It does take an effort to awake yourself from that or, like, paddle against the current or against the mainstream to get to where you wanna be.

Does that take some strength of character because, yeah, it's not always going along with the popular kids. Right?

How many movies are coming of age movies? Like, that's literally the plot of it is someone has been going along with the popular kids to do something they knew was wrong and somehow finds the strength to, like, stand up for what Right.

Alrighty folks. Welcome back to transacting value where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values. Our theme for 20 22 is the character of your character.

So, who you see when you look your values in the mirror? TODAY, WE'RE TALKING OUR SEPTEMBER COR VAL VALUES OF FORGIVNESS, HUMILITY AND SECRIFICE WITH AUTHOR Impact investor, and philanthropist, Ms.

Sharon Schneider. Now, to everybody listening, if you're new to the podcast, welcome, and if you're a continuing listener, welcome back.

Without further ado, folks, I'm Porter, I'm your host, and this is transacting value. Alright, Sharon. How you doing? How's it going?

Great. How are you? I'm doing well. I appreciate you being able to make some time so we can sit down and talk. It's been a busy couple weeks. Yeah. It's my pleasure, though. I'm thrilled to be here. Yeah. No problem at all.

And I gotta say, we're gonna dive into it a little bit for all of our listeners, but I read a little bit of your book, and you've got a lot of killer points. So I secondly wanna say, I'm glad you gave us an hour to talk about it.

Awesome. Well, I finally only takes an hour to read. I'm told it's a really quick read, though, I hope there are a lot of killer points in a really short period of time.

Yeah. It was good. Before we get to your book and before we get to some other questions or information or just talking let's work some relatability. So for everybody listening, who are you?

What's your background? How did your life form to become your perspective? Who who are you? Yeah. Well, I'm from Ohio. And I went to college there and then moved to Philadelphia and started in philanthropy pretty young.

Normally people have a career elsewhere and then become a gradmaker, you know, later after an original career benefits is not usually your first title, but I was lucky enough to fall into an internship and get hired as a future andable trust which is like a really big foundation in Philadelphia.

And like many people, it's the late nineties. So like many people, I started saying, wow, we're giving away 5 percent of our assets every year in grants, that's amazing. We're doing wonderful work.

What are we doing with the 95 percent? Like, what's the rest of that doing? And when a lot of people started to ask these questions of a lot of foundations, a lot of times the answer was, actually, it's not working with our 5 percent.

It's kinda working against our 5 percent. And then for me, the next question was and wait, by the way, how'd you make the money -- Yeah. -- that you put into this foundation of which 5 percent you give away?

And so those fields which came to be known as impact investing about the 95 percent and then social enterprise about how are you earning the money in the first place, really kind of guided my trajectory from there.

And I worked with lots of foundations big and small, so cues I mentioned with Billamore the Gates Foundation.

I was a consultant there. And I I worked with dozens of family foundations helping the family kind of figure out what they wanted to accomplish.

With their philanthropy. And then I got really attracted to this idea of the business being part of the solution, and I started a for profit, what we call, a social enterprise, with a tech startup.

We went through Techstars, raised a couple rounds of venture capital, scaled, sold the business.

So that was a whole new area of my life, and again adding a skill and a new experience, a new tool to my toolbox of having done direct deals, and and then an entrepreneur and an operator.

And when I sold that, then wanted to use all of the above, and that's when I was recruited by the Walton family.

That's how I got to Denver, so that's where I live now. To help their family members that wanted to, yeah, integrate their impact intentions across their entire enterprise.

Foundation and investment portfolio and operating business. So really this idea of integrating your values and not to say, well, that only applies to the 5 percent where I write a check to charity.

That's the consulting work I still do today. And for me, the book was taking that same concept of bringing it down to know, people like me, people with a lot fewer zeros in our household.

But actually, still, if you count everything from your mortgage, and your phone bill, and your food, and your gas, and your clothing, and now still tens of thousands of dollars moving through your household Sure.

Every year. And so really, the I've vlogged for a lot of years. It's called the philanthropic family, and that's where I developed some of these ideas about, you know, how do you activate than 95 percent in your own life.

Not just financial, but your social network, your skills, your professional life, your time, all of those components And that's been my journey.

Just kind of trying to incrementally get closer to that alignment between my life and between the person I aspire to be. Yeah. Well, I mean, that kind of alignment, that sort of, I guess, optimal point of efficiency.

Right? How you spend your time, allocate your money, your resources, your energy, your yourself, even maybe how you think and view in your perspective can't happen overnight. Right? So how do you learn to balance those things?

Where do you start? Yeah. It can be overwhelming too to imagine. Right? It's sort of like when they say, you know, if you go on a drastic diet, you can do for 2 weeks and maybe can't maintain it for life.

I think it's similar in that what I'm a big proponent of of just keep taking baby steps in the right direction, but keep taking steps So the book is 7 principles to lead an integrated life, and then the second half is applying it to different areas like food and clothing, and celebrations, and money.

So the second principle is embrace yes, and. Yes, and is the idea of, let's celebrate, like, find something you're doing now. Like, maybe you take your reusable bags to the grocery store, and you're really good about doing that.

And what's the next step that you could take? You know, for me, it was I was still taking my produce and putting those little thin plastic bags and then putting all those thin plastic bags into my you know, grocery bag.

And so I was like, okay, maybe I can replace that same little plastic bag with some mesh grocery bag And that's the next step.

And then I started to look at the other things in my cart. And so, you know, it's just a gradual process of saying, okay, I feel good about that thing I'm doing.

That makes me feel being good and aligned. What's the next thing that I can do? And just keep making progress as long as you're moving for Okay.

Well, you just said to make you feel good or aligned with what? What's the baseline? You're like, oh, well, this is a good decision in the moment, but good compared to How do you determine those things?

Great question. I think everybody maybe answers it for themselves. But for me, my basic fundamental value that drives this kind of decision making is what I call shared prosperity.

So the idea is is that I want my family to be healthy and happy and I want your family to be healthy and happy. And I want the people that grow our food and teach our kids that work in our stores.

Yeah. I want them to be healthy and happy too. And yet, if you're just floating along on mainstream American culture, doing what seems normal, that is not what you are promoting, shared gruffees.

Is very much the standard, the modus operandi is extract extract for yourself. You know, maximize everything for yourself. Get over, get what you can, and then someday in the future you can get back.

That extraction is what's causing the problems in the first place. For me, bringing a lens of shared prosperity with my neighbors, with my community, with the environment, the rest of the world, is my north star.

That's what I you know, the title of the book of a practical guide to aligning your everyday choices with your internal compass That is my internal Compass. It's like, that's my north star, the idea of shared prosperity for all of us.

I think it's interesting bring that up especially because well, we're on a podcast that in trying to, I guess, instigate these new perspectives and educate these new angle and aspects of people's thought and communication to make any inroads and positively influence that socially through a medium like podcasting is sort of exemplifying the same principle of we're trying to share this prosperity, this this this positive outlook and perspective and and paying attention to what you're trying to accomplish.

But I think moreover, specific now to well, my podcast, what you're describing sounds an awful lot like you gotta know yourself, your values, your character, to better guide your strategy for how you wanna live your life.

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I look forward to helping you create your custom item. What you're describing sounds an awful lot like you gotta know yourself your values your character to better guide your strategy for how you wanna live your life.

Am I close? I think so. I mean, the thing is, I I don't think it's that hard. You know, people talk about about, like, figuring out your own values. It's like, well, how many variations are there that are still, like, good?

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's still a good human being. Like, don't know. That's another way I could say it is I just from trying to be a good human being and that means taking to account other people's lives and feelings.

And so you know, if that takes a lot of deep introspection, I I mean, do it. But I guess it's what feels to me like, you know, kind of obvious.

Okay. Well, then let me clarify a little bit. So I saw this video the other day actually, and he was talking about how China has the rights to the source code for every that rolls through TikTok. And factor fiction, I don't know.

These are his points. Right? So I'm just gonna parrot what he said. And he mentioned that so because of that, All the information, all the recommended videos, all your likes, whatever preferences apply in China.

To anybody watching on TikTok whatever video clips there are is the advent of let's call it social prosperity, increasing merit and morals and productive youth upbringing and youth success and economic benefit and math classes and technology and things to all things considered benefit a society positively and progressively.

Whereas everybody else around the world sees a feed on TikTok of working and pranks and jokes and things that don't necessarily progress society in a relatively competitive direction.

It's interesting that you just brought up the fact that it it really should be more common sense. But is it really?

If it's not actually discussed popularly, or mass marketed as this is really all it takes to be a good dude or grow into being a good person or being socially responsible like, hold the door open for somebody if their hands are full and say, thank you, when you're done.

Okay. Cool. But if nobody's told you, how do you know? If you don't hear it as you're growing up and it's not part of your sphere of influence or social circle, that trivially, or otherwise, well, then, is it really that common?

Yeah. There's a lot to unpack there. If something is free to you, then you are the product. Yeah. Since people often don't understand that about social media. You are the product that is being sold. I mean, we think we do more now.

We think that's really good years ago. And, you know, frankly, for me personally, I left Facebook and social media largely after the Cambridge Analytica became the light of exactly what they were doing with that data.

And I think there's a lot there about profit motive exploiting human curiosity or human weakness or human foibles what's the saying about corporations and sociopaths.

Right? They literally only consider their own interests, and that's the result of what you get. But I think you know, maybe it's not obvious, but like I'm also the kind of person that.

I don't laugh at the videos of someone getting hurt in a funny way. Like, it's just never gonna be funny to me know, when you fall off the roof because you were doing something stupid, it's like, oh my god.

Are you so I I think we are trained. I think your point is is that we are TRRAINED BY OUR ENVIREMENT ABOUT WHAT IS GOOD, WHAT IS FUNY, WHAT IS INTERTAINMENT.

Reporter: WELL, IT'S FEED BANK, RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT YOU HEAR the people you're around or friends on social media or whatever applies there.

Yeah. Yeah. And and so then what I would say too is that people in other interviews have asked me like, do you think you're normal?

Do you think that other people are like you and, you know, think the way that you do or like are more people watching the Kardashians and -- Yeah.

-- you know, scrolling through quote unquote, funniest videos on on TikTok. And I was like, well, They say you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. And so in my own circles, I am pretty normal.

Mhmm. Like, I hang out with other people that have the same kinds of values and approaches and philosophies. And so it doesn't feel weird to me. And so if it feels weird to pursue what's good or feels like that's going against great.

What environment are you putting yourself in that doesn't convey. Right? So hopefully, people listening to your podcasts are saying, That's the environment I wanna put myself in talking about values, talking about morals.

But I would say this actually it's occurred to me when you're saying that about holding the door open.

Because there's something we've learned that is performative about holding the door. Right? That it's showing manners and, oh, is it sexist that you pulled it for?

You specifically said holding the government for someone when they're carrying things like when they have their armholes. Sure. And I think, ideally, Nobody has to explain to you to help someone who has their arms pulled.

Ideally. You said, I mean, it's the difference between the performative, oh, I hold the door for a woman. And the just consideration of it looks like you've you've got your hands full. Let me help you out.

And I feel like if we focus more on the second, which is let me be a considerate neighbor and you have your hands full. Let me help you out. Instead of the performative, this is how I'm supposed to be or this is what's manners.

The former is is a stronger base because it then it doesn't have to give you specific directions for every single situation. Because the fundamental value is just be consider, be helpful.

Right? Well, sure. But then by that metric, it doesn't matter if I'm a dude holding a door open for you. Not a dude, or you're a dude holding a door open for me, not a dude. You know? I agree. Or or whether or not you're happy.

No matter. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's courtesy and Yeah. I I Yeah. I don't drop doors on people behind me. That's how I would It's not a daily occurrence that I'm trying to go out of my way to be a dick to somebody.

No. And so in trying to find ways to communicate that, you brought up a good point. Is it performative? And I think to a certain degree, it has to be because kids are gonna learn more from what they see than what they're told.

So to a certain degree, Maybe yeah. I am doing whatever it is to be seen. But in certain circumstances, because I'm trying to set an example that here, this is important.

And then when you're older and you can conceptualize what courtesy means or what role values have in your life and perspective, well, now we'll attach words to those actions.

And I think some of that can be even embodied in social media now as an avatar or where with cyberbullying type concepts or comments, whatever that are just rude, even to a certain degree, some sarcastic comments that just don't really have a place there alongside that poster for that audience, it's 1 thing to to say something and stand up for somebody because it has to be seen in order to set an example.

You know, it's like Benjamin Bannister, I think, when he he was the first guy to break the 4 minute mile. And until it's been done, it's an impossible task.

And I think a lot of it's the same conceptual parallel where until you see that it's possible, and for every kid growing up, everybody, every human grow up, you experience everything for the first time once, depending on what you see and how you interpret that or how your sphere of influence encourages you to interpret that.

It may never click unless somebody goes out of their way to show you hold on now. There is a better, more effective, more moral ethical way to do these things. In fact, there's a a point that she brought up.

I'm pretty sure it was principal 5 in your book. You were talking about resisting the allure of convenience? Yeah. And some of that more superficially is actually about what's convenient like your plastic bags by smash for your produce.

But To what we're talking about now, almost more on a sort of metaphorical level, it's convenient to fit in with what's popular. It's inconvenient to go against the grain even though it's ethically morally sound.

But I think you have to resist that. At least some time, if not all the time, to be able to either maintain strength of character or increase some sort of positive output from yourself to everybody else around you.

Folks, I'm Porter, host of the transacting Value Podcast. You're being personally invited to increase empathy worldwide through shared values. Hey, but why do you say it like that? That's not what we talked about.

No, it's not. Why do you call it an invitation? Look, guys, there are people around the world who have listened to our conversations with guests. And they've trusted us to build perspective over different topics through shared values.

The least we can do is invite them out to hear more of the content that they enjoy while still reminding them that season 1 and season 2 of the podcast are still listed under the old name as DYT the podcast.

Friday, that makes sense, Porter. Just tell them that if they go to YouTube and search survival dead y t, they can find all the old videos in playlist.

Along with season 1 and season 2 8, Or if they want to hear some of the other interviews from those seasons that they can still find them everywhere their favorite podcasts are streamed. I'll just do it.

No. I got it. I'll let them know to stay in touch through the Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter pages by searching at the transacting value podcast. For comments, critiques, topic ideas, or to become guests themselves.

I'll make a note to say thank you to all of our show sponsors and partners, and just say that I appreciate of our new and continue listeners, and then I'll close out by saying I'm Porter, I'm your host, and this is the transacting value podcast.

To what we're talking about now, almost tomorrow on a sort of metaphorical level, it's convenient to fit in with what's popular.

It's inconvenient to go against the grain even though it's ethically morally sound. But I think you have to resist that.

At least some time, if not all the time, to be able to either maintain strength of character or increase some sort of positive output from yourself to everybody else around you. Am I way off the mark here or am I someone else?

No. I think you're I think you're exactly right, which which actually goes back to principle 1, which is see the current. And what you're talking about with someone has to show you at a certain point.

Again, if you're just floating along on mainstream American calls, you're doing all kinds of things that are extracted and exploited and unkind to various groups because it's it seems normal to do that.

And so the first thing you have to do is, yeah, like, look around and go, wait.

Is is this actually who I wanna be and how I wanna show up in the world and who's actually aligned with my values, the lull of just floating along like everybody else is powerful.

And so it does take an effort to awake yourself from that or, like, paddle against the current or against the mainstream to get to where you wanna be that takes some strength of character because, yeah, it's not always going along with the popular kid.

Right?

How many movies is coming of age movies? Like, that's literally the plot of is someone has been going along with the popular kids to do something they knew was wrong and it somehow finds the strength to, like, stand up for what's right.

It is a difficult thing to do, but it is a fundamental underpinning to so many other things.

Is that bravery and that strength of character exactly what you're talking about? To to stand up to the mainstream whether it's an actual person or a situation or just a normal way of behaving. Quote Yeah. Yeah.

Normal to your baseline. Yeah. Yes. You know, you mentioned bravery in your book too. Prince before? If I remember right -- Yeah. -- talking about bravery. And you actually had a story about that, but I think it was more career centric.

Right? Yeah. I mean, I think what, 40000000 Americans quit their job during the pandemic, it has somewhat of the same experience that I did, but you know, sort of going, this just isn't aligned with who I aspire to be.

It's to the outside world. You know, it's a very prestigious and respected and with the institution, but like I knew on the inside that it just wasn't really pulling in the I wanted to go.

But it's really hard to walk away from that when you're being well compensated when it's not like you're in an abusive thought kind of situation.

And I know and like a lot of people stay in those jobs. Oh my gosh. People, you know, come to me all the time.

They're, like, I'm so miserable These people don't respect me. They don't value me the way that they're making decisions is not aligned with my values. And yet they were saying same thing because it was scary.

And it was hard. And I just wonder who acknowledged that. Like, yeah. It's hard. And I've had those moments. And for me, I can't sit there in that like, once I come to that decision, that this is this ain't it. Then I cannot stay there.

Like, I'm out within months because it just for me, it's like too much discomfort And so it's painful that takes bravery and then you get to the other side turns out you feel better and you find something that's that's meant for you and you find the next thing, and and then you go, oh, why did I wait so long?

It's like everything from Well, really anything with a conceptual basis not conceptual contractual basis.

At first, it sounds, you know, appealing until you identify what about it is maybe more utilitarian or more in alignment like you said with with where you wanna be and what you wanna become.

Maybe I don't wanna use a cell phone provider anymore because the reception's not good enough where I need it to be.

All all the way up to I'm not gonna buy coffee from that company because they're not sustainably sourced coffee beans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Okay. Yeah.

And you well, if you bring up you you brought up like you mentioned that the resist the award of convenience, which in summary, I think is the most important principle because Again, mainstream culture has taught us to play, like, in that calculus of is this working for me?

Do I feel good about contract, or this transaction, or this situation, always to put our own convenience at the top of the list of what we should be considered. Yeah. So is this vendor convenient? Is this plastic bag convenient?

Is this bank convenient? And fundamentally, we then sacrifice other things we say we value, like human dignity and respect I mean, for me, the the ultimate example of course is Amazon Prime, which -- Yeah.

-- so we all signed up for Amazon Prime 10 years ago, we're like dad's off and 2 day delivery of anything I could need.

And and became more and more ubiquitous and started now in the last couple years to hear these stories about Amazon drivers having to heat in bottle.

And by the way, if you look that up on snopes back up, that is true. That is the, like, the abuse of the warehouse injury rates because they're being pushed to go faster and faster.

They don't pay for them to go through security lines. And like all of these different issues, it's true, and we know it. And yet we're like, oh, but it's so convenient. I just push the button on my phone and it shows up on my house.

And so I think there are a lot of people. And not everybody, some people are still perfectly happy and, you know, don't really care. But I think a lot of people reevaluating that relationship.

I mean, I certainly am, which is to say there are a lot of other ways to get what I need. And frankly, I don't need nearly as much as Yeah. Amazon wants me to need. And so I really saved that for something that I can't find locally.

I can't find from a, you know, direct source. I mean, there's just so many alternatives. But again, as long as we keep putting convenience at the top of our decision making hierarchy, we're gonna keep violating our other principles.

You know, I think it was maybe Ben Frank I'm gonna have to look this up I brought this up on a couple interviews, and I I can never remember who actually said it.

But if Americans are willing to sacrifice security in the name of convenience, they deserve neither, but won't get both or some of that effect.

Right? The the point being more in alignment with what you're saying though, that it's tempting to push for convenience.

I mean, look at podcasts. Look at marketing for book deals. Look at whatever. Okay. Well, no problem, but you've gotta give up x percentage of royal or costs or access or, you know, the the fine print.

Okay. You want to link these social media accounts so you can cross post. And it's quicker and it's more convenient. Okay. Yes. But you've got to give that company all the rights to all the access to get into your profile to do that.

To what degree who owns those companies, be more critical of, yes, to a degree what we're using and how we're consuming, but it directly translates into your own safety, your own security, and your own social awareness, economic awareness, cultural awareness of what's happening and and what's becoming more viable as a way of life relying on technology and and digital traffic as well.

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Now moving from that piece though, Sharon, you wrote in your book and we've discussed a little bit off the air about when you put your convenience and your priorities, over somebody else's, call it safety, call it security, call it preferences, priorities, lifestyle, whatever, it's always going to have a longer term detrimental impact on the society writ large.

Right? Maybe not that individual, maybe not that 1 on 1 interaction. But the trend is gonna continue. Right? Somebody burns out at work, Maybe there's an accident.

Maybe they work themselves too hard. Any number of things. Right? So what's your opinion on I guess, sublimating maybe other values that we have for the sake of convenience or other people's values underneath our own.

Yeah. Well, and to just put a finer point on it, I think, I don't mean to reply, you know, you can never put your interests first. Because sometimes you need to take care of yourself and your family.

So it's more, again, the quote unquote value of your own convenience ahead of all your other values, which might be things like supporting workers or buying America or a fair trade or whatever those other things are, if you always let convenience ruin the day, you're you're pushing those things down.

And what it strikes me about that is it's feels like, again, it's the normal thing to do.

But most of us kind of feel bad all the time. You know, I -- What would you -- I think there's Yeah. I mean, there's, like, there's a saying that we call those things oftentimes with the guilty pledge.

You know? If you're gonna because I was like, it's a guilty pleasure. And I think what it what do you feel guilty about? Is is the guilt is assigned to you that you're actually not acting in alignment with your own values.

And so there's a little bit of like, oh, it's fun to be naughty. But I I actually think it's it's underrated how it's fun to feel good.

Like, when you do something that feels like a win or feels like you're putting other values first, then it really feels good, and that's how you end up repeating those kinds of behaviors because they're like, 0II feel really good about that, and I feel good about myself and who I am.

And I wanna do more of that. And so it becomes a virtuous cycle of making a choice, getting the emotional and spiritual reward of that character based choice, and then and then doing it again.

So there's really this number. This is a true story. I talked to someone who was at Sun Valley this year, which is a gathering of life.

Billionaires every year, hosted by bankers and investment people, and they all get together and very private. Apparently, Elan Musk attended this year, and he said to the audience, I am miserable 75 percent of the time.

And I think you are too. Mhmm. And, you know, I'm like, yeah, I bet you are. Because you are making choices every day that just kind of put your self interest ahead of the collective interest in ways that are damaging.

We tend to celebrate, and we tend to lionize those people because they are financially successful.

But are they actually successful in terms of being a human being. Yeah. You know, having good character, being happy, even just content and happy in who they are.

And the answer is no. The 4 400 wealthiest, I'm like, what does that have to do with anything? Let's celebrate the people who lift others up along the way.

Not to trivialize your point. I just don't have any Sun Valley experience as you may or may not have that. Me neither. Right. You brought up guilty pleasures, and I gotta tell you, I stopped watching real housewives.

There's other or impactful decisions I could do with my time. Although I'm just as concerned about whether or not people are gonna say yes to the dress, I still I still have to understand why am I doing this to myself.

Yeah. It's like why do the videos where people get hurt? It's like, what what is this?

It's just not fun for me. I know I sound like I'm No. Not at all. No. Not not at all. I mean, III understand in last 65 years of your life, you've learned a lot of prudence, you know? And it's okay. But no. I'm playing.

But there's a threshold. Right? Like, we're talking about positive impacting people's lives and supporting other people, and you brought up that it's okay to feel good. It's okay to put yourself first, and I think you're right.

There's a lot of platforms where you can hear or discuss or both, why things are bad, and why you shouldn't do things. But fear mongering gets better ratings than not. It's almost just sort of the nature of it as humans.

We're almost genetically predisposed to pay attention to what's gonna take you further away from pleasure or further away from what feels good because it's dangerous. And in that, what sort of dopamine response comes also with that?

Or adrenaline response comes also with that And the point that you brought up, it's okay to have a good time and feel good and put yourself first. I think there's 2 tracks to that.

And I think what we're seeing now conceptually at least is both of those. Where there's more of what I consider at least a superficial track to that dopamine increase and to that it's okay to feel good notion.

Where it's adrenaline, it's consumerism, you know, buying new shoes, buying new clothes, whatever, and sometimes don't get me wrong. That makes you feel good about yourself.

That that's not what I mean. I mean in a bunch or watching some of these videos online or or different vices. You know, maybe I drink, maybe I smoke, maybe I whatever, and that makes me feel okay.

Fine. The deeper aspect, the deeper track of these 2, that I'm trying to get across, and I think it sounds like what you're writing about as well is yeah.

But what about feeling good on, like, an actualized level as a person? When you coach somebody how to lift better at the gym and minimize or mitigate the risk for musculoskeletal injuries.

Or when you, as a coach, teach a kid to hit a ball off a tee, that he's never been able to do before, or teach your kid how to walk the first time, or, you know, or your grandmother how to walk again.

Who knows? And anywhere in between, but how good it makes you feel when you help people to progress, to improve, to be more holistically fulfilled, I think is the deeper track to this, it's okay to feel good point.

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12615 Tarpin Springs Road in Odessa, Florida. The PLACE with the boiled peanuts. How good it makes you feel when you help people to progress, to improve, to be more holistically fulfilled, I think is the deeper track to this.

It's okay to feel good point, but it's all in the same kind of And it's a much it's a much deeper feeling good.

Again, buying that shoes or watching that video, whatever is is incredibly fleeting as opposed to the feeling good that comes with the example you gave of character based true values aligned living.

And so my guilty pleasures are chocolate and red box. No. Not and it and it reminds me actually of when I was growing up, I remember being at a at a game. I don't know how old I was, but the crowd started booing for the opposite team.

Okay. And I started joining it. You know, I'm like, well, yeah, boom, you suck, you know, that's and my dad stopped me, and he says, we don't go to the other team.

We cheer for arson. And I just carried that lesson, like, literally my entire life and taught my kids that.

And it like, that's such an fundamental for me, sort of a fundamental value that aligns with this idea, which is, again, why I don't watch housewives and I don't read tabloids and I don't follow a lot of like celebrity gossip because to me it's the equivalent of booing the others.

It's like just being hateful and mean. I don't get pleasure out of that, out of other people's pain and suffering and stigmatizing them or whatever.

It's it's more about hearing on someone who's accomplishing something, being a supporter for someone who's reaching toward a goal.

And I think that that Like, we don't do the other thing we cheer for our team. It's a sweeter feeling when you're cheering for someone and they accomplish something then you're booing and they screw up.

Like I never want somebody who screw up on the other team. It's horrific to me, like support kid who misses this goal or whatever. No. They can't. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever that is.

That's not something I celebrate, but the but the 1 who makes the stay cheering for that. Yeah. Why when you wrote your book, was everybody supportive? When you said I want to start this company, was everybody behind you?

When you said, don't know, when you wanna start a family, yo, you're totally ready, you're gonna be great. I don't know anybody you might be picturing, but I doubt it. There's always gonna be somebody who says you're an idiot.

Why would you Don't waste your time. Don't waste your money. Nobody's gonna read that. Nobody's gonna listen to, you know, whatever. Fill in the blank comments. They may be right. But they're no more of a fortune teller than you are.

Well and actually, here's the here's the beautiful part, which is I would say Nobody was actively at least in my face and again, maybe it's because I wasn't like you know, I'm not in those trolley spaces online.

Like, that's a stupid idea. But they were just the epithet like, I think it's actually much more common for them to say nothing -- Yeah. -- and to be yeah, unsupportive than to be actively, you know Okay.

They they may be in their head. Yeah. And and, actually, that was a freeing thing. When I was getting ready to publish the book, I went on a walk with someone and I was like, oh, yeah.

Like like a big apathetic response like, someone who wants to argue with me or doesn't agree or but, you know, I was anticipating like a fight.

And he was like, sharing if they don't agree, it's what you said they're just gonna scroll on by.

And and that's true. Maybe it's because I am small potatoes and I'm not attracted you know, I'm not meghan Markle, like, trying new shifts in this world, and the whole world has to pile on.

Like, And so that is actually something that should help you be great. Is that what's that saying about we're all worried about people criticizing us, but they're actually only worried about self, but don't even see what we're doing.

You know, there's -- Yep. -- there's something about you imagine the whole world is going to tune in and pile on you and so you're afraid to do something and in reality, they're not, like, they're doing their own thing.

Again, the the kind of silence. And that can be painful. Don't get me wrong. Like, I I definitely, there were people who were not supportive with my business. So that was very painful to me.

But it's easier to ignore that apathy and it's highly, highly unlikely that people are actually gonna come out and say, I hope your business fails. You know? Well, yeah. Yeah. You know, it's I'm glad you brought that up.

We hadn't interview on Labor Day that aired with my mom, actually. And that yeah. That was 1 of the points that we discussed, though, where she talked about how after she had she was her leg was crushed by a piano a couple decades ago.

And so after she healed and recovered a little bit, she says she was afraid to go back into the gym because she was worried, like all these perfect bodies, everybody's gonna be staring at whatever because of a walker and all this other stuff.

And it it came up in the conversation almost exactly what you just said, where it doesn't really matter. Know, once you start to realize that people probably don't even notice what you're doing well, let alone what you're doing bad.

They just notice you because you're anomalous to their baseline. You know, you're a new thing in the in the Sarangeti, so people are just looking, but they may not be judging as much as you think.

Yeah. And and you're right. It is it is a lot more freeing. The flip side of that is you've got to realize it though. You've got to consciously be aware that Maybe I can do this on my own, and I'll be just fine.

You know, it's similar to your point more specifically to circle back to your book though. You don't need to rely on mass consumerism to survive today.

You also don't need to be an amish farmer plowing your own field, but You know, you don't need Amazon Prime, you don't need Netflix, you can get a book, you can go for a walk, you'll be just fine as a human.

You know, like, A lot of this stuff that gets pushed that you need to have this to be able to fit in with your friends in the in crowd or whoever the Jefferson's happen to be, you don't. And I think that gets overlooked too. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, think about that that show is literally called keeping up with the Kardash. Meaning, like, you're in a competition with them. And you're trying to keep up with their lifestyle and their value system, whatever that might be.

I don't know. I've never seen the show, but I don't think it's very It's certainly not full house. That sort of brings me to the last point or principle that you made in your book where it was know your power?

Right? Like, you can validate yourself. Not all the time, I think vacuums are dangerous, but you can self validate and be okay as a person.

And that alone might give you enough confidence to build your charisma, to build and strengthen your character, to help other people do it. Is that more what you were describing, or what did you mean by it?

Again, a lot of people think about how they express their values as being let's say the money they get to charity. Sure. You know, so I get 5 percent of my budget to be 5 charities or whatever, and that's my values.

And so just like with those foundations where it was like, what are you doing with the 95 percent know your powers about taking stock and being cognizant of actually all these levers you have in your own life that you can activate in alignment with your values or not.

Like today, they're either in alignment with your values or not. And I was saying, you know, if I did today, probably a really honest evaluation of how much of my actions, my spending, my existence is really aligned.

And I work at this. Right? I work at this pretty hard. It's probably 60 to 70 percent and that there's a massive disconnect But imagine you have all these other levers, you have the food you eat every day.

How is the food that you're eating reflecting your values you have the clothes that you wear. You have who is your bank?

Who has your mortgage? Who did you even say, who's your cell phone company? I mean, these companies that you are choosing you are voting with your dollars every day. So there's there's massive dollars just in your budget.

So know your powers, like, first to go, gee, what other areas of my budget, could I bring a little more in alignment with my values and with the things I say I care about and then to go beyond the financial but also think about you're a voter citizen and a volunteer.

Right? You're a worker you have professional skills that you are applying to what? You know, is that aligned with your guys? You are a social person.

You have network of friends and family and people that you influence. And how are you using that asset? And so when you really start to inventory all of the things you have to work with, you think, boy, right now I'm only 5 percent.

You know, they take humans early using 5 percent of their brain. Looks like when it comes to impact and our values, we're only activating like 5 percent of our lives.

Imagine imagine if you turn on that other 95 percent. You know, you'd be like Bradley Cooper and Limitless. You'd be You'd be ruling the world.

And I think that that's intended to be empowering to you that there are things you can do and choices that you can make and just keep chipping away as you try to bring more of that in the life of your body.

Know, that's a good point. It's kinda like when we have conversations like this or when people read your book or when people write books like yours, it's like you're learning how to make that NCT pill.

You're learning how to validate yourself, fulfill yourself, strengthen yourself without relying on other people Right o, Chimee Jones are here, Karen hosts to walk about an occasional guest host of transacting value the podcast.

Java and road, I often think and talk to myself about life, family, education, communication, whatever.

When I heard survival dead y t was looking for our host for this show Walkabout, I guys. A change to my audience of steering wheel and dashboard would be nice.

Thanks to a line in my drive time and road weather insights to survival dead y t's passion for values based growth and character development, a YouTube shorts version of Walkabout was born.

Try to keep in mind, that life is the lending experience, right?

Everything will be okay in the end. So if it's not okay, then it's not the end. To learn a whole heap more road wisdom and a few different values each month, check out Walkabout by searching survival dead y t on YouTube.

Now what what we're saying that though, that actually brings me up to the last part of the show. And this is a segment that I'm calling developing character Developing character.

Ready play? Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Here's how it works. So it's 3 questions, all 3 of which are totally centered on you and your perspective, so you can feel free to answer and be as vulnerable as you prefer.

Total fair game. But question 1, What were some of your values when you were a teenager? I valued intelligence. Loyalty, friendship, not caring too much what other people think.

I think I was 1 of like, I was a skater kid when I was in high school and it was just like this, even though I look like all the other skater kids, the you know, ethos was supposed to be that it was different from the mainstream kids.

So there was something to me about the value is about being your own person and expressing yourself. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. I don't care you far, especially today when everybody's online.

My son and his friends talk about it seems like and this is because I'm a alien to their way of life and communicating, but they almost seemed to judge each other's humanity based on the quality of their clothing of the characters in video games.

Yes. Like, clearly, your parents don't have enough money because your character has the shirt from 2 weeks ago, not the new 1.

You're like, whoa, man, You know, it's it's funny you say that because I remember being in, like, I don't know, middle school, you know, something.

And Air Jordan had just come out, like the first hundred dollar -- Yeah. -- shoes. And I'm from what has been called tennis shoes.

I remember saying to my mom, why can't I have fancy shoe because I had haylips, whatever -- Yeah. -- 20 bucks. She said to me, we send you to campus school because we value your education more than we value students.

Things like shoes. And it was actually 1 of the first times I realized it was a trade off, like how how your budget reflects your values. Right?

Like if that that's actually something people say, don't tell me your priorities. Show me your budget, and I'll tell you your priorities. Like that. Yeah. And and so the the fact that, like, that's still where teenage brains Yeah.

Our is focused on the which is just a reflection of money, which has nothing to do with -- No. I mean -- anything else. I mean, I talked with you. I wanted the shoes. I wanted the shoes. Yeah. And she's like, My friend.

Yeah. For all the progress we've made, we really haven't come that far. Takes me to question too though. What are some of your values now? Kindness. I think that's probably at the top of my list, kindness and compassion.

Yeah. Shared prosperity. Wanting good things for everyone rooting for my team, you know, whether that's my friends, my colleagues, my neighbors, I root for my team. I don't root against the other team. I like that. Question 3, though.

How do you see your values changing over the next 20 years? I don't know. I feel pretty good about where they are now. Like, I have bad kids. My kids are freshmen in college. It's junior in high school and the seventh grader.

And And I think raising kids and passing on values and thinking about that as as you were saying, like, in your everyday life and how you're modeling that, really helps you clarify those things.

And so I would say I feel like I've done a lot of that work over the last 8, 8 and a half years?

I think so, but doesn't swing back the other way. You know, it's a Towards what? Oh, toward my convenience as I'm -- Oh. -- aging or having challenges in my life.

I mean, you know, that's actually 1 of the things I say in the book is, like, when it becomes a convenience. It's like, look, if you're a single caregiver just trying to get through the day, do what you gotta do.

You know? Like, order from Amazon Prime. I'm not you, you gotta do what you gotta do. But for those of us that have a little more time or a little more money in some cases or a little more effort that we can put into something.

But I I just hope that I don't get to a point where I mean, it is a luxury and it is a privilege to have those things to be able to make different choices -- Yeah.

-- because convenience and cost don't always have to be at the top of my list. You know, I can make different choices. So -- Yeah. -- I just hope I can stay there. That that sort of, I guess middle class type perspective.

Where you've got limited options and limited choices and and you just don't have the the wiggle room in in your budget or as a family or or as an individual, it does make it difficult.

And and that's a valid point you brought up too. It's not about judging people for anybody listening to this. It's just awareness. Know, and understanding if you can create the options, then understand what you're getting yourself into.

Yeah. But I do appreciate you taking the time to talk about your character and your values, and ultimately, not to sound insulting, but not to just promote your book.

Know, I think it's -- Yeah. -- I think it's important too to understand that people are people no matter how far out of reach or successful or whatever threshold and benchmark their lives may seem.

Everybody still is just a human trying to figure their own way through the world. And And so I appreciate you being vulnerable and and a willingness to be relatable and and just coming out to talk. So thank you. Oh, my pleasure.

I'm still trying to find my way to. You know, that's Yeah. So let me imply that I'm, you know, the the guru on the mountain. I'm just on the journey with you. So still trying to figure it out for myself. Yeah. Yeah. I hear that.

Now saying that before we close out, Sharon, if anybody wants to reach out to you or get in touch with you or find out more about your book, How? What do they do? Yeah. The best place is my website is b integrated life dot com.

You can find links to buy the book from the seller of your choice. By the way, Amazon has looked to there, but so are the Indie bookstore and other local local options, so do what works for you.

And then if you're on LinkedIn, you can look me up, Sharon Schneider, and I have biweekly newsletter where I talk about specifically the integrated life at work.

So how do you apply these in the context of being an employee or an entrepreneur or an executive whatever your your role might be.

So that's another claim to commit. Are you anywhere else on social media that people could reach you or maybe email?

I'm on Twitter a lot. Twitter is probably my social media platform of choice, and Sharon Schneider there. And email would be hello, at in cap strategies dot com.

So my consulting company has got integrated capital strategies, and the URL is in cap strategies dot com. Thought you were trying to get my attention because I was writing it down, but now I'm piecing it together.

Hello. Hello. Wow. That was forward, but okay. Alright. So for everybody listening, yeah, I'll I'll put those links and, Sharon, so you know those URLs and all that'll be in the show notes for this in the description.

Anybody listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you decide to listen to this podcast episode, just click down the description, show more, see more, what ever, it says something to that effect, and you'll see all these links and URLs as well.

But, yeah, all things considered sharing.

I really appreciate it, and I'm glad we had this opportunity. WE TOO. WHAT A GREAT CONVERSATION, THANK YOU. Reporter: YEAH, YOU WELCOME. YOU WELCOMEMENT, EVERYBODY ELSE, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING INTO OUR COURT VALUES FOR SEPTEMBER.

Forgiveness, humility, and sacrifice. And I'd also like to thank, well, in cap strategies for 1. SHAREN TO AND YOU KNOW WHAT BRADLY Cooper AND LIMITLESS FOR ALL YOUR INSPORATION OF THIS CONVERSATION.

Reporter: ANDICA ASH IS, I THINK WE SHOULD THANK THAT'S gotta give credit where it's due. Yeah. But I also wanna thank our show partners, Keystone Farmers Market, the Be and the Bearcations.

And obviously, Bosepraut your distribution. Now if you're interested in joining our conversation or you wanna discover our other interviews, you can check out transacting value podcast dot com.

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