Transacting Value Podcast - Instigating Self-worth

How do sacrifice, trust, perseverance and reflection fulfill spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being? What type of legacy do you create for your lineage? What about from your physical self left behind for the public as your virtual self outlives you? If you have ever thought of these questions, then this episode is for you.

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Transacting Value Podcast

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Alrighty folks, welcome back to Season 2, Episode 3 of Transacting Value Podcast.

How do sacrifice, trust, perseverance and reflection fulfill spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being? What type of legacy do you create for your lineage? What about from your physical self left behind for the public as your virtual self outlives you? If you have ever thought of these questions, then this episode is for you. Whether that actually applies or metaphorically resonates, let's shine some light on some otherwise dark places.

Today we're discussing the inherent but underrated January core values of Ambition, Perseverance, and Reflection as strategies for that growth with a good friend, Christian Monge. We cover different aspects of constructive, critical, and honest feedback between you and yourself, or other people. Together, we tackle self-esteem, introspection, physical, emotional, and mental recovery.

If you are new to the podcast, welcome! If you're a continuing listener, welcome back! Thanks for hanging out with us and enjoying the conversation. Values still hold value.

Special thanks to the Patriot Empowerment Institute, and The Bee and the Bear Creations for your support and to the Bialik Breakdown podcast for your inspiration! www.patriotempowermentinstitute.org. www.facebook.com/The-Bee-and-the-Bear-Creations www.bialikbreakdown.com #survivaldadyt #combineandconquer #bialikbreakdown #entrustedleadership #SDYTthePodcast

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Until next time, I'm Porter. I'm your host; and that was Transacting Value.

 

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Transcript

Alrighty folks. Welcome back to our next episode of SDYT, the podcast, where values still hold value.

 

We're talking about a few different topics with a few different guests and even some personalities about realistic perspectives. In building resiliency, finance, fitness, mental, and spiritual health.

 

As always, if you want to contribute material or join us on an episode, email survival dad y t at gmail dot com. Or message on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube. Now if you're new to the podcast, welcome Thanks for stopping in.

 

And if you're returning, welcome back. Thank you for hanging out with us for a little bit. To everyone watching, Subscribe, ring the bell. That way you get notifications every time a new episode comes out.

 

I'm really glad you guys stopped by, so let's cover our next episode. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to SDYT, the podcast I'm Porter. I'm your host. I hope everybody's having a fantastic new year so far.

 

Here we are mid January 20 22. We've been pulling in all sorts of people and perspectives now rolling into the new year. We're talking our theme being the character of your character.

 

So who you wanna become, what want to embody who and how you want to inspire. Right? But the values that back that up. In January, our core values were were focusing around our ambition, perseverance, and reflection.

 

But specifically, this particular episode is a bit different. So we tackle those and we also have a few additional this particular episode, which is it's gonna be pretty exciting.

 

Guys, I really appreciate you joining us. For this episode and taking some time to stop by and listen to real perspectives, real people, and real value. So without further ado, I'm Porter.

 

I'm your host, and this is SDYT the podcast. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to SDYT, the podcast. Again, I'm Porter. I'm your host. This particular episode, we got a guy who actually called in for the Christmas special last year as well.

 

He and his wife, but out of Atlanta, Georgia, former army aviation veteran current helicopter mechanic, married 3 daughters, Christian.

 

I don't know how much more I can say about you man, we we haven't really been in too close of contact. I think since we graduated about a decade ago from college. But Christian Montge, Everybody. Christian, what's up man? How you doing?

 

Good. Good. How are you doing? It's good to keep me here with you. Yeah. I'm I'm pretty excited. It this is kind of I guess comparably not as long of a time but overall been a long time coming. So I'm glad we could work something out.

 

Yeah. For sure. I remember, you know, back in the day when we used to hang out. We used to have a lot of in-depth conversations as well, so I'm assuming that we're gonna have a lot more right now.

 

Yeah. Something like that. I think think the last time I actually saw you in person, you were driving a little red 50 cc dirt bike to class.

 

Yeah. That was that was coming by head mode, you know. Just live happy and fast even if it's on 2 wheels under 3 feet. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Yeah. I get that. Oh, man. That was cool. I was inexperienced though. College life. I don't know if it's ever gonna compare again. You know, COVID technology, curriculum changes. Who knows? But but it was good for what it was, I think.

 

What'd you end up majoring in by the way? I don't even know. I don't remember. So I ended up majoring in business management. I started off psychology and then shifted my focus to businessman.

 

Oh, okay. Alright. Well, I imagine as a helicopter mechanic, it served you well. Yeah. I did, you know, managing people, managing my time, managing all the maintenance aspect.

 

And having to do spreadsheets and all that sort of thing, it did it did come in handy and still does come in handy pretty much every day and just interacting with people on a daily basis that that need a little bit of guidance or if I need some self reflection that helps out a lot.

 

Yeah. Yeah. So I I majored in business management as well, actually.

 

And I I found that while I was there, especially in hindsight, I probably could've done myself a better service and and paid better attention, but Whatever I picked up while I was at school.

 

I think in hindsight, I used and internalized a little bit more, you know, for for my own organization and self development.

 

Right? Like, there's accounting things and some other pieces I've I've fallen to. But, you know, philosophy, organizational management, leadership, even logistics to a certain degree.

 

It's a it's a pretty solid well rounded major. I think it worked out well. There's a lot of people that I've seen now, comments on discord or social media or whatever, you know, whatever majors they've had, and they never use.

 

And then they go back to school and pay for more loans. So I'm glad it worked out well for you though.

 

Yeah. It did. It was definitely applicable, especially in my military career, it really helped me do a lot I may not have been prepared for as far as, you know, like I'll say managing people in time.

 

So definitely, you know, you learn everything in college don't really get a chance to apply it properly until you do, but then you often wonder where did I learn this because it's been so long since you were taught that.

 

Yeah. You know? And you're like, man, how did I how did I know how to understand the situation?

 

And then a few days later, you may think back to him, oh, yeah. I learned that in undergrad. Oh, it's wild too, especially, like I said, now almost a decade.

 

I don't know half of what I learned at the time that I actually did well in a class. Like I passed, I graduated. But but now responding with some things or or exposure to certain situations, Yeah.

 

Same same kind of thing. As a matter of fact, I just talked to a guy the other day. We were in a philosophy class. I don't know if you remember or or ever had doc Hudson. He was what was he? Something about? The modern things are built.

 

Yeah. Something about ancient Greek literature. I don't know why I would have had that class, but something about that and we're talking about it. And yeah. Anyway, it actually came up in conversation the other day.

 

We're talking about Plato and Aristotle and I think I held my weight, but I gotta give credit to him. You know? Yeah. For sure. You wouldn't have have known anything to say maybe if it hadn't have been Oh, well, there's that.

 

But ancient Greek classics aren't exactly my forte on a Saturday afternoon, so That's a such thing, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, man, yeah, outside of school, I guess, how's Gabby? How are the girls?

 

What's going on? The wife and the the daughters are well. You know, we manage a pretty interesting schedule. I work 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off So, you know, her how do I say? Her executive functioning is much higher than my Yeah.

 

I I'm responsible for myself and my aircraft, and she's responsible for herself. All 3 children, the dog, myself, our finances, So she's doing really well. She's she's a rock that holds us all together, and the daughters are great.

 

They're healthy. They're happy. They do sports and activities. And they just enjoy life as much possible in an in an outside of cleaning their rooms and all the normal stuff. Yeah.

 

As much as you can get them to anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. That's a learn on both ends. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. So we're we're about the same age. Right? You're in your early thirties, more or less mid thirties right now?

 

Yep. Yeah. Also exactly the same age. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's it's crazy too. Some of the things, previous episodes we've got here on this podcast, but then also We've got a sort of sister series.

 

It's a video series, survival dad, y t. And a lot of the episodes and topics that we've covered there as well. Sort of reflection on sort of a balance between as young as we are now, but as old as we feel mentally or physically.

 

And then how to communicate lessons learned to and from our parents and to and from our kids, different generational gaps and things.

 

And It's weird. I never thought it would be difficult to explain to somebody the importance of keeping your room clean. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But but man, we've we've had some pretty wild topics, especially my son and I.

 

We we talk about things that just to me, I I don't even think twice about, you know. But it's it's all new to him. So Yeah. If you have, you know, if you have checklist.

 

And the first thing on that checklist every day is to make your bed, then that starts you off in the right direction. Because once you've done that, you're already working through that checklist. Where do I hear that?

 

Admiral Mcraven, I think it was. I saw him on a video clip or something talking about that as well. Yeah. He was a navy seal and he had a thing that I listened to and that was something that stuck with me about what he said.

 

Yeah. Yeah. I like that. There's a lot of little habits like that too to either start your day off better, more productively, successfully, more efficiently, whatever you wanna qualify it as.

 

And and then in the evenings as well to help you wind down, decompress, sort of just for your own mental health and well-being or or help you fall asleep too.

 

Oh, yeah. Matter of fact, there's There's a podcast. And just recently, in the last, I don't know, month, maybe, I started listening to as well. It called Beallix breakdown. Have you heard of it at all?

 

I haven't. Now tell me about it. So So the lady, she's she's she's an author, she's an actress, she's podcast host, she's actually also a neuroscientist. Yeah. Her name's Mom Bealek, and she was on the Big Bang Theory.

 

Burnett glasses. Maybe if you've never seen her anyways, so she was on there. And she talks to the a lot celebrities mostly, you know, famous people. And why people She breaks down why people have breakdowns.

 

Interesting. It is. It's pretty neat. Yeah. Mental. Mental health is I mean, it's obviously not a new topic, but I I think as sort of public discourse, it is undervalued in its importance to be able to communicate it.

 

You know, I mean, it you gotta communicate to survive, but I think to a certain degree, also for your own just well-being, to open up and talk and discuss things.

 

You know? And I think it's come a long way, you know, since we were younger, especially I remember growing up, mental health was kind of a a stigma.

 

It was, you know, something that if you had issues with mental health, you know, don't don't go around that person. Don't associate because you don't wanna be seen as as having issues. And now it's completely opposite.

 

You know, everybody is looking for treatment and looking for therapy and help and just being more open and accepting of of understanding that everyone has issues It just depends on how they deal with it not big or small, maybe.

 

Oh, sure. Yeah. And it's definitely relative to each person, but it is interesting to see that despite all those would you call them Nuance differences or or unique variables?

 

The constant is that everybody has some mission Everybody's got something they can contribute.

 

Everybody has an individual perspective. You know, there's there's still at least those commonalities. Let alone possibly even shared values, which actually actually brings me right into this next piece.

 

Let's let's talk about some of your values a little bit. That's that's the whole reason why we're here. Like I mentioned earlier, we've got core values here in January, but there are a few that you wanna cover.

 

So let's let's start with you, man. What what type of values would you say have carried your perspective or your persona? Your character.

 

I would say that there's 2 defining values that I I typically run with on a day to day basis and that ever since I've kinda had the mind set of bettering myself or or being a positive influence in my family or or just to be a good person.

 

It's always been sacrifice and trust. For me, both of those are big, both of them weigh heavily on each other. You can't have 1 without their other or if do have 1 that influences the other.

 

Something that, you know, in my life is obviously my family and my children sacrificed. Right? Sure. I don't get to to go out Willie Nilly and and buy a a brand new motorcycle or buy a brand new car just because I want it.

 

I have to think, okay. What is What does this decision boil down to with everyone else? How does it involve everyone else?

 

If I go out and buy this, is is anyone else gonna suffer maybe I can't buy that new basketball outfit for my daughter for the season because now I've added, you know, there's a ton of money payment wise to the monthly bills, you know, Yeah.

 

And trust, they are trusting me that every sacrifice I make is in their best interest. And everything they do. I've thought through and and it's a it's a trust thing.

 

So That's kinda new. Really hit. That's gotta be difficult to explain. Your daughters are young or younger. Right? Yeah. My oldest is 12 and then I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old.

 

So my 12 year old, she she's getting there. Like, she she understands the social dynamic of trust, sacrifice, maybe not so much. Middle schoolers are a little selfish than they should be.

 

That's kinda the growth pattern of human development. You know? You kinda have to get that that really strong personality and and self worth in middle school, I feel like, in the age range.

 

Sure. And the second year old, my daughter, Layla, she's she's super smart, very empathetic she understands everything I tell her, or at least she lets me pretend what she does.

 

Yeah. Who's really got you? Yeah. She's just trusting on that intrinsic level. Like, you know, she really trusts everything I do or doesn't, but most of the times, though.

 

I mean, again, at least she lets you think which I guess is sort of the whole point of us growing up too, you know. My so my son's 7 now. And -- Uh-huh. -- I don't know if it's I don't have girls.

 

I don't know if it's that different raising boys versus girls, but I think I think sacrifice, especially well, I guess, especially in the military, whether you're active or reserves or you know, there's even people, and I'm sure you've met them if you can't attest in your own life.

 

At this point who, you know, they work 20 to 40 years in a job that they don't particularly enjoy just so they can make enough money to make ends meet and take care of their families.

 

Right. And and that's where they get self worth satisfaction from sacrificing their own desires.

 

Yeah. I think I think even well, like my my mom did she she got 2 master's degrees. She went and started her own company and did all sorts of other jobs throughout her life to this point.

 

But it wasn't really until my brothers and I actually moved and got out of the house that she started pursuing her own desires and things that she wanted to do.

 

Yeah. I I think sacrifice is important. I don't Why do you say that sacrifice supports trust though. That's interesting. I think where I'm leading into that is so sacrifice.

 

At least in my life, sacrifice supports trust in that if you love somebody, if you're in a relationship with somebody, if you're a working couple as far as I work with what you do, you work with what I do, we make joint decisions, everything is approached from a mindful point of view.

 

Sure. Average sacrifice make individually together has to involve trust.

 

Because you have to trust that whatever that other person is doing is going to benefit someone else or at the least thumbs up So, you know, every decision that I make, you know, I make a habit of reevaluating my life, my career path, my choices, every months.

 

I have it on the calendar that every 6 months, I I take a moment, I take a mindful moment. And I sit back and I think, am I doing the right thing? Am I moving in the right direction? Is this what I wanna be doing?

 

And if not, how can I fix it? How can I start to approach it in the next 6 months? So when I look back, then I have something, you know, to move forward from or move backwards from, maybe. How do you expect that?

 

I don't really. That's the funny thing is I the only thing I do is track the time. Oh. I track this it's only been 6 months. I feel like if I tracked anything further than that, it would be way too deep of a goal to attain.

 

I think it would just have so many bullet mix. Yeah. It would be like I was striving to to reach the moon with with no no theory of how general dynamics works or aeronautical anything.

 

Like, hey, I wanna go to the moon. And then 30 years later, well, I still wanna go to the moon and I have all these things that I need to be but I have no knowledge, you know.

 

Yeah. But, you know, to the trust thing is as my wife knows that every 6 months I evaluate these things. And she'll approach me, say, hey, how how we how we moving on our path?

 

And I'm like, well, we're doing in my eyes, we're doing pretty good. How do you feel about it? And, you know, she'll tell me how she feels about it and we'll we'll adjust our lives to push in a better direction.

 

Even if it seems really good, they can always be better as far as the direction drive on it. Yeah. So that kinda relates heavily, I think. Yeah. I like that.

 

I mean, just the communication piece alone like we just talked about is important in any kind of relationship, whether it's romantic and platonic or friends or between siblings or parents or children, whatever kind of relationship, coworkers, whatever.

 

Yeah. Communication is key, but especially when you're married to somebody. It's it's difficult.

 

You know, there's A0I wish I could remember now. I think it's there's a book. I think it's called I think it's called thank you for arguing. And III wish I realized I was gonna bring this up and I looked up the author if I did.

 

But But anyway, this is sort of where the conversations stem from the other day with the ancient Greek literature piece. What we were talking about was the art of rhetoric. And how it's not specifically about what's the word?

 

How it's not specifically about persuading people, to agree with you as much as it is getting people to see a common point of reference in your point of view. And and then they, you know, do with it what they will.

 

He talked about it was either That come. Go ahead. I don't mean an apology, but that could almost be referenced as agreeing to disagree. Sure. It's kind of the same thing, which I I feel like a lot of people struggle Right.

 

But that's the thing about sacrifice that you talked about earlier. It doesn't always have to be physical, mental, emotional. It can be verbal too. And sometimes you just gotta concede your point and see to disagree.

 

And -- Right. -- and not always be so willing to press your point, you know. And 1 of the things, as an example, that got brought up in that book, he talked about rhetoric from the perspective of time, tense.

 

So, for example, if you come home and Gabby's in the kitchen, she's taking care of your 2 year old, like, let's run around.

 

Everybody's just chaos. Right? And you get home after a long day of whatever running errands bike riding whatever, but you're home.

 

Right? Yeah. And you come home at the end of the day, the trash in the kitchen needs taken out. She's overwhelmed and you walk in, but you're burnt out.

 

And so now you're already starting at different ends, and 1 of you has to 1 of you's gotta sacrifice a little bit of stability to to concede to the other, to be able to communicate effectively.

 

Right? But instead, she says something like, I just need your help.

 

Can you take the kids? For example, Usually, I've had a long day. I just need a second of myself. Let me take my boots off or whatever and then sure. Let me I'll take care of it. Right? Should you do this every day?

 

Why can't you just come in here and help me? Why does it have to always be what you wanna do first? Right. You're like, I I'm just trying to untie my shoes. Like, it's been a long day. I I don't know what I'll I'll said I'll help you.

 

Right? And then instantly, you can feel this argument starting to happen, you know? Well, the thing of the example is that she's talking about the past. Why does this have to happen all the time?

 

Why is it always this way and you're talking about the present. This is all I want right now. So you're already talking from different points of view and there's no real way to bridge the gap. As opposed to talking from a future tense.

 

Look, we both had a long day. In 5 minutes, I'll take the kids. You can go put your feet up, relax, take a bubble bath, whatever her thing is. Or how can we better come up with a solution. Right?

 

And so sometimes it's that compromise and that sort of sacrifice in communication as well that helps. I think especially in married relationships, that's just more the common by men, especially married relationships in the military.

 

Yeah. For just a little dynamic there that it it definitely changes the relationship whether it be for better or for worse, you deal with a lot Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. And I I think you're right.

 

In that regard, it does help to breed trust because the more you start to see somebody else's perspective, even a little bit, the the more generally speaking, you're able to, you know, identify with their point of view.

 

And and communicate and and build a better, stronger, more effective relationship. Yeah. Yeah. And even in work, you know, outside of know, romantic relationship work.

 

You have to have trust within your employees or or your subordinates or whoever's above you. Your boss has to be out of trust you're gonna do the right thing. Yeah. And it just works a lot better for everyone, you know.

 

You can still have a love of respect or a love even a level of disrespect, either up or down. But as long as you can trust that what you say is gonna happen or hope to trust that what you say is to happen.

 

You know, it it makes a big difference. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Now You I think you said you guys have been married for what It's been 8 years that we've been married. We were together a lot longer than that, Actually married 8 years.

 

Yeah. Okay. So you guys already had some sort of working foundation to come in with. Yeah. For sure. We actually met for first time when we were I was 11 and she was 9 or 12 or 10, something like that.

 

But we shared the same bus stop in the neighborhood. We we've known each other a long time. So trust has always been easy for us. We've never done each other wrong, so to speak, throughout the years.

 

We always had that that level of trust and respect. Even if we weren't together or we were just friends and, you know, always had each other's best interests in mind. Oh, sure. You can sit here if you want. Yeah. I remember that scene.

 

Yeah. Yeah. It's it's just the magic of the bus stop. Didn't even blast basically him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't quite as rested where I came from, but it was the same same thing. But Yeah. Yeah. No. That's that's good, man.

 

There's a lot of relationships that don't really last. People move away, friendships break down, people grow apart. So that alone says a lot. Which is pretty neat. Yeah. It's it's sort of more of a rarity I think now. Yeah.

 

And I've been in, you know, other relationships that were nowhere near that that, you know, try to to come in and develop this level of trust with somebody but something in their past or something they have a hard time dealing with or for example, didn't allow them to trust me even if I did nothing wrong.

 

So that was that was difficult for me. Yeah. So I've always tried to, you know, above that, but, you know, not everybody who has the same kind of mentality about it.

 

Yeah. No. That's that's a fact. I've met a handful of people sort of traveling around the world as well, where even complete strangers may seem to trust you more than people you've known for years in some cases.

 

Yep. Yeah. For sure. And the other way around it, it it really goes both ways.

 

But before we get into some of these other values and a little bit more of your perspective. Let's take a quick break for a minute, quick little commercial break, and then we'll be back.

 

Everybody, again, I'm Porter. We're talking about specifically, core values as it applies to Christian, his life, his perspective of sacrifice and trust.

 

And when we come back, we'll talk a little bit more about perseverance and ambition and reflection and and go from there. Alright. But, yeah, Christian, hold on for a second, and everybody else will be right back.

 

Okay. The Patriot empowerment is to is a veteran operating nonprofit. It seeks to help active duty military members transition into different spheres of the civilian sector.

 

Patriot empowerment Institute focuses on bringing the best out of transitioning service member through mentorship and detailed planning. Regarding that member's goals. By using a long term approach 2 years prior to EAS.

 

The Patreon empowerment Institute is able to leverage both time and resources. To increase the chances of a successful transition. Please visit patreon empowerment institute dot com for more information.

 

Alright, everybody. Again, welcome back to SD YT, the podcast. I'm Porter. I'm your host. And, again, we're talking this episode with Christian Mange out of Atlanta, Georgia, helicopter pilot former army aviation veteran.

 

More importantly, in my opinion, college buddy. So We're gonna catch up a little bit about some of the values that he's experienced. And again, if you're new to the podcast, welcome. If you're a continuing listener, welcome back.

 

This is now essentially part 2 of this episode, so don't forget, check back on part 1 if you're just joining in. But Alright. Christian, I I gotta know, man, over the last well, it's 20 22. Over the last 12 years, I suppose.

 

Almost 12 and a half now since I actually saw you in person. Let's let's let's talk about perseverance a little bit, man. How's your life been going different challenges? How have you incorporated perseverance.

 

Tell me a little bit. Yeah. It's been it's been a go for sure. Perseverance is is is a day to day thing for me. I mean, you know, whether it be focusing on that specifically or it's just kinda how I'm rolling through life, it's there.

 

You know, you when I know you when I knew you and we were close and friends and saw each other all the time passing by whatever the case may be, I was I was a free spirit, man.

 

I was I was out there and joking, and I loved every bit of life. And I still love every bit of life, but I was I was in it to win it in whatever the case was.

 

You know? I was motorcycle riding. I was going to school. I was I was riding. I was trying to get stuff published. That never came with anything. I was traveling, and I was doing all kinds of stuff, and I was just living my best life.

 

And and that's how I kinda was contradictory to do, you know. Like, I was getting ready to graduate and you know, things were kinda laying out for me.

 

You know, I was in a a pretty decent relationship at the time. And then that all started to really affect every other aspect of my life, you know, the relationship wasn't going too hot.

 

And I was I was really trying to push it. I was trying to, like, make this really fairytale life happened for me without knowing it, you know. Yeah. And it was just draining every bit of me.

 

You know? It really changed me, you know, towards the end there, my my senior year. I had to I had to step away from school and do online school because it it and pretty intense as far as trying to make things work with each other.

 

And perseverance was was kind of the only thing I could think about time was either, you know, persevering through school, persevering through life, persevering through physical goals, you know, I was I was getting kinda lazy and upset, you know, and didn't really understand why.

 

And then it changed a little bit more.

 

You know? Like, we we separated. We parted ways, and I I get a phone call saying that that I'm gonna have a a daughter by this person. This wasn't my my current wife Gabby, by the way, this is another relationship that I had.

 

So, you know, the the wrench in the works was real, and I and I understood I had a a huge change in my life about to happen. Oh, yeah. So, you know, I I stepped up and I I did what I thought was the best thing to do.

 

You know, I made it happen. I I left school. I decided, hey, what's the best way for me to be able to support my family? What what's gonna get me, like I said, the next 6 months.

 

Right? What's gonna get me through the next 6 months of my life was gonna get us through the next 12 months, 18 months, 24 months of our lives to where everything is gonna be going in a positive direction.

 

And that's where the army came about for me, joining the army. I was like, this isn't I've always wanted to serve my country. I was part of air force RTC program at USF. I was doing for a little while.

 

Didn't end up finishing that, kinda just At the time, I didn't mesh with the people I was there with, so it kinda put a poor taste in my mouth. Not that it was anything that's substance just didn't work well for me.

 

Sure. So anyway, you know, I decided, hey, let let me join the army and let me let me get a trade and let me get something that can can send my family in the right direction.

 

You know? And that's what I did, and it it was good. The training was great. I ended up traveling a little bit, but at the end of the day, the person I was in a relationship with, it didn't work out.

 

She decided that she wanted something different and where I was going wasn't where she wanted to go. Unfortunately, my daughter was stuck in the middle of all this. She was close to turning 2 at this point in time.

 

Yeah. Also, at the same time that I found out I was getting immediately deployed after training to Afghanistan for the first time. Mhmm. So that's something you're not sure how to think about till it happens to you.

 

You know, you can take people's word for how things are, but unless it happens to you, it's a little bit different So I persevered, you know, sticking to that value.

 

I reflected a little bit, and I decided, hey. I'm just gonna take light by the horns and and roll with it.

 

Just try to do the best I can, provide for my daughter, and and anything else that's gonna happen along the way. When I did, I did that, I came back and Gabby, who I had known as a childhood friend.

 

She had just finished up college in Virginia. And when I came home from Afghanistan, we rekindled and we kinda understood that life wasn't as good as it could be without each other.

 

So she helped me get my mental health back in line a little bit, a lot of bit, and we we went forward from there. You know? I ended up dicking with the military thing for quite a while.

 

She was by my side. We got married. We had 2 more beautiful children. And when I decided to exit the military, that's when that sacrifice and trust that we were talking about earlier was was key.

 

That was something you know, because in the military, you you're not quite given all of the the truth about what it's like when you get out.

 

You know, they wanna say they're helping you through it and they wanna give you all these classes and stuff, and that's wonderful, man.

 

It did help a lot. But you're not getting they want you to come back. You know, like any good company They wanna hold on to you. Yeah. They're they're gonna paint the picture like it's the world's gonna end if if you exit, you know.

 

And for some people it does, fortunately, that's just a personal thing. And that said. But so I was I was worried. I was scared. I was like, what's know, what's my life gonna look like? What's our life gonna look like?

 

We really had to talk about it and have that that trust that that everything's gonna be okay, and then I was gonna work hard, and she was gonna work hard, and And, you know, we did that, and we transitioned out.

 

And after doing everything I needed to do to keep my career going in the right direction, far as being a helicopter maintainer. Everything smoothed out and everything's been on the up and up ever since.

 

Man. It's been great. But I'm I'm telling you now if you ran into me on the street and I didn't have this face, you may not recognize who I am. I'm a whole another man.

 

When when you knew me, like you said, wheelie and down the road on a -- Yeah. -- on a little dirt bike through campus, you know. That's Van Wildder style living it up to to what I am now with the whole picket fence life kind of thing.

 

It's it's quite different. It's it's pretty crazy how quickly time goes. I was just talking to another buddy a couple nights ago, you know, just seeing how new years went and what they did. And he said, honestly, man, it was 09:30.

 

I was building a a little wooden model with my daughter. We're fixing to go to bed and then I realized it was a new year. That was the extent of it, and he's 28, you know, like this Yeah. I'm just trying to find It's funny.

 

That's good. Let's be value, you know. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. New years. We were in Virginia spending time with family, but my youngest daughter, Olivia, she's 2. She doesn't quite under understand the the real concept a countdown.

 

You know? So we're up there and and also you can talk about the whole drive through Virginia is the countdown to countdown. And she's saying, 10, 8, 09:10, 8. So we get there and and we know she's not gonna make it till midnight.

 

So so we go to a previous recording on YouTube, and we all a countdown at, like, 09:00PM, and we all get into it. The whole family doesn't sit down and we cheered some other thing. And and she was convinced and she went sleep.

 

That that that was funny, but, you know, had to figure out a way for her to enjoy it, basically. Oh, that's cool, man. I'm I'm glad that you guys are carrying stuff through traditions like that.

 

You know, there's a lot of times when you get younger kids that just don't really understand or grasp right now just because of their age that certain topics and things throughout life till they get older at least.

 

So trying to find a way to rope kids in and get through that hurdle as well.

 

Frankly, in my opinion, takes a little bit of sacrifice of your time and energy to figure out how to reach them. And how to make something stick as well. So that's cool.

 

That that's definitely a special level of creativity, I think, in some cases. Yeah. For sure. Because what may reach them may not have been what reached you or vice versa when you're approaching a situation with your kids.

 

You know, oh, I didn't I didn't really remember it that way or I didn't learn it that way, but they might. That's man. That's huge. Yeah. That's huge.

 

And then if issues happen with your kids to your kids on behalf of your kids, not masking your emotions or your responses, as those events happen to you as a kid, as you try to explain life and circumstances to your kids is is tricky too.

 

Yeah. I guess it goes both ways, you know, how they're willing to learn and able to communicate is not necessarily how you were Even if in some cases you look the same, you know.

 

Alright. And age appropriate transparency is is key as well, you know. Kids are gonna in my, you know, situation that I've learned is kids are gonna make their own truth of whatever hear or whatever they're told.

 

Sure. If they accept what you tell them for truth they're going to. If they don't want to, they're not going to.

 

And you just have to hope that you've guided him in the right direction to to discern what, you know, what what leads them to belief that you know? I mean, that's the whole reason we've got value systems, frankly.

 

In my opinion, at least. I think the difficulty is identifying really what your values are, which just so happens to be what we're talking about if you just joined into the podcast.

 

But But that is something that I think I think it's an underrated skill set, introspection, in general.

 

But if you're not explicitly talking about values, you may not realize either what values are, what yours are, what you stand for, or or any of those really.

 

So, yeah, definitely carries a lot of weight. And and again, just to put it out there since we're talking about it, I appreciate you taking a second to to sit in and talk about some of yours.

 

For the record. Oh, no. Absolutely. This has been a long time coming. I'm very happy to be chatting with you. Yeah. Yeah. I agree.

 

Some of the things that you brought up though when you were you're talking about in in your previous relationship, when you said you were an ex aspiring writer, I assume Hemingway wasn't your style at the time, probably like lyrics or something.

 

Right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've always when you mentioned philosophy earlier, you know, I like a little bit of mystery there. You know? I like I like poetry.

 

I like saying something without saying something. Giving giving someone something to think about that's gonna help them or even help you as you're writing it, generate a different thought than what you were going for.

 

1 of 1 of the classes I took in in high school, actually, was creative writing. My my teacher was just the best person alive and heard I still communicate.

 

And she communicates with my wife, my kids, all that stuff. But she was really big on just being you and you could you know, when you have these activities in class, everyone everyone's chosen the class to to read a special excerpt.

 

Right? Now that we're gonna read this written by this person, everybody's gonna take a turn.

 

And every person that read it sounded completely different. They're inflections the the emphasis they're putting on certain words or certain meanings, and nothing's to say that any of it was right or wrong.

 

It wasn't necessary intention of who wrote it, the author, or the teacher in how she wanted it to be perceived because you're dealing with adolescent mind versus adult mind and all that sort of thing and life experience.

 

But just to know that there's so many different ways of doing the same thing, I think, is is is what values really are.

 

Right? Because everyone has their own. Everyone understands the definition of what they are, everybody treats it and lives with it in a whole a whole different way.

 

Oh, definitely. You know, I had a little bit of time, I guess, I put into the theater department and musical theater there at school as well.

 

I think there's a definite reason they assigned me to work on the sets and took me off the stage. But whatever, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but either way yeah.

 

And 1 of the things that had taught me there. Right? We would have different opportunities to work on improv. Some of it was just because it was a lot of creative minded people.

 

But some of it was also because it gave well, the actors, the stage actors, the ability to develop how to think better on their feet, if mistakes were made or character development before a show went on, whatever, plus.

 

And it's funny you bring up in creative writing the ability to read a passage and just be you. But what if you don't know who that is, you know?

 

We spend we spend so much time as people living almost in this third person reality where we're trying to build and design and develop this image of who we want people to see us as whether it's a digital persona now, especially, or an actual physical facade that we're putting up or I guess just metaphorical facade we're putting up or physical image, you know, that we're we're trying to change people's perception of us that now in this information space, taking into account this entire digital overhaul, you're almost maintaining it's not necessarily in my opinion, 2 personalities, but it's 2 versions of you simultaneously.

 

Yeah. Yeah. That's what you walk people to see of you and what people actually see you. Yeah.

 

But if you don't necessarily know what it is who you are, maybe your the legacy that you've received or the values that your family has taught you, the traditions, the heritage, things that have been already imbued in your life as you've grown up whatever age applies at that moment.

 

How do you in in your perspective? How do you become you, how do you identify who you are? How how did you do it? Well, it's a work in progress. That's sure.

 

It's funny you mentioned that though because I was just talking about this today with my wife and then another friend of mine last night on how Develop developing the suspense of yourself and being mindful and living your life to its fullest and completeness, its whole self.

 

Yeah. That's a human a human value. Right? You talk about spirituality, you talk about human wholesome values, that's human.

 

And for me, getting in touch with my human side is, you know, it's looking in the mirror. It's understanding that everything that I do, someone else is seen.

 

Someone else is taking their own assumption and from it and putting it back out in their own world. So how do I want other people to see me? What did I care? Per se, what other people think and and what they see?

 

Like, I'm I'm still gonna continue to do things certain ways or, you know, I have my own views on things. Right? But I don't don't want people to look at me and say, man, what's this guy's deal?

 

Or, hey, what's what's he doing? Why is he thinking that we're or man, he's not a very good person. Why does he feel this way? What is he what is he doing?

 

I want people to look at me, and that's how I I reflect on it. Right? I want people look at me and say, or even have the thought as they're passing me by in the street, there's something about that guy that makes me Mhmm.

 

When I look as person, I can see that he's genuinely happy. And I don't know what that is yet. I'm trying to express it in a little bit in in what I wear. Right? I'm trying to just wear what makes me comfortable.

 

And when you wear something that's comfortable, you carry yourself differently. If you're all tight and tensed up from wearing something you don't like, you're not gonna walk around happy. Sure. People can tell when you want confidence.

 

So that's a start. And I was like, okay. I'll start there. Like today, for example. And you may catch their attention because you may be wearing something that doesn't quite look right, you know.

 

Yeah. And they're like, what on there? Is that guy wearing? And then the a person next to them and say, wow. He looks happy to look at that guy.

 

He must be well, Hannah? Yeah. It's like I was wearing some tall skater socks and some crocs because they were comfy, you know, with a hoodie and a a fitted baseball hats and oakley sunglasses and a fanny pack.

 

Maze. Maze it. I'm not like a a sight to see walking through a couple places that I was going through, you know.

 

Yeah. But, yeah, for me, that's that's how I started is what do other people see? And how can I how can I bring them up with me? How can I get them to think about it the way I'm thinking about it?

 

Even though that might not be the right way, but it it's it's mindful. It's thinking about it and not ignoring it. Well, it's that level of critical thought, at least to a certain in-depth that -- Yeah.

 

-- gives you those inferences, your ability to be confident. Yeah. I think it's a great place to start to, but But being it sounds kinda heavy, I guess, in a little bit more more zen than it needs to.

 

But but being at peace with yourself, is comfortable in your own skin, I guess, is a better way to say it. And helps, you know. Like, So, okay, same sort of exam. I'm not a Fanny pack guy.

 

I I don't understand the rage, whatever. I just prefer pockets and I'm cool with that. I'll be the outlier, I guess. But either way, so for the holidays recently, my son we we had a this was our first Thai Dying experience.

 

Beans. Right? That's always fun. Yeah. Well, yeah. It was actually, I think only the second time I've tied out anything in my life.

 

And the the maybe quantifiable, like, partial third time is when my pen exploded in my pocket. So it was totally accidental. Okay. Yeah. So this time though, we had long johns. Right? And -- Yep. -- first off, We're we're in Florida.

 

So maybe maybe it was just Carmically the wrong decision. But either way, we had long johns. Right? And so we started to put dye on them after we rolled them up and and rubber banded them and whatever. We started to put dye on them.

 

And we picked out our colors and tried to put them on, and then found out that these long johns were water repellant. And so Yeah. So now, you know, we're we're trying to recover this bonding moment and and this memory in the making.

 

Luckily, we got everything soaked. And then pulled it out, wrung it out, and it was wet enough to absorb some ink. Well Yeah. So his turned out pretty cool.

 

He had yellows and greens and purple, so then some brown spots. And, you know, whatever. Not ideal for pants, but the shirt looks cool too. And the the 1 that I forgot, I told him I would wear it once it dried.

 

Right? So I wore it to work today. It's it's pink, yellow, and orange, which -- Nice. -- yeah. Yeah. But like, I don't know if you can see in this video screen, I've got you on, but it's pretty pink now that it's dried. Yeah.

 

I I can see a little pink. Here you go. On there on your elbow. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, so I brought into work in the first couple of people, the the usual sort of comments, Like man who did you get dressed in the dark type comments?

 

Right. You know, did you not know? And it's it's at that moment you sort of have to assess like I can play along and laugh it off. But Like, who who do I want to be at the end of the day, metaphorically or actually?

 

Who do I wanna be? And and who am I gonna be comfortable with when I look back and remember this conversation or these jokes, what did I stand by? Right? And to me, I value honesty. So so I I said no. It was it was tired of dying.

 

This was a conscious decision and now I'm wearing it because I said I would, you know. And then everybody left it alone. But but it's even little minutiae like that throughout the day or like you walking in your crocs and fanny pack.

 

You know, or addressing whatever issues or scenarios come up throughout the day that, yeah, you gotta you gotta find a way for you that gives you the ability to have some peace of mind and and and I think that sort of reciprocates confidence.

 

And then you can use that to build on from there. And I think that's a great start. I I agree though.

 

I think it's more of a work in progress than I gave it credit for. That's that's a solid point for sure. It's it's always a work in progress because that's just that's a drop in the bucket when it comes to, you know, living your life.

 

You know? I mean, I'm you know, there are times when I'm laying in bed and at the end of the night reflecting on my entire life, you know, and that's that's just as important.

 

Or when I'm in the garage, wrenching on my jeep, and I gotta take a minute just to to go and meditate in the corner for a few minutes and and really dig deep for something I had no idea I was even thinking about. Yeah.

 

You catch that wrench on your knuckles 1 time. Man, you meditate hard, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. 1 cotter pin cut to the wrist, that'll do it. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yep. I had my my thumb with a it was mini sledge hammer.

 

I was trying to make some cut up some wood for a fire my dad wanted to have and and so I was trying to cut up some not big logs, but, you know, into little smaller pieces and I had a axe head with no handles so that I had a mini sledge I was tapping the axe head with.

 

Oh, wow. Yeah. Naturally lost focus. Right down on my thumb, man. I was that was some pretty severe meditation. I'll tell you what.

 

Being unconscious. Yeah. Because I'm blah blah. Either way. Yeah. Oh, man. Alright. Let's let's take a quick break though. We'll come back for our our last segment here. If you're just joining the podcast, I'm Porter.

 

I'm your host. We're talking about We're talking about all kinds of stuff. Man, sacrifice and trust, perseverance, reflection, little bit of ambition thrown in there. With Christian Mange, we'll be back here in a couple minutes.

 

Christian sit tight, brother. Yep. Alright. Hey everybody. This is Porter with SD YT the podcast. We're talking about spending time with your family and even remembering loved ones, maybe when you can't be there.

 

I'd like to pass to Mike for a second over to my buddy Dax, and he's gonna talk about the be and the bear create That's BEE and the BEARB and the bear creations.

 

Text? Hey, everyone. It's Stack's here. I just wanted to take a moment and give a shout out to my wife, Julie. She is artists of sorts, but she has a Facebook page called the bee and the Bear creations.

 

And what that page is for is basically if you wanted to do specialized item like a tumbler or a hat or a vinyl or a decal or a shirt, you can go there.

 

You can ask some questions, look through the wares, but then give a DM and try to sort it out. And then work it pricing. But if you're interested something like that, go ahead like her page.

 

It's the b and the bear creations on Facebook. So Go enjoy. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to SD YT, the podcast. I'm Porter. I'm your host, and we're here talking to Christian Mange. All about January core values.

 

We're talking ambition, perseverance, and reflection, but then also the role and the inherent value that sacrifice and trust have had in his life and in the character that he's developed throughout his life as well.

 

So again, if you're just joining us, that's what you've missed so far. Continuing listeners, welcome back. Christian, welcome back. And let's let's let's jump back into this, man.

 

1 of the last pieces we touched on in this other part was reflecting back on your life, not just 6 months at a time, but overall, you know, the decisions you've made, who you've become as a man, what you've been able accomplish and and where you want it to go.

 

And obviously for our Christmas special, we talked a little bit about things you're thankful for and and what the holiday season means to you as well, which obviously involved family pretty directly too.

 

But 1 of the things I think is pretty interested in trusted leadership. It's not about giving wealth or an inheritance to future generations.

 

It's about passing a value system to future generations so that whatever they get as an inheritance, whether it's information, and it's a legacy, it's a job, it's a business, it's income.

 

They're more likely to handle it responsibly or whatever that means for for your family values, response ability at that point.

 

And and I think it brings up an interesting point talking about reflection here, and I and I suppose ambition to a point, passing the torch.

 

Right, to future generations. And now, here in 20 22, future generations don't have to be kids. Future generations could also be the digital you that outlives your physical you.

 

It's it's crazy in this sort of hybrid environment we've got now that that's a thing, but Christian, you're you're a cyborg. Man, you've got a digital presence that you can control and automate your life.

 

Right? Even now in this moment. Yeah. It's crazy. And and I I guess to a point now, I feel like we're dating ourselves. And and we're on some like weird sixties first radio show or something, but but it is.

 

It's pretty crazy. Right? Podcasting is not new. Having a social media profile is not new. Apple iPhone. Right? That's Apple iPhone. Just let's call it an iPhone. That's not new. Right?

 

Like, But at digital presence. Right? Like, the myspace, the Internet, ARpanet, all these things, it's not new, but the concept, I think, of having a cyber you actually or something you fabricate and it's totally unrelated to you.

 

But you know, a cyber you is going to some level degree in scale, outlive your physical persona.

 

I think the important piece here is it doesn't have to outlive your sense of self, your value system, and you can still imbue that even in a digital space.

 

How do you, in your experience, in your perspective, Christian? How do you sort of pass that torch then to that future gender from the physical you to the digital you to keep your value system growing and and perpetuating itself.

 

It's a tough 1 because it's changed over the last 2 decades from being a digital you to a cyber you. Like you were saying before, it was I can only do recordings of myself.

 

Someone can only have a recording with me, and that's pretty much where it stopped. Didn't have a way to upload these things. You didn't have YouTube. You didn't have alright.

 

It may have listed, but the general person didn't have access. Right? I mean, you need access to these sites. Sure. So now it's it's it's not only what you're recording of me. It's everything that I'm saying on social media.

 

It's everything that people are recording of me in the background when I I don't necessarily know I'm there. But now they're live video is is displaying me doing something, you know, good or bad or indifferent.

 

So leaving, you know, leaving a legacy through a cyber self, it has to be very calculated. You have to always be just of of how you're presenting your actual stuff because you never know who's gonna be watching.

 

It could be a surveillance camera. It could be someone filming a TikTok and you happen to be in the background, which is probably a lot of the case most of the times.

 

Or, you know, you're in a baseball game and you're on the kiss cam. Know, all this stuff is uploaded in there forever. It's no longer just gonna disappear over time. It's it's gonna be there.

 

So for me, like we were talking about earlier with the confidence and really, not necessarily confidence, but just the acknowledgement of how people see you is just just that is always acknowledged that someone is watching you that your children, it's your parents, it's your friends, who do you wanna be remembered as?

 

Who who do you wanna be seen as on screen or on a digital platform? And be remembered as. Yeah. Like, it's that simple for me when, you know, I want to leave a legacy to my children of kindness.

 

That's that's what pops into my head immediately. Kindness. Yeah. When I want them to think of me when I'm dead and gone or whoever to think of me, he was kind.

 

He took everything that someone said into consideration before he responded, verbally online or whatever and acted appropriately from the information he was given.

 

That's that's pretty much what it boils down So so if if you look me up and no.

 

I can't speak for everything from the past, you know, you make different system growing up throughout life and like, man, I wish had done that and not running for president, so nobody's ever gonna look.

 

Right? But Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Right? It's like, do you wanna be remembered? You know? Who who who do you wanna be for the rest of forever? That's right, man. And and here's here's the crazy thing. Here's crazy thing.

 

Christian March 20 22, you're turning 35 and that means you can be elected president if you want. Yeah. Well, hey, what's to say? But no, man, I I get your point and it's I mean, then there's 3 more values right there.

 

Right? We're talking compassion, consideration, kindness, fairness. These these are all other values that you can embody as well. It doesn't just have to be 1 particular thing. And the cool thing is Yeah. You're totally right.

 

It can evolve as you grow. And to a certain degree though, here's here's the thing that I think is is pretty interesting. We started like us, our our generation, basically, the nineties kids, the late eighties kids.

 

We started our kids in cyberspace, like like, sure we we burst them here on earth, but we burst them in I don't even know what's in the Internet, you know.

 

Like, we we made their their cyber selves. Starting with pregnancy photos and then birth pictures and the the June here's the thing. Nervana's CD with the naked baby swimming in the pool.

 

I don't know if you remember that or ever saw it. Yeah. It's a bunch of like attention recently. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He tried to sue for exposure. Yeah. What about every social media profile when they get baby pictures.

 

Right? Right? Like now, I mean, aside from statues and limitations, I suppose, Now that's no different. The CD cover to these, you know, Instagram photos, babies crying as they get wrapped up or just born or or, you know, whatever.

 

Like, And there's all sorts of crazy things, but that starts these kids, specifically, in this example, that starts these kids cyber personas that they actually don't have control over.

 

We're not talking credit scores and credit reports.

 

We're not talking bank accounts and medical records. Right? We're talking their cyber selves. And so when they grow up, can't backtrack and say, oh, man, that's embarrassing. I hope that doesn't turn into a high school graduation photo.

 

It will. Yeah. It will, for sure. Right now, But The longer is the longer gonna be, that's where it stops. Yeah. You know? Well, that's the thing. But I follow you for everything.

 

The flip side to that is they have so much more time to cultivate who they want to become or or the the character of their character digitally maybe, it's a what do you what do you call them, like, on Roblox or whatever?

 

Like, you know, you got a shiba inu head -- Oh, okay. -- black week avatar. Yeah. Whether it's their avatar or whether it's them in their social media profile, but it's coming. And -- Yeah. Yeah.

 

-- you know, so us as parents, grandparents, peers, whatever, I think encouraging that concept of a value system and and responsibility. And, like, that's now more directly our role than it has been technically speaking beforehand.

 

Because our our cyber selves are gonna outlast our current generation no matter what. Yeah. You know, 1 thing I'm always telling my kids is is Be mindfully transparent with who you are.

 

What does that mean? Be be your absolute self. Right? Transparent he always I tell people all the time. I'm the same person at work, at home, at school, wherever. I'm the same me. You'll never get a different person. Oh, I see.

 

So I tell, like, be, you know, be mindfully transparent. So be yourself in everything that that means and that you've been able to develop, yet understand you know, on the mindful side that it's someone else's interpretation. Yeah.

 

So you have to you have to you have to be kind, you have to be truthful, and all this other stuff we've been talking about, because that is your how you're presented to others, whether it be in person or digitally with a platform, you know.

 

I hear this complete you know, in total jerk online, and then they meet you in person, like, oh, you're actually a really nice person. It's like, well, what purpose did that serve?

 

Is that is that being a genuine person? Is that something you just enjoy getting fun out of? Or that's fine. But is that is that who you are as a person? Do you and then do you do that in other aspects your life's probably not.

 

Yeah. No. Obviously, there's a a threshold here too. Right? You can't be nice to everybody. Sometimes you have an off day or rough morning, whatever things happened interactions get misinterpreted.

 

Who knows? There's all sorts of variables. It's the human dimension, but I talked to a guy earlier today he said he finds strength in himself by relying on his family.

 

Similar to what you're saying, but like growing up as a kid physically relying on his family, you know, other other kids, he said, would make fun of him and bully him as a kid.

 

He would talk a little bit slower just because of his background and sort of cultural nuances, not like disabilities.

 

He would just he would just talk slower than the people he was around. But he was also a bigger it. You know? So then he was the dopey giant growing up and compared to his other friends.

 

And so he would go home and cry and get depressed and his parents would say we'll support you like you're fine. You're you. They're them. They can't judge you because they don't know you, you know you.

 

You know, type familial support, like bolstering their ego and and esteem and and whatever. And and now, he's in his mid twenties. This dude is active duty in the military and fully able to integrate into society.

 

He's not sociopathic or anything crazy. He's actually making something of his life, in spite of being bullied, in spite of being sort of mentally emotionally broken down as a kid.

 

Because it's okay. His parents taught him values and and how to critically evaluate and define himself as a person, to the point where sure you have to face adversity, but you have to understand conflict resolution.

 

And that doesn't always mean an argument like in your case, in that example, Gabby in the kitchen trash can or not not in the kitchen trash and the kitchen trash can.

 

And and, you know, whether it's that type of conflict or or full scale war, you know, country to country.

 

It could also be kids and it's bullying or you in your head beating yourself up over something, that being able to resolve those conflicts to certain degrees, takes a lot of mental effort and energy.

 

And wherever you get your strength from, at the very least, more often than not, it comes down to some semblance of a value system. Whether or not you realize it, at least I think that's where it starts.

 

And and coming from you, and people like us recognizing that, communicating that and and saying that it's okay to communicate those things. It doesn't make you any softer than wearing this pink shirt does in public.

 

Yeah. You know, so it's the Fanny pack methodology. And I think I think that that's cool and I think that's okay, but it's it's definitely gotta start somewhere, man.

 

Look, I don't wanna take up much more of your evening I know you're you're back on your rotation here shortly, so take all the time you can to spend it with your family.

 

But I I really do appreciate you coming in to to talk about this a little bit. And I I like that it kinda sorta came full circle from being mindfully transparent as a a cyberspace Christian Monde.

 

All the way back to just being you in creative writing and reading a a passage, you know, or writing poetry that I I think it's cool.

 

But I do appreciate it, man. Thanks a lot. Well, it's my pleasure, man. I enjoyed every bit of it. I hope we anymore.

 

We definitely can. The whole year is blocked out. We can talk more in the future and we'll figure out how to book it. But But, no, so thank you very much. I appreciate it, and we'll stay in touch to everybody listening.

 

This is based around January core values. We're talking about in 20 22, the character of your character real people, real values, real perspectives. I'm Porter. I'm your host, and this was SD YT the podcast.

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Christian Monge

Helicopter Mechanic, Veteran, Father