email. So if people want to find out more, track down your newsletter, follow along and obviously, subscribe, get advice, gain insight. Where do people go and how do you recommend they do it.

Patrick Kucharson: 37:59

The simplest way would be to go to bettergiftcoachcom. That's bettergiftcoachcom, and right there there'll be a box you can fill out just an email to subscribe to the free newsletter. Again, it's a weekly shortcut to always having awesome gift ideas while in advance. Who doesn't want to be in that situation? I joke that one thing I'm offering, or a side effect of the newsletter, is, if you subscribe now, by the time we hit the holidays or by the time we hit December, you might find yourself time for like a Saturday afternoon nap, because you already have your gift giving time instead of shopping on a Saturday afternoon, like most of us end up doing during the holidays. So yeah, if that's your goal, I can get you there for free, one to two minutes a week.

Porter: 38:45

Hey, you really can't beat that For everybody listening, whichever platform you're listening to this conversation on, or even if it's through our website, click, see More. Click Show More in the description for this and you'll see a link to Patrick's website for his newsletter as well, and that'll take you straight there. So if it's easier for you to get there, feel free to jump in there as well. But, patrick, I appreciate the opportunity man, I know you've got a life and kids to get to and so crafting some time out of your schedule to just share some of this insight and perspective. And you know, like I said, how do we strengthen interpersonal relationships isn't like the main, primary topic of public discourse. So I appreciate you being willing and open and vulnerable to actually make it get there. So thanks, dude.

Patrick Kucharson: 39:27

Thanks for having me, thanks for facilitating these conversations. I'm a fan of the pod Keep it up.

Porter: 39:32

Thanks, brother, I appreciate it, and everybody else thank you for tuning in to our core values for November gratitude, appreciation, resilience, obviously into our mini series as well inherent value. I'd also like to thank, I suppose, the everyday style school podcast that Patrick talked about earlier, the friend you know what, paul Patrol and Nickelodeon and everybody that made our childhood awesome and all our childhood gifts better the gift receivers, the gift givers contributing to a better gift coach newsletter. Without you guys in your stories, frankly, patrick, I don't know if we would have been here in this conversation right now. Man inspiration from all places and all walks and all people. So there's a certain amount of civility and commonality there that we can drive, especially now when everything's a bit more divisive. So you know what? Thank you to you guys. Also, thank you to our show partners and folks. Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together, to check out our other conversations, merchandise or even to contribute through feedback, follows, time, money or talent, and let us know what you think of the show. Please reach out on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom. We stream new episodes every Monday at 9am Eastern Standard Time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms and we'll meet you there Until next time. That was Transacting Value.