Just as a human in any situation, I think we all need to just do way more listening before we speak. And I think if we did more of that in general, we'd all be in a better place.

 

Alrighty folks. Welcome back to transacting value. We're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values. Our theme for 20 22 is the character of your character.

 

So who you see when you look your values in the mirror? Today, we're talking our October core values of vision, authenticity, and responsibility with founder of Nietzschely miss Nikki Bradley.

 

Now if you're new to the podcast though, welcome. And if you're a continuing listener, welcome back without further ado. Folks, I'm Porter. I'm your host, and this is transacting value. So who is Nikki Bradley?

 

Well, Nicki is a brand strategist who specializes in helping women entrepreneurs build their personal brand alongside their business brand so they can bring out their biggest, baddest, dopest version of themselves that they can show up as more of themselves to serve with more impact and sell with more confidence.

 

Now she also works with organizations to empower their business leaders to become powerful brand ambassadors, position themselves as thought leaders and build their own personal brand.

 

So if you wanna learn more, or connect with Nikki. Check out nikki bradley dot net for more information.

 

But while we've got her here on the air, we're gonna roll writing to just talking to her and see what she's gotta say about it. So first of all, Nikki, welcome to the show. Thanks, Josh. Good to meet you. Get well, not meet you.

 

We've been I feel like we've been getting to know each other more and more, but good to meet everybody who's watching, who's listening. Yeah. No. Definitely. And I appreciate you taking some time out of your weekends.

 

We can talk a little bit. There's a lot of stuff that I wanna cover, but I think it doesn't really do you the justice you deserve without giving you the opportunity to just talk about who you are first.

 

So who is Nikki Bradley to you? I am girl. I'm a I'm a grit. I'm a girl race in the south. I remember hearing that, like, when I was growing up and I was like, I'm a grit.

 

Sounded really funny to me. Yeah. But I am. And I am the daughter of parents who my mom is a been a teacher her whole life My dad is very super smart guy, went into engineering, took some wrong turns, and my parents got divorced.

 

But my stepfather wanted to be in the military and had health issues, but he was raised by a military dad. So we had a lot of that discipline -- Yeah.

 

-- in our house. But he was also a musician, and he taught in the schools as well. A lot of people in my family were educators, and I also have a lot of people in my family who are entrepreneurs.

 

Nice. So I kinda have it kinda got it honest. Like -- I didn't have a choice. -- seeking part and the entrepreneurial part. That's kind of in me. Yeah.

 

So, yes, I think that's kind of how I got into doing what I do now. I've always been into business So really, when I look back, everybody in my family was either a teacher or an entrepreneur or went into corporate America in some way.

 

I did the getting my business degree started out in management consulting because I heard that's what you do when you don't really know what you wanna do when you come out of business school so I did that.

 

And I kind of got this broad business experience in corporate. I started there, and I did sales and marketing and branding and did some operations.

 

But I kind of landed in running national sales teams and doing marketing and that type of stuff. But I've always had a business on the side that entrepreneurial part just kept tugging me.

 

And eventually, I went full time in it, and now I do what you just described. So I love helping other people to really just show up as more of who they are so that they can attract people they were put here on this planet to serve?

 

I don't know any other better phrase for it than that is probably the dopa superpower you could have come up with. I mean, helping people reach their potential I think is a undervalued skill set and almost, I don't know, misinterpreted.

 

Right? Like, you can find it everywhere. You can hear it all the time. Like, well, let me help you get better at fill in the blank.

 

But when you're working with people, there's so many different variables that it's not just mechanical science y type skill sets. You gotta factor in this human dimension of how and why people operate and think and view the world.

 

So how do you do that? I mean, you're talking a personal brand. Yeah. People as people, not people as consumer products or people as services or people as businesses.

 

Mhmm. What does it even really mean? How do you do that? Yes. So I believe that people buy from people. They don't buy from they don't buy, like, from a company when we go to Target, yes, we're buying at the store.

 

But a lot of the products that we buy, especially now, we're moving into a world where A lot of the choices that we make about which brands we buy from are because we have a connection to these smaller companies that coming up.

 

And, like, why they do what they do, the decisions that they're making about how they're making the products, who the founder is, things like that.

 

Like, we decide not to buy products because of some of the people who are at the company. Right? Sure. And so a lot of the decisions that we make about how we buy are really based on the people.

 

And for the types of companies and businesses that I work with, a lot of them are service based businesses. They're businesses where The person who is the owner is the face of the brand.

 

People are deciding to buy from you because of you. Whether you choose to recognize that or not. Sometimes a lot of the people I work with like to be in the background, they're like, oh, no.

 

Don't look at me. Like, just look at like, here's my website. I'm nowhere on the website unless you, like, click on a whole bunch of buttons, and then you might see my name and there's, like, this old headshot of me.

 

But They don't want to be seen not realizing that people are going to find you. They wanna know who they're buying from. Yeah.

 

And so it's so important that if people are going to make that type of a decision, you need to be really clear about who you are and the value that you bring to the table because they're looking for that to figure out if you're the 1 that they wanna buy from or not, if you're their person or not.

 

I feel like I had to set up the why. This is important first because that's really where a lot of times I have to start there to get people to understand, like, okay, now that you understand that, Now let's talk about how do we do this.

 

Yeah. Well, if you don't see the relevance in it, you're not gonna pay attention. I mean, any 8 year old and a third grade class could tell you that.

 

Yeah. Why do I need to learn about math? Gross. Right. Well, here's why it's important. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Like, my daughter won't need her peace unless have that conversation first.

 

Yeah. Yeah. My mom, really. So you mentioned dope superpower. That is what we do. We figure out, like, what is your dope superpower? Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value. Easy breezy marketing secrets.

 

In 30 minutes, learn how to plan your week, streamline your marketing, and build your business when you don't have a ton of time and without the overwhelm in this mini training because who's got time for another 30 module course?

 

Go check out programs dot nikki bradley dot net. To find out more about your dope superpower? You mentioned dope superpower. That is what we do. We figure out, like, what is your dope superpower?

 

And the reason I came up with this is a lot of times people hide behind the business or behind what they do, but it's also because a lot of times, I get people who are like, well, there's so many other people that do what I do.

 

I'm just 1 of thousands of people that offer this thing for something like this.

 

And so how can I know that someone's gonna buy from me or how can I stand out versus this sea of accountants or this sea of whatever the thing is that you do? And this is what it comes down to as your dope superpower.

 

So there's 4 components to it. The first thing is your innate giftings. So it is that god given talent God given thing. It's not even necessarily a talent, but it's that god given thing about you that you don't need to work at it.

 

You just do it, and you don't even know how it just comes. I equate it to, like, you give Michael Jordan a ball, any kind of ball.

 

He's gonna score on you. It doesn't matter. Mhmm. Maybe we a golf ball, do we a basketball, do we a baseball? He's gonna win. So what is that thing for you? The second thing is your passion. So what is it that you are passionate about?

 

Another way to think about it is what are you curious about? What have you always been passionate or curious about? So it's that thing that if there was a TV show about it, if there was a book about it, you're gonna read it.

 

If somebody's having conversation about it, you want in on the conversation. If there's a course or a conference about it, you're like, yep, sign me up. So what is that thing?

 

And the third thing is your blind spot. This is the thing that other people seeing you that you're, like, really, I did that. And they're like, dude, you're freaking amazing at it. Like, everybody else sees this, but you don't see this?

 

Yeah. You do this all the time. You're amazing at it. That's your blind spot. And we all have 1. Sometimes you have to ask other people if you don't know it. And the last thing is your experiences.

 

So these are all of the things that you have lived, people that you've met, all of the things that shape how you view the world, to take your values, how you think about things, the lens through which you experience life.

 

When you put all 4 of those things together, there's nobody who's gonna do what you do the way that you do it. Talk about it the way that you talk about it.

 

And so you can then come and show up in a way that is more powerful and more grounded and confident, like, hey. Nobody do it like me. I'm the dopest in the game at this. Because nobody does it like this.

 

Yeah. Confidence goes a long way. And you said understanding your blind spots, interpreting your experiences, obviously, in a way that's beneficial to you, But you've got to you've got to account for the negative space too.

 

Right? Like, okay, these are things I'm not good at. These are things that I know I'm just not interested in. So you can better allocate your time, your effort, your money, your energy, whatever.

 

So in balancing all that stuff out though, how do you recommend better identifying or clarifying any of your assumptions or any of your biases to be able to split them up into Here's what's positive and beneficial.

 

Here's what I'm just not interested in or what's counterproductive to what I'm trying to accomplish.

 

So I say this all the time in my community. We get what we focus on. So if you wanna spend your time focusing on the negative things or the things that you're not so good at, you're gonna get more of that.

 

Just like when you focus on the things that really strong at, you're really good at, you're gonna get more of that as well.

 

You're gonna get better at those things that you are really good at if you focus your attention on those things. The people who are the most successful in the world, they don't spend their time on the things that are not their strength.

 

They hire other people or they delegate other people to do those other things. I'm an avid learner. Like, I love to consume information.

 

I love to learn new things. And I used to be somebody who would I'm like, I just wanna learn all the things. I wanna be a well rounded person. I wanna learn about I wanna get, you know, this thing over here that I'm not so good at.

 

Let me just go, you know, read a book about that or let me go and take a course about if I could get better at that. And what I learned is that that is counterproductive, because I'm only probably gonna get mediocre at best.

 

At that -- Mhmm. -- whereas if I would've set that same amount of attention on the things that I'm already good at, I could be exceptional at those things. Yeah. I was talking to my son the other day about that.

 

Eli's playing video games. K? At school with his friends if he's able. After school with his friends if he's able. After school without his friends if he's able, he doesn't care, but he likes playing video games.

 

Right? Now we're at this age so he's 8. We're at this age where since we're long distance, I gotta ask him everything and all I have to go on is what he tells me.

 

And I think he knows this. And so when I ask him for example, hey bud, do you have any homework? Nope. Okay. Well, what do you have to get done before tomorrow? Nothing. Okay. Alright.

 

Gee dinner? Nope. Okay. Here's the deal. You're gonna clean your room. You're gonna go eat dinner. You're gonna finish your homework, and you're gonna get ready for tomorrow before we play video games tonight. He said no seriously.

 

I don't have anything to get done. I can play right now for as long as I want. Sure you can, bud. Go get dinner. Go clean up your room, you know, all these things. But he's realized, okay, well, here's the cracks in the system.

 

I'm really good at exploiting them because you can't disprove me. So even though he hasn't understood what he's good at and what he's capable of, he is inherently subconsciously at least seeming to start understanding oh wait a minute.

 

I can recognize patterns. I can understand how to use those to my advantage. Right? And these are all skill sets that you're describing. It's not just like I can paint. I can draw.

 

I can write whatever skill sets. Right? It's also just paying attention to the world around you and gathering these inputs. Right? Mhmm. Yeah. And there's things that some people, those different areas, come to them immediately.

 

And other people, they have to sit with it for a while before it comes to them or they may have to ask other people, especially, like, with the blind spot.

 

They'll have to ask other people. Like, you immediately saw that in him. Mhmm. He might not recognize it. He might he might it's like you said. He he might be like, yep.

 

I know I got this. I know exactly what I'm doing here. I know exactly what I'm doing. Yeah. You know, we'll see where it goes. Hopefully, he doesn't grow up to be a con man, but at the very least he's learning how to communicate.

 

In ways that benefit him and that's the whole point of life, I think. If you wanna try to identify your baseline let's just call it for clarity real quick.

 

Who you are as a person. Right? We talked about the character of your character, the values that you want to embody, the things that you bring to the table, from that perspective.

 

Well, you have to understand the present moment what is level of things before you can project forward. Right? Because you don't know where you're starting. How do you know how to get to anywhere?

 

So in identifying that baseline, I wanna get your opinion on a couple topics specifically. Maybe not just physically, but emotionally or behaviorally revising your baseline, revising your assessment yourself.

 

Before we get to that though, let's take a break for a couple minutes and we'll be right back on transacting value. If you're looking for quality locally sourced groceries. The Keystone and Farmers market is the place to be.

 

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So first off, before we get back into talking about bass lines, Nikki. Welcome back. Thanks. Good to be back. Yeah. No problem. So what we talked about before we take that break was identifying a baseline, but for yourself, Right.

 

A lot of the time I think as you're going through the world we do this subconsciously. You see traffic so you don't walk in the street because the baseline is if there's a car and it's going faster, then you can run away.

 

It's gonna hit you. So you're like, alright. I'm not doing that. Or conversely, there's something there that I like that I enjoy that I can afford so I'm gonna buy because it makes me feel good.

 

And so every time you see that thing assuming you could afford it and you need to replace it, you continue to buy it.

 

That physical environment, those baseline patterns, I think also applies inwardly. When we're talking emotionally, maybe behaviorally, even mentally, how you view the world and the perspective you create.

 

But how does that impact Nikki in your opinion? Maybe self doubt or self esteem or self confidence, what role does any of this play?

 

So it's interesting. I just had a conversation with some of my clients yesterday. About this because we were talking about the fact that your results can never exceed your beliefs.

 

And so, essentially, whatever you believe and your beliefs are just a combination of your thoughts, like, the way that you think about something.

 

And so if your experiences have taught you that if you take certain actions, then you'll get hurt.

 

If you're around certain people, then you'll get hurt. So then you stop taking those actions. You stop hanging around certain people so that you don't get hurt, right?

 

So that's your baseline, just as an example. But it can apply to anything, right? In business, it might be that if I ask certain people to buy my thing, they'll say no.

 

If I charge too much, then people won't buy because that's what's happened before. Mhmm. Or I haven't seen anybody else charged this much before. So I can't charge that much. Because people will say no or they won't wanna work with me.

 

I have never seen anybody make this much money before, so I can't make that much money. So we formed these beliefs. Right? So as long as you believe those things, your results will never exceed that.

 

So we form these habits to thinking these habits of action around what we believe, and our results will never exceed that until we change how we think about it.

 

And change our beliefs about it. And it's not just our beliefs about how things work like that.

 

You know, we believe that people don't buy x once it's beyond a certain price point or people don't buy from people who look like me or people don't buy from people who are this old or people who are this old can't start a business or whatever it is, it's also what you believe about yourself.

 

Like, I don't deserve to have x. I'm not worthy of why. Mhmm. We have to change those thoughts because our actions reflect what we think.

 

That's a valid point. Now just as a sort of counterpoint to what you're bringing up emotionally speaking. So there's a guy that I talked to a couple months ago. And similar circumstance.

 

Right? Where he began identifying his capabilities, his value, his worth, based on all the feedback he had been getting from other people, and it was trashing his confidence, trashing his self image and his self esteem.

 

To the extent where he was told, well, you'll never be anything more than a drunk.

 

You're never gonna be able to make this marriage work. You're never gonna understand what it's like to raise kids because you can't even do it now when you have them type comments.

 

Now he doesn't have that marriage. He does drink often and didn't have as good of a relationship as he could have had with his kids.

 

But he could have as an individual, like you said, he still has a unique perspective on how he interpreted the world that to somebody else might make the difference between success or failure.

 

Generally speaking, parents, the children, but it could be any capacity.

 

Right? So -- Yeah. -- the sort of 1 man's trash is another man treasure analogy. Right? Like you may think you've got nothing to offer, but somebody thinks you've got everything.

 

And if you don't know who they are, and you haven't made an attempt to find them especially now given the Internet, we're talking billions of connections.

 

You're not gonna meet them all. But somebody might hear you. Somebody might see you. And even if you never meet them and you never know about it, it might be your input that makes the difference, you know. So Exactly. Yeah.

 

I totally agree with you. Superpowers are underrated. And they're not just for 8 year old. 100 percent. I agree with you. Now you've mentioned though otherwise that the ability to identify your blind spots can't be done solely by you.

 

They're blind spots. Right? So Right. You know, if you've got let's say surround yourself with a support network. Digually, for example, like, I've never met you in person, but now we've got a working relationship.

 

I've never talk to half of these people on social media that have comments emails whatever applies. Also then the people I have a physical you know, sort of relationship with in person.

 

But you've got to surround yourself with people in any capacity to help you identify these things. How do you recommend effectively doing that in order to find the people that are smarter than you and the things you wanna get better at?

 

There's the same as quote Jim Brown said it where he says you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Mhmm. And that's true to an extent. But part of it is you've gotta be really clear about what it is that you want.

 

A lot of people are not. I'm always asking the people that I work with, what is it that you really want? Like, not what it is that you think is attainable, not what is it that you think is feasible for you to get.

 

But what is it like in your harder part when you're really just allowing yourself to really feel what it is that you want, what is that?

 

And when you're about what that is when you allow yourself to really open up to what that is, clue is already doing that.

 

For who is already on the path to that, and then put yourself in proximity to those people. How do you identify them though?

 

Where do those people hang out? Yeah. You mentioned the Internet. Mhmm. We have access to all of the people right now. You literally can do a Google search or do a search on any of the social media platforms and find those people.

 

So that's what keyword searches are for. Let's say you have a dream of having a vacation home. Sure. 1 day. All you gotta do is do a search on Facebook or something like that of groups of people that have vacation homes.

 

There's a group for that. Yeah. Right? But it's so easy to overthink that. Right. We do that. All time. Yeah. So you could literally just go hang out in in those groups and just being around those people.

 

You start picking up on their frequency, their energy of it. What do people like that talk about? What do people like that think about? And you start to raise your level of frequency to the thing it is that that it is that you want.

 

Mhmm. But it seems too easy. And and I think It does seem to be to be. I think that's that's what happens. Yeah. That's ultimately what can happen. Right? But you're telling me I can be What what are some of the untouchables?

 

Tom Cruise. I can be the next Tom Cruise if I wanna be an actor. I can be the next JayZ, if I wanna be a musician, I can be the next Emeril Legasse if I wanna be a chef, whoever. These seem untouchable.

 

All this fame, all this reach they've got online, on TV over the years, whatever applies, movies. But it's really that easy. Like, that's all they did. They just talked to people and they just figured out, oh, okay.

 

Here's how I can get better and learned along the way. In person, yes. Yeah. But it's really that simple online because there's so many dangerous things online. There's you know what?

 

We're just cutting it out of the household completely. It's too much of a threat. Did they start by going after, like, since you brought up Tom Cruz. So Tom Cruz didn't start out by, like, who would be somebody he looked up to.

 

So say he really looked up to Alpacino. Sure. He didn't go directly after Alpacino. He found other people who were maybe, like, that next step Mhmm. Above wherever he was at that point, who were actors doing what he wanted to do.

 

And I was like, let me go hang out with them. Right? Yep. So you find people who are at that next step of where it is that you wanna be, and you go hang out with those people.

 

It's just like think about, like, when you were in school and you were on JV. You knew that you wanted to be on the varsity team. You might have started working out with the varsity team when they were doing their conditioning.

 

So you could learn, okay, like, well, what do they do when they are doing their workouts so that I could start working out, but I could start building up my strength like they had their strength.

 

A lot of schools and coaches do that. They have the JV team work out with the varsity team.

 

Mhmm. So that they could get learn, like, what does it take? To be on varsity. You can get in that frequency and that energy of what it's like to be at your next level. It's the same thing.

 

I'm glad you explained that there's a interview we did back in July with a guy named Chad Elders and he was talking about this monkey see monkey do aspect of military training where you're just told boot camp was his reference point What to do?

 

Period. Just do it. Right? You don't have to talk. Just keep your mouth shut. Just do it. He made a point though he called it the y generation.

 

Not as a alphabet letter or even if that's the right letter anymore. I'm not sure, but either way, it was WHY. The wide generation. And he said now more and more kids are coming in in his case into the marine corps saying, okay.

 

Yeah. But why are we doing this? This is dumb. What are we doing? As opposed to okay. Look, you just have to do what you're told instant willing obedience to orders that level of discipline without question.

 

His defense was, well, the reference point is different. 20 years ago, we had a war on terror that you could draw as a commonality to everybody for the next 2 decades going through basic training, you didn't have to ask why.

 

Because you understood, oh, that's why we're doing these. Or we're doing this this way or whatever. Now you don't. Kids are coming in that are born in 2002, 2003, so they don't have that aside from what they learned in a history book.

 

And so they may not have the same point of reference to form a perspective to say, oh, this is why. And so they're asking why? Because they sometimes just don't know. Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

 

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And so they're asking why because they sometimes just don't know. Mhmm. So in that same train of thought, the JV training with Varsity, for example, for any coach listening to this, this is just my assumption.

 

I'm not scapegoating any coaches that may hear this. But If you have JV players to your example, training with varsity and you just tell them the what is the what for, they're probably gonna do it because they don't know any better.

 

And maybe not thinking anything more than sure why not? I'm at practice. Coach said to do it, I'm gonna do it. But if you're not explaining why JV is training with Varsity or to the Varsity guys.

 

Why is the JV crowd here? Well, that's why. Your role in on the varsity team now is to learn how to be an inspiration and a mentor and a guide, not just an athlete, and build up those values.

 

And circumstantially to the JV team, your role here is to learn and understand humility and understand your place that success is attainable.

 

What do you bring to the table? This is where you could go, who you could be conceptually if you stick to it over the next 4 years.

 

And so if that's not being explained, let's say those values aren't being explained. How do you recommend identifying those things for the y generation in in each of us now?

 

I'm a big proponent of I think about it as community. And community might not be the right word to use here. I I can't think of the word that I'm reaching for.

 

Okay. But it essentially comes down to everybody brings something to the table. Sure. And we can all learn from each other. We all have gifts we all have perspective, and we all have an assignment to serve somebody else.

 

And so sometimes, that may mean that you are the 1 who is assigned to bring somebody else up. Sometimes that assignment means that you are in preparation for when you are gonna be in position to bring somebody else up.

 

And so while you're in preparation to bring somebody else up, that doesn't mean that you're just brain dead in the process.

 

Like, you still have your gift Yeah. We were talking about dope superpower. You still have things that you were given that you're still supposed to be sharing with the world.

 

So that means that while you were in separation, you are no better than you are no less than anybody else. You still have value in the process. And so we can always learn from each other.

 

There's always a give and take. Which means that the people who are maybe helping to bring you up like you were talking about varsity -- Mhmm. -- they should not be looking down at the JV thinking, oh, I'm bringing them up.

 

I am the big man on campus, but they can still learn from the ones that they are bringing up. I constantly learn from my students and my clients even though I'm, quote, unquote, the leader of the group.

 

Part of the reason that a lot of the things that I do are in a group format is so that they can learn from each other as well -- Mhmm.

 

-- as people at various levels. Various stages. We bring them together so that they can learn from each other.

 

The people who have been in the game longer can learn from me, but they're also learning from the people who might be at a earlier stage, because they have different experiences, different lenses, different perspective.

 

Yeah. You know, it's the same thing at least in my experience in the military to your point.

 

And you've got these old dinosaurs walking around for 2 decades and then some and in some cases less than that that you know nobody's gonna stack up to what I've done and their egos open doors for them.

 

But you've got other people that come in 17, 18, 19, 20, some odd years old, enlisted and commissioned officers depending on, you know, what age they come in.

 

But who don't know any better in the beginning. And so it's not that it's overtly harassing But it is abrasive because there has to be some desensitization in my opinion and experience to serve in the military.

 

There's almost too much sacrifice not to. You have to understand you're not going to go home for the next 7 to 12 months. So figure out how to get through that.

 

The only things you're gonna see may be a combat zone, maybe an embassy, maybe a wherever you end up around the world, but you're not going home and that may mean a spouse that may mean to children that may mean to parents, friends, pets, whatever.

 

And then on top of that whatever stress compounds those variables. So you have to be a little bit callous.

 

And a tried and true method to encourage that is you should talk a little bit, you know, you rag on each other a little bit, some cases a lot of it, but it's all still overall meant to be harmless. Mhmm.

 

A not an issue because it's a problem, but an issue because it's an anomaly to that point is with these new kids coming in that for example, don't have a point of reference like 09:11 compared to everybody else who does as a purpose for why we're doing what we're doing.

 

The treatment that they receive is no different than the treatment anybody else received at their level coming in.

 

But the reception of it is totally different. Yeah. You know, there's a new perspective input coming into the military now. It's another generation coming in. The problem is there's not always a new perspective shift to accommodate.

 

And so it causes friction. Yeah. But to the point you brought up, you need to understand that whoever you is what you're offering and what you're bringing to the table doesn't need to change.

 

Nobody's demeaning you, you're worth, your value, devaluating what you bring to the table.

 

But your method of communicating that value may need to shift. You know, if you're -- Yeah. -- working for the people in some sort of call it servant leadership capacity or to your point, human capacity.

 

You can't speak the same way to everybody because not everybody speaks the same language and certainly not everybody interprets your language the same.

 

Right. And so how do you recommend adjusting your method of communication? Where the baseline is, I know who I am, what I offer, what I have to bring to the table.

 

But if nobody's hearing it or interpreting it the way you intend, it doesn't matter anyways. Right? So how do you tweak the communication aspect then? I mentioned that my mom was a teacher.

 

Mhmm. She was a speech pathologist. Okay. Communications for her thing. Okay. Is her thing. And then, you know, I come from a marketing background as well. So the way my mom would talk about it is she always talked about listening.

 

Like, good communicators listen. Right? And she would always tell us, you have 2 ears and 1 mouth. For a reason. That has always stuck with me. When I went into sales, I was really good at sales.

 

For that reason. And I'd never wanted to go into sales because I always had this perception of salespeople being aggressive, talking over people, pushing something down your throat kind of thing, And I never wanted to be that.

 

But I had people who, I guess, when you think about blind spots who saw something in me and they're like, you would be really good at sales.

 

And I was like, I don't know about that. But I recognize now that it's because I have been told that I'm really good at talking to pretty much anybody.

 

And it's because I remember I have 2 ears in 1 mouth. And I think this is a principle for whether we're talking about the military or anything else.

 

And with the military, I also recognize that there's a hierarchy -- Mhmm. -- which there's deference that always needs to happen because there's protocols.

 

Right? That you have to follow. Mhmm. So if you sign up for the military, you're signing up for that. You have to know that going in. There's a time and a place for everything.

 

There's a time to shut up. And there's a time. You know? So I think that that's a big part of it. The communication thing is just as a human in any situation, I think we all need to just do way more listening before we speak.

 

And I think if we did more of that in general, we'd all be in a better place. Don't even have a counterpoint. I agree 100 percent. The ability to actively listen, not just passively take it in. Yes. But right?

 

So actively take in what you're hearing, interpret it into whatever responses, I guess more accurate or effective. Is a game changer. Right? Everybody wants to be heard. Some people just wanna talk but everybody wants to be heard.

 

And, yeah, to be able to identify that, give people the space either to make a counterpoint or interpreting their own way to whatever level of production applies. Matter of fact, we did an interview late July.

 

The guy named Austin Otter, and he brought up something very similar. He said, you know, That's the problem right now. You need to have the ability as a person. Put a point out there, take a counterpoint, and realize you're the asshole.

 

And that was his sort of frame of reference for humility. But either way, it's the ability to actively listen and interpret things that makes the difference when you're trying to build relationships with people.

 

Otherwise, you risk invalidating them or whatever benefit they could bring you based on their skill set and perspective chances are high you've lost. Yeah. And that goes a long way, but it's also stemming from you.

 

Right? You've gotta recognize your own self worth and your own limitations like you brought up before. So let's say you don't have the inputs. Like for you, a lot of the work you do is online or at least reaching clients initially.

 

What do you have to go on from an email other than a paragraph? You know what I'm saying? How do you interpret the difference between paragraphs versus people?

 

As you're trying to figure out how to better align what you bring to the table to best benefit somebody else and what they're looking to supplement or in some cases what they're looking to complement, what they bring to the table, If initially or at all all you have is a resume on paper.

 

You haven't met this person before. How do you prep for that meeting or an email? How do you prep for that first conversation or a postcard in the mail or a letter?

 

Right? If all you have is something impersonal -- Mhmm. -- how do you plan mentally at least to reach them in a way that's mutually beneficial and mutually respectful?

 

If you don't have a human factor to rely on? Well, a couple things. 1, so I used to interview a lot of people as a manager, like, when I was in it.

 

So a lot of times, all I would have is somebody's resume -- Mhmm. -- to go off of. And as time went on, you know, when we we had more online resources and things like that.

 

You know, I would do more online research on people too. So, you know, you look them up you look them up on different social networks and see what you could find out about them or Google them and that type of thing.

 

I still do that now even if someone reaches out to me to schedule a call with me or something.

 

Or even just reaches out to me to friend request me or something. I always look people up because everyone has a digital footprint, whether it's a little 1 or a big 1.

 

Right? So I always do that. I learn that in sales. Before you have a call with somebody, you always do your research. To find out whatever you can about them. Sometimes you can find something out, sometimes you can't.

 

But given that, when I actually have a conversation with somebody, whether this is for an interview, whether this is for a job, whether this is for a sale or for anything else, the biggest thing is ask ask questions.

 

I ask lots of questions all the time.

 

Bigger questions. A lot of times, bigger questions. Yeah. Yeah. When I would interview people for jobs, I did not ask the typical interview, like, job interview questions. I ask questions that are getting to the person's character.

 

Mhmm. And I do the same thing. Like, when I'm trying to figure out if there's somebody that wants to work with me, I call it airport test. I'm trying to figure out is this somebody that because we would travel a lot.

 

And we had clients all over the country, so we would have to fly all over the country different times of the year, is this somebody that if we get stuck in the airport, because of weather or whatever, and we're stuck in the airport for hours at a time, maybe get stuck in some small town overnight.

 

Can I have a conversation with somebody or have to eat in some hole in the wall restaurant and be good to be able to have a conversation?

 

This person is not crazy. This person you know, I could leave my look with them, go to the bathroom, and I won't get a tap tap from TSA.

 

You know? All of those things. So I do the airport test, because I'm asking questions that get at who is this person at their core.

 

I ask a lot of questions. The character of their character, you might say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, after all, that's all you've got, your character because well, like you say, your legacy is your brand.

 

Yeah. So you've got what you leave behind how people interpret that for better and for worse, that's the unfortunate reality of perception becoming somebody's reality.

 

Doesn't have to be yours, but but it definitely plays a role. Yes. You've gotta take care of your brand just like anything else and how people interpret you.

 

Yeah. Yeah. Ben And everybody has a brand whether you know it or not. Because your brand is your rep. It's what people say about you when you're not in a room.

 

That's what Jeff Bezos said that about what a brand is, and everybody has 1. Yeah. I never heard that. I like that. Nikki, let's take a break for a second and we'll be right back on transacting value.

 

Hey, y'all. It's Jewel here with the B and The Bear creations. We specialize in custom tumblers, t shirts, cardi owls and anything else you can think of.

 

If you are looking to order a custom item for yourself or for someone else as a gift, please go find me Facebook and shoot me a message, and we'll get that ordered started for you.

 

Again, you can find me at the b and the Bear creations on Facebook. I look forward to helping you create your custom item. So to the point you made about Jeff Bezos though, I haven't heard that quote before.

 

I really like it though. The fact that what makes everybody unique is ultimately what's gonna carry their reputation, relationships, communication capability, But it it really starts with how you view yourself.

 

The warrior within here's what you say, you know. So in that, I guess, What's your opinion on people being who they thought they needed to be, not who they actually are?

 

The best way that I could describe this would be really just sharing how I came into my business versus how I show up now. Sure. Please.

 

So I had this conversation with my husband recently. And 1 of the things that I do to share value with with people is I do live videos. And on social media, where I'm just kind of sharing tips, sharing information to help people.

 

And I've been doing this for a long time. For years. And when I first started, this is when I was still in my 9 to 5 job, and I was doing the business on the side.

 

And so I was still trying to figure everything out. And I was learning from all these people that I looked up to that I thought.

 

And because I was trying to fast track everything. Like, go go go stop just basically mimicked what I saw them doing. Mhmm. And my husband said that he hated when I would do my live.

 

He said, did you ever notice that whenever you would go live, I would go in another room of the house and shut the door. And I was like, what? I mean, that's just crazy. Ever really noticed that. He said, yeah.

 

He said, because I hate it to hear your voice. When you would go live. I was like, oh, that's harsh, dude. Yeah. Okay. He said because I didn't recognize who you were. He said you didn't sound like you. You didn't look like you.

 

I had this big piece of plywood that was behind me as my background that I had covered in contact paper that looked like if you ever watched those home improvement shows, like, on HGTV, like, I love Ship and Joanna Gaines.

 

Uh-huh. And they are always talking about Shiplap. My daughter loves Shiplap.

 

Like, she talks she loves them. She thinks Chip and Joanna are like her buddies. She talks about them like they live next door. But they are always using ShipLab. And so it looked like the whitewashed shipwax behind me.

 

It was like, that's not that I like it, but it's not really me. Yeah. I'm much more, like, this is me. Yeah. Sure. Right? But that's what I had behind me. And I was still dressing, like, the corporate girl, which is also not me.

 

And I talked, like, I had my corporate voice on, which is a voice that I kind of developed over time because a lot of times I was showing up into rooms where I was the most senior person, and I would bring my team with me who worked for me.

 

And I would be presenting to companies that we were selling to, Fortune 50 companies, and presenting to a room of people who did not look like me. Mhmm. Just being straight up, a room full of white men.

 

I'm a black woman, and my team would often be men. And when I walk into the room, the people we were presenting to would ask questions of my team thinking that somebody on my team was the most senior person.

 

And then they would look to me for the answer, like, what do you want us to say? And then that's when I would get the -- Oh. -- recognition, like, oh, this oh, you're Uber. We should be talking to.

 

So I developed this voice to basically command authority and to also put people at ease. And so I had a combination of that voice and the voice that I would hear from the people I was mimicking that I was learning from.

 

Who tended to be white women who were being successful because there weren't really people who looked like me who were at the level of the success that I was thriving for -- Sure.

 

-- in my space. And so my husband was like, you didn't you were nothing like you. So I give you that picture so you could imagine how I was not being me at all.

 

Now if you watch any of my videos, I'm wearing a bold lipstick color Like, today, I'm wearing my red. I'm normally either wearing red or, like, a fuchsia, sometimes purple.

 

I'm wearing bright colors normally. My background is pictures of high heels and bright colors. That's what's on my wall in my office. And I'm talking like, I'm talking to you right now. Like, we're just having a conversation.

 

Like, we're buddies. Right? And I talk with my hands because that's how I normally talk. So many people do that. They are showing up the way that they feel like they have to to be accepted to make other people feel comfortable.

 

To be respected, to be, you know, or the way that they think they have to in order to be successful, or to get people to buy from them, or whatever it is.

 

For what they've seen other people do who have reached whatever it is that they think that they are trying to reach.

 

And the truth is, I was not making money back then. People can't see you until you see you. Once I started showing a heck up as really me, People were like, oh my gosh.

 

I love you. I want some of you. Whatever that is that you're selling, sign me up. It's a disservice, I think, to individuals and value that people as individuals bring to the table.

 

But I think now, to your point, It's going to be an industrial shift in the workplace. Wherever that workplace is, right, in a school environment for all kids.

 

In a corporate environment, say for adults, public settings, doesn't matter. But over the last, what? 15 years, maybe a little more now. People are becoming more unique in public.

 

But I think people are also starting to identify that it's not hurting productivity as much as everybody thought it would. At least it doesn't seem to be so far. It's not making things less efficient.

 

It's not making things less effective. It's not decreasing profit margins. In fact, in some cases, it's increasing productivity, it's increasing revenue, it's increasing workplace morale to be a little bit more individual.

 

Absolutely. Or at least be more confident feeling individual. So in that over the next call it 20 years, All of the kids, yours mine. For example, their age is all the kids that are gonna be growing up in that environment.

 

I think there's some thresholds like you gotta work through and adjust and reason through different social morals or values and boundaries, but it's still okay to compromise some of that with You know what?

 

Who are you as a person and don't be afraid to be that person? Because what you bring is specific and unique to you and, ultimately, that's what's gonna make you at the very least feel fulfilled if not actually be successful.

 

So -- Absolutely. -- I couldn't have said it better. And I frankly couldn't have thought of a better way to tie us out to this last segment of the show.

 

It's called developing character. The developing character. Where to play? Just like Alright. So here's how it works. I'm gonna ask you 3 questions, and it's all entirely from your perspective entirely about you.

 

But you only need to be as vulnerable as you wanna be. So here's how this works. Question number 1, what were some of your values as a teenager then?

 

So I mentioned my stepdad, and my sister and I were just talking about this this week. A lot of the things that we say to our kids are things that we heard him say and that we embodied in that age range from him.

 

And 1 of the things that I can always hear him in my head saying is if you think it's gonna get you in trouble, if you think it's gonna hurt somebody, Don't do it.

 

If you think it might get you in trouble, if you think it might hurt somebody, don't do it.

 

And that has stuck with me because it always makes me think about that there are consequences to your actions. Yep. And so even if you are questioning, you know, we live in a culture now where there's a lot of playing on the edge.

 

There's a lot of gray area with things. Mhmm. And with him, he was very black and white he would always tell us no if, no ands, no maybes. You know? And so a lot of things are still very clear.

 

You know in here if something is right or wrong. Mhmm. And that also got me to really trust myself, to trust my knowing. And that has stuck with me. So that's carried over into a lot of areas.

 

I mean, self reliance and discernment is the mark of maturity in my opinion. Right? Like, you're gonna learn to be able to listen as you get older and eventually value it more, but that's relative to each person.

 

To be able to move out on your own and survive as an individual, you've at least got understand, okay, here's what I want, what I don't want, what's good, what's bad, what's hot, what's cold.

 

Don't eat that hot pocket for another 30 seconds, whatever discernment level applies in your life at that point.

 

But, yeah, having self reliance and being able to trust yourself goes a long way too. And that, like I said, I think is the ultimate mark of maturity. However, or we're talking about what that turns into question number 2.

 

What are some of your values now that you try to embody and pass on? So I think that the downside to that that he was keeping us about, if you think it can get you in trouble, don't do it, it had me playing safe.

 

For a lot of my life. Mhmm. Because I would worry about, like, oh, this might get me in trouble and me not do it. So I wouldn't take risks in a lot of areas.

 

And so now I am much more about I still don't wanna do anything that's gonna hurt anybody. And, of course, I'm not gonna do anything that is going to, you know, nothing that's illegal or anything like that.

 

But outside of those things, I also have to trust that if there's something that I know that I want, sometimes that feeling of like this might get me in trouble is really just fear.

 

Mhmm. And so now we have a mantra in our household with my husband and my daughter.

 

Don't talk about it, be about it. We even have it on a shirt. My daughter is a dancer, and so we have season competition, and we have a family shirt for when she dances that we wear and that's on the back of it.

 

Oh, that's cool. And that's what we're about. If there's something that you want, don't just talk about it. Be about it. Go do it. Go, you know, I'm wearing the shirt today. Be great. Mhmm.

 

Like, go be great. Don't just talk about it. Go do it. And it's I was talking about the airport test. 1 of the things that the characteristics or the traits that I was looking for is I was looking for people who were actively ambitious.

 

Mhmm. Don't just talk about that 1 day I wanna, 1 day I I wish I could. Like, what are you actively doing right now towards that? It was a character trait I was looking for in my mate too.

 

Like, I actually had a list of things I was looking for that was on it. It's on my list of things I'm looking for in an ideal client. So it carries through and everything for me. Yeah. It makes perfect sense.

 

To your point understanding your tolerance and your threshold for risk, when you learn that, I don't know. It's relative and subjective. But when you learn that as it happens, It's a total game changer for the rest of your life.

 

Like you said, you go from play and it's safe to understanding based on your, like I said, relative tolerance and threshold. It's risk, I'm willing to assume now.

 

And then you venture out. And I think that's when you really start to grow as a person. Yeah. Yeah. That's huge. It it doesn't have to be anything huge. Like, it can it's just it's a practice. It's like building up a muscle of courage.

 

Mhmm. We just my sister and I just went to we did a spa day together for her birthday this week, and they had a cold plunge pool. Like, freezing cold water. And she was like, I'm not doing that. I'm going in the hot tub.

 

I was like, I'm gonna do it. And she was like, I dare you. I was like, you don't need to dare me. I'm a do it. And I just jumped in, and it was freezing. I bet. And I say, I I willed myself to stay in it for at least a minute.

 

Oh, that's a long time. That's a long time. Yeah. But I was like, it's doing things like that. That build up that courage. Because before, I would have been like, that's crazy.

 

I'm not, like, who does that? Mhmm. I do now. There you go. Because it builds up that courage. It it tells my brain, like, you can do things that you might be afraid to do, and then it translates into other areas.

 

When I get afraid to ask somebody to buy for me. I'm like, no. You can do that. You you do other stuff that's way scarier than that.

 

Yep. Courage is something I keep up here on my wall because there's a lot of things that I found myself in or that I just inadvertently get into that I'm unsure of or don't have confidence around, especially for the first time.

 

Right? But even some subsequent opportunities where I just second guess it.

 

Because I haven't had the feedback yet. I don't understand the blind spots I've got. Who knows? But sometimes within certain controls and boundaries, you've just to say fuck it and go for it, you know?

 

And that's when you learn. Yeah. Now how you implement that may affect who you become, which takes me to question 3. How do you see your values changing over the next 20 years?

 

I say this, and I teach this, and I learned it from 1 of my mentors. I am open to receive. And what that means to me is that once I have decided the things that I want, and it changes, off, like, it not changed, but it evolved.

 

So I experience new things, and it helps me to refine what it is that I want. A great example of that is I mentioned I had a list for what I was looking for in my mate.

 

Mhmm. It started when I was in college. 1 of my friends got dumped by a guy And we had 1 of those nights in the dorm room with a bunch of girls probably drinking more than we should have.

 

And all of us decided, you know, forget him. What do you really want in a guy, the next guy?

 

What does he need to have? Because we're gonna find him for you. And so we had her make a list. And we were like, okay. Let's all make a list of what we want in the perfect guy. So I made my list, and I kept my list.

 

I don't know what the rest of them did, but I kept my list. And I had it for years. And I had scratch throughs and, you know, little marks in it and, you know, updates to it. And I got the guy that was on my list -- Mhmm.

 

-- on a blind date, and that's what I'm married to today. But it evolved over time. What I wanted evolved over time as I experienced life and things happened, and I had some frog along the way.

 

So I got my prints. And so what that taught me was to be open to receiving what comes to me once I'm clear on what it is that I want.

 

And what I valued back then in college changed as I experienced other things coming to me. In the beginning in college, I was like, oh, he's gotta be 6 foot 3 at least.

 

He's gotta be, you know, He's gotta have this, this, this, and this, and it changed. But I was open to receiving what that could look like as I allow myself to receive what came to me once I was clear on what I wanted.

 

Mhmm. Yeah. Conviction. Discernment, clarity, yeah, all the above. I don't think they really disappear. You know, those trends and those patterns as time goes on, will continue to repeat as being valuable for sure.

 

But I I really appreciate you taking the opportunity out of your day just to come and be a little bit vulnerable on you know, a little more than just your own selling points, but who you are as a person.

 

And and I think that alone takes some courage. So thank you for that. Thanks for having me.

 

Yeah. No problem. And now if anybody wants to reach out to you, if they want to get in touch with you, say, for example, for your business, nichely or consulting or just because they're also a mom and want somebody to talk to.

 

Any of the above, how do people get in touch with you? I'm on Facebook. The easiest way to find me is go to nikki bradley dot net.

 

All of my social media connections are on my website. And that's the easiest way. If you are a woman who has a business and you want the community we were talking about earlier, I do have a free Facebook group.

 

Where I do free trainings in there, and it's all about getting connected with other women who are trying to do what you're doing.

 

You can go to join nikki d dot com, NIKKI, the letter b dot com, and that'll take you straight to the Facebook group.

 

Perfect. And you're open to email as well? The fastest way to get in contact with me is sending a message through social either DMing me or sending me something through messenger.

 

And all those links are on my website. So that's the fastest way. I'm just being transparent, I'm not as fast on email. But I'm but faster on the DM. Yeah. No problem at all.

 

And for anybody else, if it's just easier for you who's been following along with transacting value, feel free to reach out to us. And we can get you in touch with Nikki as well, and then you guys can link up from there.

 

But again, Nikki, I appreciate your time. I appreciate contribution and and willingness to be vulnerable. So again, thank you very much. Thanks for having me. Definitely not a problem at all.

 

And folks, Thank you for listening in to our core values for October of vision, authenticity, responsibility. And you know what? I wanna thank Jim Ron, and I wanna thank Nikki's family, and I wanna thank Nikki's college friends.

 

For giving us all the inspiration for this conversation because, frankly, without all of those, it wouldn't have been anywhere near as exciting as it was.

 

So Thank you to you guys. And to our show partners, Keystone Farmers Market, the BE and The Bear creations, and, obviously, Buzzprault, thank you for your distribution.

 

But folks, if you're interested in joining our conversation or you wanna discover our other interviews, check out transacting value podcast dot com.

 

Remember, you can follow along on social media too or search transacting value podcast on any search engine.

 

That'll take you to all of our links as well. Now we'll continue to stream new interviews every Monday at 9AM Eastern Standard Time on all your favorite podcasting platforms. But until next time, that was transacting.