The end, everyone gets buried alone.

 

You have a a pine box and it's for you and it's not for anybody else. It's for you. You can't sit there and live for everybody else and not live for yourself. Like, it none of it's gonna matter in the end.

 

So why not just face through it and enjoy your life. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to transacting value where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives. To unite over shared values.

 

Our theme for 20 22 is the character of your character. So who you see when you look your values in the mirror? Today, we're talking our October core values of vision, authenticity, and responsibility with miss Angelina Abrew.

 

Now if you're new to the podcast though, welcoming and and if you're a continuing listener, welcome back. But without further ado, folks on Porter, I'm your host.

 

And this is transacting value. Alright, Angelina. First off, let me just say I appreciate you taking some time out of your life, out of your schedule, while you're at home and just sort of enjoying your you time to come in and talk.

 

So how are you? I am. I'm here, Josh. I am Peter. Yeah. Yeah. I did that. Oh my goodness. I I really appreciate you having me on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

 

Now for everybody listening, so we met Angelina and I. We met in college 15 some years ago now. So a lot's changed. Like, in the world, in life, I'm sure for both of us, but primarily, since anybody listening can't see you, Who are you?

 

A little bit about yourself so people know who to listen to. Where were you born? What are your interests? You know, little things.

 

I was born in New York, Brooklyn, New York. I had lived in Dominican Republic, for a few years after I was born, English, Florida, been in Florida since 91, I believe, And typical typical Florida girl that's near the beach.

 

I went out with my friend. And, obviously, went to college, we both went to the same deal.

 

Mhmm. And after that, I kinda just went back home. Things were going kinda crazy in my life. And then I I went back to Tampa. And I went back and I got my bachelor's degree.

 

So got that done, came back home, and now I'm just kinda working. Working and living. Yeah. I hear that. And congratulations. Right? It's especially difficult, I think, when you take a break in school to go back, let alone to finish.

 

So that's huge. Congratulations. I mean, it's it's more of a when you screw up and you you gotta go home and then kinda start yourself over again. Yeah. III did that and luckily came on top.

 

Yeah. Was able to, you know, get myself straightened back on track, finished my degree, and, you know, try to find a career path in that field. What was the field? It was in psychology. I I got my my bachelor's degree in psychology.

 

My my dream was, of course, to be a psychologist, to active duty -- Mhmm. -- combat active duty combat, military combat soldiers. And it didn't work out that way? Mhmm. Exactly. I'm an insurance.

 

So a world's a way of -- Okay. -- what I wanted to do, but but kinda base of it is that I wanted to help people. And I still -- Still 11. -- still a little too bad. So I feel like I still I still lucked out. Yeah. Good.

 

Good. Now I've got a question for you that a few questions for you that are a little bit more fitting to present day It's Halloween. Alright. So there's all sorts of spooky things happening in the world just by virtue of the season.

 

Products change in the stores, the atmosphere changes as you walk around places in public, decorations go up, So I've got a couple questions for you first off.

 

Before we get into anything else -- No. -- I feel like it's obligatory. Right? If you had to pick and this may be a large ask, but let's just say, if you had to pick your favorite Halloween themed movie.

 

What would you pick? Okay. So okay. Hey. I need to process just by saying, like, Halloween is my favorite holiday if we need to.

 

Hands out. I love everything that's even even more spoken And I do love a good yeah. I do love a good Halloween movie, but I'm gonna I'm gonna stick to, like, my childhood and I'll just say hope is focus.

 

Like, I a hundred percent, like, focus focus has as far back as, like, for a member, it has always been my favorite Halloween would be mainly because I mean, obviously, there's, like, witches and, you know, undead coming back and I couldn't step on an asphalt street for weeks until I figured out it was safe.

 

You know what I mean? Like, that movie -- Really? -- it it was it was pivotal in my growing up Halloween seasonal years. Yeah. Hocus pocus is exactly what I was gonna say. Yeah. I I just I love it.

 

I mean, even like, I don't I know I don't know if people really think about it, but, like, even the town they were in, like, I've always wanted to live in a town like that and then, like, It's really cute and quaint and there's a lot of history in it.

 

And it was just I don't know. For some reason, it just really stuck to me.

 

And I have a I have a sister-in-law. Who's a witch? She is actually. There you go. That'll do it. It is. That'll do it. Yeah. So I I just add my niece. So, like, I have a family of witches in here.

 

So, like, it was just always such a feel good movie And to me, it kind of embodies the spirit of college. Yeah. Like, in the end, you're with your family and the ones you love. And And it's almost sort of like an innocent fun too.

 

It's not like it's a malicious purge kind of Right. Yeah. Mean aside from killing witches at the very end. Well, I mean Yeah. Yeah. There's give and take. But, like, overall, You know?

 

Yeah. It's gonna be a little bit of violent. Yeah. There's gonna be a little bit of violent. Well, I mean, that's sort of the that's the seduction of pessimism. Like, it's just so much more appealing to have something there.

 

Even if it's small, something. But what we're talking about smaller things then, Halloween snack of choice. What do you got? Okay. So let me unpopular opinion. The first name, but I don't.

 

But I don't. I There's so many, I don't. I never understood the lure of candy corn. Yeah. I -- Okay. -- I personally think that they have reused the same batch of candy corn for the last hundred years, and it's disgusting.

 

I don't know where it goes when it doesn't sell. So that's plausible. Exactly. Where does it go? Yeah. Where does it go to?

 

Is there like is there like a landfill, just full of them, and we just, like, reuse it later on every year. It's ugh. And then I don't know if you've seen those things as popcorn ball thing? What do you mean? So I don't know.

 

They're, like, balls of popcorn. Oh, like, the like, a baseball size Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. No. Not about that. That's fair. I don't like the most traffic. But, like, I wanna say See, because I'm I'm a dark chocolate guy.

 

So Any Halloween candy, anything that has dark chocolate, I'll pick over anything else. Well, I mean, your traditional, like, you know, your weekly cubs or her sheep or her sheep bars and all that stuff.

 

But I guess, would it be weird if, like, Sider is 1 of them? I mean, I guess no. Like, when you have parties I will say to clarify, at every single elementary school snack time that I was ever a part of in elementary school.

 

If the teacher only came back with drinks, I'd be pissed. So does cider count as a snack? I say no. But we can count it here. Gonna have to stick with the chocolate.

 

I'm just gonna stick with the chocolate then because, I guess, that was it, like I mean, I was able to go trick or treating and stuff, and I would not keep the sugary sour stuff or anything like chocolate related, I would always see.

 

There.

 

Yeah. But for some reason, I keep thinking I keep thinking back to, like, spider because it's fall. Okay. Alright. Well then so I'll I'll meet you there then. I'll meet you there then, talking about cider. Have you ever heard of gluvan?

 

A what? It's called gluvan. No. I have not. So it's wine based, usually red wine, and it's essentially spiced wine, a mulled wine that is a German Christmas y type drink. But -- Yeah. -- I I like it more for Halloween time.

 

Where basically not in any particular portions, you take a bottle of red wine, get it to simmer on the stove, and then essentially put in whatever herbs and fall type spices or dried fruits or whatever you want, and you let it just simmer altogether, and then you ladle it out, serve it warm, serve it hot.

 

I feel like at some point in my childhood, I've had that, and I just didn't know.

 

Maybe. Maybe. But, yeah, it's it's pretty good too. What about last last question here? Let's pick a good 1. What about okay. This is heavy. And I I hold this pretty dear to me.

 

What is your opinion of the monsters? The the TV show. Yeah. Yeah. Like Herman Eddie. Yeah. So okay. So little back story. I'm the youngest of 6 So my family had, like, a little 3 d bunch thing. So 3 and 3 -- Mhmm.

 

-- stuck together, made us. And so I'm the youngest. My oldest sister is almost 50, wow. My parents yeah. My parents are in their late seventies, early in late seventies. Oh, okay. So I was exposed to the monster at a very young age.

 

Mhmm. So and it was on black and white. Sure. Yeah. I love that show so much. So much. Like, it's I don't know. It it was really interesting Like, I I was talking with my I wanted my mom about it probably, like, a few weeks ago.

 

And I said it was really funny because here is this family on Bostonburg Lane that they're just creepy looking and, like, odd.

 

So then every like so there were just kinda, like, regular people and then regular, quote unquote, regular people around them are, like, oh my god. These people are free.

 

Yeah. But it's like it was really reminiscent of how society view differences as something, like, our outsider have something very negative. Yeah. And then when you actually knew who these people were, they were just good people.

 

And I I love I I'm I'm not sure how I really felt about when it went to color. Yeah. They transitioned it into color. I love the feel of the black and white. It was really funny.

 

And then you know that the actor that played from a monster also played in Texas County. Yeah. Which is He he was also and I wish I could remember his name now, but he was also the judge in my cousin Vinny. In that court case.

 

Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah. He had a a couple of supporting roles. But I agree with you. The show, I remember there was 1 episode where Herman, the dad, Frankenstein, essentially, told Eddie, the son, Vampire -- Mhmm.

 

-- I can't remember the details. I think like you said, the regular kids were bullying idiots school or something to that effect, and the absolutely hideous niece who was just a regular blonde and showed up in the house.

 

She was the best 1. Yeah. She showed up in the house and Her and Eddie start having this conversation about bullies at school, Herman comes in and basically says, don't let their opinion sway what you think of yourself.

 

You know, it doesn't matter what they think you look like or what you actually look like. It matters essentially your character.

 

Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value. Hey, y'all. It's Juules here with the b and the bear creations. We specialize in custom tumblers, t shirts, car decals, and anything else you can think of.

 

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Again, you can find me at the bee and the Bear creations on book. I look forward to helping you create your custom item. Harmon comes in and basically says, don't let their opinion sway what you think of yourself.

 

You know, it doesn't matter what they think you look like or what you actually look like. It matters essentially your character and and what you bring to the table and your sense of self.

 

And your self validation. You know, that that's 1 of the things that I didn't catch on to early on as a kid that now as an adult, I value about that show. Because there's a lot of subtleties that help.

 

I don't know that there's shows now that carry that outside of animated shows catered to kids, but that sort of I guess, aspect of, what do you call it, writer ship or those shows back in the sixties was just I don't know, more wholesome, but had more utility in the message they were trying to portray.

 

And 1 of the things that that you and I had discussed speaking of I guess, sort of overcoming your fears and validating yourself.

 

You know, I I think everybody kind of goes through that, but especially since I haven't really talked to you in the last 15 or so years.

 

I noticed it I noticed it in myself, at Leo because I didn't have really much of my own autonomy until I got there.

 

You know, I remember walking out of the apartments I don't remember where I was going, probably the cafeteria or something.

 

And just realizing, hold on now. I know I said I would go eat and meet these people to eat, but I could turn right right now down to the docks and not go.

 

Like, nobody's telling me I have to. Like, it was the first moment of clarity where I realized I had autonomy over my own decisions, and I was 18 certifiably an adult.

 

You know? Like, you can make your own decisions, kids, but like, could I? No. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. You know? Did you have anything like that? Did you notice any of that stuff?

 

Well, I really do. That's why I threw up in the end because I I, at the same time, I was 17. I just turned 18 -- Mhmm. -- when we when we got in. So it was, like, my birthday. I was, like, fresh fresh 18 year old.

 

Like Yeah. And I've never I've never been away from my family. My my family's in the same way close, but it's protective. And now you are in a whole different city around all these people I've never met before in my life.

 

You know, just we're 18 year olds, we're kids. We're gonna party. We're gonna have fun. We're gonna get in trouble. And I I was like, I'm free. I'm free to do whatever the hell I want. And I and I kinda I I definitely rode that way.

 

And I I don't know. I mean, it was a blessing and a lesson at the same time. Yeah. About, you know, when you're given all of this freedom and disability to just do whatever you want, what are you gonna do?

 

Mhmm. That's gonna take you to the next step? Are you just gonna, you know, sit around and, you know, do, like, mess around?

 

Are you gonna you're gonna take yourself seriously and, like, put yourself on a path and and start working. Yeah. You're in college, but you got classes to go to.

 

You got assignments to complete. You got path and demands that are are set before you, or you're just gonna go rage and party all weekend. Good class. You know, wake up with a hangover and say screw. I'm not going to my 9AM class.

 

And there's a lot of I'll go to next then. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, 1 thing I definitely learned in the end was don't ever don't register morning class. Don't take morning classes. Like, move your classes to the afternoon, like, Yeah.

 

Get your drinking done early. I mean, honestly, either which way, I can't change what happened in the past, but I am glad everything went the way it did because it led me to where I'm at.

 

Yeah. Yeah. And gratitude goes a long way for sure, especially being able I guess, to identify that it's okay to be grateful to yourself for making the mistakes that you made or the choices that you made or having the successes you had.

 

You know, that I think helps contribute to self esteem, self confidence, self validation, you know, like you don't need to measure or whatever relative level of success you have against anybody else unless you really want to, or you're competing in something.

 

You know, that sort of the natural framework of the event. But, you know, there was 1 time where were Henderson Hall. Yeah. I don't even know if it's still there.

 

But that was the name of a dormitory building. They're on the campus for anybody listening. Anyway, I remember we were sitting in there, and it was not anything special. Okay? You walk into the room.

 

It's all cinderblock walls and just sort of a like a vinyl or a linoleum type floor, real real cheaply built. And probably decades old even by the time we got there and it smelled like it. But community bathroom yeah.

 

I will I I you know, I'm glad we didn't stay there the whole time. But it it was good for what it was, you know, because you didn't have all the distractions, even that there are now. Twitter was just becoming a thing.

 

Facebook wasn't really super huge as it is now in comparison. I think it was starting at that time. Yeah. Just sort of gaining traction. And so, really, what we had was like our group, especially, was was music.

 

It was our own ability to entertain ourselves. You know, it was whatever conversations we brought up or video game systems we brought guitar hero just came out that took up a lot of time.

 

And then, you know, Captain Morgan, the Orphium, Ebor, and all sorts of other influences, castle, whatever else. So There were a lot of other ways I think that we chose to spend our time instead of class, but I agree.

 

It was it was definitely more of a what what would you call it? Social success. So there were a lot of things that we had to sort of replace our classes with if we wanted to.

 

But for the experience -- Mhmm. -- or I I don't know if it was worth all the money that we spent to learn the experience and to have it, but it was I'm still paying off about that.

 

Yeah. Me too. Yeah. But it was definitely worthwhile. All things because as a person, how much did you grow? If I could, it was possible.

 

To go back in time and experience something all over again, I would. Mhmm. Exactly the way we experienced it. Maybe make more adventures I grew so much from that mainly because I all went like like like, I I don't know. It's weird.

 

Like, you're you live with your family, you're in your hometown, you know, you have your high school friends and this and that, all of a sudden, you throw yourself into a situation where you're just far away from all of that.

 

You're away from your family. You're away from your friends. You're away from your old stomping job. You're away from everything that feels familiar to you.

 

And then to come to a place and be like, okay. I have to start this all over. I'll I'll never okay. I'll I'll never forget the orientation -- Mhmm. -- like, when we had to go find out who our roommates were.

 

Yeah. And or pick our roommates, technically, And so we were at the cafeteria, and I saw yvonne. Yeah. And she had a cool shirt on like, a cool thing and shirt on, and I have a full shirt on.

 

And I was like, I like your shirt. She's like, I like your shirt. So should we be roommates? And that was it. Yep. That was it. That's literally all it took. And I was just, like, how can you ever find yourself in a space again?

 

In this day and age, where you can meet people like that. Where it's just, like, physical interaction, you're just, like, hey, hey. Let's be friends. Yeah. You know, it it seems like so much work now than it was when we were younger.

 

And then on top of that, we just who just do the most random stuff? Yeah. Like, seriously, we would just go out go to Eber City, And and just kinda just a bunch of young dumb kids just having a good time.

 

Yeah. Just wandering around. And, like, there was no need for social media you know, there was no pressure -- Mhmm.

 

-- of social media as well. I think that's what was cool about our about our group -- Yeah. -- too. There wasn't really any I think the only peer pressure was to relax and be you.

 

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I think that's what was cool about our about our group -- Yeah. -- knew there wasn't really any I think the only peer pressure was to relax and be you. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.

 

I mean, I would love to do that. We gotta we gotta get on that technology. I would like to go back in time and just see that all over again. I don't know if I'd wanna watch it. I might Well, I just shake my head. But, you know yeah.

 

The sign of getting drunk. I can't drink anymore because of because of state legal way. Yeah. But just to all all the good times that we all had together, you know, when we were all together and and It was almost like Christmas.

 

It was really you you can't find that nowadays. Mhmm. You can't. Although, it's so busy. It's so different.

 

And there's so much oh, no. Like, not mistrans. But, like yeah. There's a discussion just kinda, like, you're always suspect of people. And it's just not you know, it's it's unfortunate, but I I am very grateful for what we have.

 

I'm very grateful for what we had. I I think it honestly, it made me It created, like, a core memory in me where I was, like, this is who I was at this time, and all I can do is just be a better version.

 

Of that girl -- Yeah. -- every day. Yeah. Yeah. Well, 1 time specifically. I remember going down to Orpheum. Down in so I think it was South Ebor. I don't remember exactly where it is. Maybe Saint Pete somewhere in that direction.

 

No. The Or the Oregon is Eborist. It is Ebor. Okay. Mhmm. Yeah. So I I remember standing in there though, super small, super dark, not a lot of space, and the seed had just gotten up on stage to play.

 

And we were listening, you know, they were sort of hitting their first couple warm up minutes and just feeling out the crowd, which was sort of small.

 

Right? But we had gotten dressed, a couple buddies and I, at least, there to support the seed.

 

The basis, who who was a good friend of all of ours as well, sort of in the same group, and I just remember at 1 point, I looked up on the stage as he was playing.

 

He looked down and saw our group, and he just sort of, like, gave this nod where it didn't require any words.

 

And he may as well have almost even just been in the rhythm. Maybe it wasn't even a head nod and we totally misinterpreted, but we took that to mean, okay, start the mosh pit.

 

As as soon as we sort of came out onto the floor, I remember this guy came out and I wasn't a big dude a time. I'm really not now, but I wasn't a big dude at the time either, maybe, I don't know, 01:45, 01:50, but 5 9.

 

Right? And so This guy comes out in, like, camo, cut off shorts, hair down to the middle of his back, maybe just below his shoulders, and he had to have been a solid 02:30.

 

Just a Jack dude like, oh, there's a pit. I'm in. You know? That was probably the first time I was like, alright, this is where I die.

 

This is where it ends. You know? Here it is. Yep. This is how it goes right now. Sure enough. He came in, he knocked me down, but then he helped me up. And that set the tone for the rest of the night.

 

Everybody was just themselves there to enjoy the music, there to enjoy the band, there to enjoy the atmosphere, nobody was really out to be assholes or just rough outs for the sake of it throwing punches or just I don't know how to describe being in civil.

 

Paired to that atmosphere. You know, there was still a mutual respect but a mutual lack of hostility, which is sort of a weird balance. I don't know that is publicly displayed now. Yeah.

 

No. Definitely. Yeah. I don't think it was after that. Yeah. Those are the 1 time Oh my god. Yeah. It was it was a weird sorta low, but I think what came out of that so I was over 4 and a half years because I threw a semester as well.

 

But But overall, I think what came out of that that was really important, that maybe you don't even need college for necessarily now, especially social media or or web 3, or however you're meeting friends, is you have to recognize what you bring to the table, you have to recognize your own bar, your own standards, your own you, you know, your values, your metric, and not really compare yourself to other people.

 

I think once you can do that, you can accomplish anything you want the rest of your life.

 

Oh, definitely. Yeah. It it gives you your own freedom. If I would've known that, then I feel like I would be a different person now. That's something that took me that's on line to to acquire -- Yeah.

 

-- and to to really and I think still, for this day, I I have moments of, like, insecurity and and struggle, but it's not I I wouldn't say the status of you, you know, how you got.

 

Yeah. It used to be so much worse. But it's not freezing anymore. You know? It's No. No. But, yeah, you're right.

 

I mean, it's I still get nervous, I still get insecure, all the same stuff but I know how to better manage it. I know better what makes me feel that way, so I either avoid it or address it, but I know how to now.

 

Yeah. I'm I'm better at that, I guess. I wouldn't say okay. I don't wanna say, like, masking it, but better control of it Yeah. To the point where it's not as as visible, you know, with with where I'm not, like, overtly nervous.

 

There's no sweaty palm. Well, think about all the people that you talk to now, let's say on any daily basis, average weekly basis, could you then do what you do now.

 

No. No. No. No. No. No. I would not be so great. I would not be so brief. Back then, I was I was really, like, open and happy. I think that's just because of, like, I was naive.

 

Yeah. To, like, the reality of life and how people can be. I was, like, kind of enclosed in a bubble. But I was always very forensic. Always ready to to meet new people, to talk to people.

 

But to do what I do, now, I couldn't imagine being brave enough to kinda deal with people in situations for magic. Well, so how did you build that urge? Just over time. I wish I knew. Was it intentional? I wish I do. Yeah.

 

I think I honestly I think I I got to a point because I I went through like, phases in my life where I went through, like, early depressive episode when I was, you know, younger and after after or or friend's desk, you know, that really that really messed me up for a little bit.

 

And it was just a lot of these waning phases where I'd kinda kinda, like, how the wave the tide goes in and out, and it comes back and goes right back out, and it was just very periodic.

 

And I think it took time. It was definitely time, but it was also the same time it was termination -- Yeah.

 

-- little bits of determination. So I would go from for example, I had a really depressive load. Got myself out of it. Okay. Well, let's let's add this habit. To help curtail and curb this negative phase I'm going through.

 

And it was just really tiny step. Yeah. Lot of really tiny steps that eventually I have to talk to myself and be, like, You know, if I'm doing something now, I'm like, well, you know what you're doing.

 

Sure. You're you're more than knowledgeable and experienced in what you're doing. There should be no need for fear no need for anxiousness or applicensiveness.

 

You should be well aware, and you're gonna be okay. And I have to have a little penny self talk with myself Yeah. Kinda get myself prepped and ready. And I think those self pops became a bit more back.

 

Like, they used to just be instead of, like, okay. Angelina get over it. Now it's, like, okay, Angelina. Gonna have these days. You're gonna have these moments, but you're not gonna feel as confident as you usually do.

 

All you can do is just take a step back take a deep breath and just go for it. You know? It it it could be worse. As long as I think, it could be so much Oh, yeah.

 

Plus to be so much worse. And it's just, like, I I had to slowly get through to myself to get over like, fear of myself, if that makes any sense. Well, acceptance. Yeah. I mean, that's that's really what it is.

 

Right? Yeah. You know, you Yeah. So for me, once I started to realize what I was good at and what I wasn't good at, I started to realize that it wasn't embodying or those factors, those skill sets, whatever.

 

Weren't embodying what I was picturing me to be like. I didn't match up to my own self image once I started actualizing and being critical and, you know, whatever of myself.

 

And so then I started to be afraid of accepting what made me me, which ultimately was, you know, any number of traits or values or whatever, but I mean, we hear about it now all the time.

 

Right? People talking about different orientations, and people talking about different preferences, and people talking about different social circles, and acceptance levels, and whatever.

 

However that applies or however this point applies, it's almost irrelevant. The fact that I think helps unify it is that everybody goes through it. You know, once -- Right.

 

-- once you grow up a little bit in your teens as an early adult in your fifties whenever and you start to think about what it is you bring to the table, what you're good at, what you're not good at, and you start to understand who you are, may not be who you thought you are.

 

That's scary. That moment, that's tough. But accepting it is it takes a fair amount of courage.

 

Yeah. I agree. I don't think I realize that everybody else in this world goes to the same thing that I did well until I was in my twenties. Yeah. Me too. I always felt, like, such a late late bloomer with everything.

 

And being 23, 24 years old and not really having a superset path what I wanted to do -- Mhmm. -- compared to all of those around me. Like, I always I'm not on the I was I was I've been hyper critical of myself since I was a child.

 

Yeah. And and I don't know if that's just, like, how the trauma coming in or if it's just it was just the way my brain started. I don't know.

 

Sure. I've always been really hyper critical of myself, and I always I have to compare to myself to somebody else, because I'm, like, report the same species, the same age, same gender. And we're basically in the same proximal area.

 

Yeah. I would assume that we would have to be on the same wavelength or path. And so to see other people on a way different path that I was, I'd be like the 1 like doing this right? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?

 

There was always a I don't know if you experienced this, but I was always have this, like, like, pressure, like, almost like a dome of pressure, like, from the society that you have to go to school.

 

Get married -- Mhmm. -- have kids, have that house with a light ticket sent, and you're and you're an older retriever.

 

You know, and and you live this American highlight. And it was, like, pushed on. So I'm, like, yeah. I'm gonna go to college. Okay. Well, I gotta fuck it up by my first few years. And so I I'm like, okay. Well, go back to call.

 

Can I give Mary? Gonna have gonna have a Apple pilot, you know? And to, like, see other people do that, and you're just like, what am I doing wrong? What am I gonna have to do? To get to the same level they're at. Yeah.

 

You know? And it was it was always just criticism I've had of myself where I was just constantly, like, comparing myself. And and it took me a very, very long time to realize that none of that shit mattered. Like, none of it mattered.

 

Yeah. At the end, everyone gets buried alone. You have a -- Mhmm. -- a pine box and it's for you and it's not for anybody else. It's for you. And you can't sit there and live for everybody else and not live for yourself.

 

Like, it none of it's gonna matter in the end. So why not just stay through it and enjoy your life? Yeah. Do what you wanna do. Where what you wanna wear. You know? Dress up how you wanna dress up. You know? Like, get that crazy job.

 

Don't get that job. Go to school for that. Don't go to school for that. Get married. Don't get married. How the kids don't have to. You know, just do review. And it it took me a good 20 25 years to really be like, okay.

 

Yeah. I guess I'm gonna have to do this for me. Like, there's no there's no instruction manual under I gotta take this pressure off myself to pick up at the end of the day, society doesn't really care.

 

It tells you it does, but we're society. You, me, every convict and hearing around us.

 

And we're all just trying to live individually for ourselves. And that whole pressure of having this American's high license I don't know. It's all b s. Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

 

Folks, I'm Porter, host of the transacting value podcast. You're being personally invited to increase empathy worldwide through shared values. Hey. But why do you say it like that? That's not what we talked about.

 

No. It's not Why do you call it an invitation? Look, guys, there are people around the world who have listened to our conversations with guests, and they've trusted us to build perspective over different topics through shared values.

 

The least we can do is invite them out to hear more of the content that they enjoy while still reminding them that season 1 and season 2 of the podcast are still listed under the old name as DYT the podcast.

 

Friday, that makes sense, Porter. But just tell them that if they go to YouTube and search survival dead y t, they can find all the old videos and playlists.

 

Along with season 1 and season 2. Right? Or if they want to hear some of the other interviews from those seasons that they can still find them everywhere their favorite podcasts are streamed just do it.

 

No. I got it. I let them know to stay in touch through the Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter pages by searching at the transacting Value Podcast. FOR COMMENTS, CRITICS, TOPIC IDAS OR TO BECOME GUESSED THEMSELVES.

 

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Every convict and hearing around us. And we're all just trying to live individually to ourselves.

 

And that whole pressure having this American highlights is I don't know. It's all be that. We're all just trying to live individually for ourselves. And that whole pressure of having this American's high license I don't know.

 

It's all be that. I mean, to a point, right, there's gotta be I agree, but where at least base value we may disagree is that there's got to be some sort of a foundational level of compliance. This society is a group thing.

 

If everybody did their own thing, nobody take care of each other. Because genuinely I wonder how it works out. Well, maybe so. Right? But I think genuinely, genuinely, generally, there are more selfish motivations than not.

 

And so to say, okay, well, I don't wanna wake up early in the morning to go pave that road, to go paint that crosswalk, to go put in that sewer line, But every construction worker, every dude taking out the trash, every mailman gets up at 3 in the morning to go to work.

 

You know what I mean? And that may not be what they want. So there's there's gotta be some some level of sacrifice and compliance.

 

But in terms of your personal life, I think that's why there's, I guess, a necessity to have essentially not 2 different lives because you can't, but 2 different perspectives on your life where 1 is from a professional point of view, you gotta sacrifice, you gotta do things you don't wanna do, and that's the reality of it.

 

Sometimes your dreams change, things happen and It just is. You know? The other aspect of that is, you can still be you and be true to yourself.

 

Right? How you live that may be the compromise? And to what extent you're willing to compromise, maybe, an individualized perspective, but I think there has to be a compromise some of the time.

 

I can't tattoo my face and expect to get a good job. It's just not gonna happen. Now I might be I mean, unless so much you're working remotely.

 

Like to work remotely. That's what I'm saying. You know, I might be able to do that if I find a way to compromise that with whatever social standard societal standards apply.

 

Like, okay, well, I'm gonna start my own company then, and it's gonna be for face painting. What are you gonna do? Like, I'm marketing now, and it's fine. But you gotta find a way to compromise it, not necessarily give it up.

 

There's a guy that comes to mind, maybe you've heard of him, chances are you have? He was a knight, like wearing armor, he was a knight, and it was just him and just his horse.

 

As everybody else saw him, anyway, except for 1 of his friends, but all things considered, in his own head, he was saving the war. Right? This guy, Donquihote de la Mancha, was his name.

 

And his perception, if you're unfamiliar with the story, Was that he was a knight, saving the damsel in distress, going around, practicing Shivalrous acts, doing his thing, and everybody else saw him as the crazy old guy in town.

 

Because none of it was actually true. But the premise, though, is 1 perspective makes all the difference not that it's the reality, but it's definitely a perception of it.

 

And 2, you've gotta find value in yourself because other people aren't gonna give it to you just because.

 

In fact, they may take it from you just because. So learning to rely on yourself, I think, is a huge, huge aspect. And however you get it, like, for us, it sounds like in our case wasn't until 2 decades into life.

 

But, you know, maybe you get it younger, maybe you get it older. Either way, that doesn't matter. Maybe you figure it out in your fifties or whatever that means, figure it out in your fifties.

 

And now you're like, well, these kids are figuring out in their twenties. I'm way behind. Cares. You know, oh, I'm 17 years old, and all these kids that are 13 making millions on YouTube, I'm way behind who cares?

 

You know what I mean? Colonel Sanders started KFC 54 years old? Yeah. You know, it doesn't matter. I think it's more applicable to psychology, then maybe reality, but it's like a time lapse.

 

You know, when you're when you're learning about yourself, And I'll I'll just use those couple years that Leo in our case to to commonize this. But when you're learning about yourself, It's almost like the world stops revolving.

 

You know, you go to bed every night, you get up each morning, the rotations still happen, yada yada yada, whatever. But it's almost like the years stop.

 

And you just learn and grow with people in in those weird sort of moments when Collectively, you're in the zone, feeling each other out, and learning to be yourselves, and accepting of yourselves in each other.

 

But then what happens? You graduate. Sign my yearbook, call me this summer, keep in touch part ways.

 

But when it comes to college, like, that's a pivotal time in life, in my opinion, where, psychologically, you're growing way more than you did before because you're in control of it.

 

Usually. Yeah. And so then what? We haven't talked in 15 years, but all things considered I might as well have seen you last weekend as far as this conversation goes.

 

It's like a weird time lapse, you know, where even though time keeps going, it's really just like a moment passed.

 

You know And that's what it felt like. Yeah. Like, saying, you know, it felt like a moment in time that I I got to experience with freedom. And grow and learn about myself -- Yeah.

 

-- just for that moment. You know? And then afterwards. Time kind of went back and it was very like, as you said, it was very, like, time to stop, but I was still growing and learning Not like St.

 

Leo. I felt like St. Leo was the whole experience. I was I was actively experiencing this growth.

 

Yeah. And so that's absolutely. So Yeah. And maybe that's a good different differentiating factor too. But the majority of life tends to be passive acquisition and growth. But it's it's the active moments, I think, that stick with yeah.

 

Yeah. And another of those active moments are what makes you you. Yeah. All of them at each at each stage of your life. So so even as recent as, like, I wanna say 20 16 20.

 

20 15, 20 17. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. Mhmm. So that was another kind of pivotal moment in my life. Where, you know, the 1 person or the 1 parental person who has lapsed is going through something very devastating.

 

And and life changing. And you didn't know there were so many unknowns at that point. And it I was very active actively there -- Present. -- very pleasant. Yeah. Compared to how I was prior to that happening. Yeah. For sure. I agree.

 

You know, I found this quote from King Leer, which if anybody's a a Shakespeare fan, I'm talking about the play, not any particular person in real life here. But there's a quote, actually, I saw it on on 1 of your profiles online.

 

I think it sort of exemplifies this, not to read the whole thing because it's like a paragraph that she put out there, but but what I think is cool about it and what I think is applicable about it is he says, so we'll live and pray and sing and tell old tales and laugh at gilded butterflies and hear poor rogue talk of court news, and we'll talk with them too.

 

Who loses and who wins, who's in, and who's out, and take upon the mystery of things as if we're god's spies.

 

I think that's the active presence you're sort of referring to that the crazy thing is, even in this, what is that, seventeenth century, everything you're describing still applied. You know what I mean?

 

What we're talking in terms of time sort of not changing things too much or changing them entirely, I think there's certain concepts, certain precepts that when you're talking about socially experiencing life or turning friends into family, that it doesn't change.

 

It's no longer a theory or a maybe, it's a definite and it happens and it has been for centuries, and it's the constant, as long as you're willing to active participate.

 

And and I think that's sort of the threshold that I don't know if you can teach that. I think you just have to experience it and learn it in hindsight, but Yeah. But you're right. Everything's in hindsight. Yeah.

 

Yeah. That's that's a powerful point to make too. Now saying that, That actually brings us up to the last segment of the show. It's called developing character. Developing character. I'm gonna play? I'm down. So here's how this works.

 

Like we just said, the majority of these topics are better at experienced in hindsight. So now we're gonna talk about your perspective of your own values with 3 questions. Here's how it works. First question. How do you now, presently?

 

How do you view your values from when you were a teenager? Okay. So remember how I said that I was very naive? Yeah. I was very I was so naive. I was such a naive child. I think I was so the world wasn't big then. You know? Mhmm.

 

It was very small and very compact, and it it didn't It doesn't have the the substance that it does now. But my view, it was so small. I I kind of wish I could tell her, like, the world is so much so much fucking bigger than you think.

 

It is so much bigger. And that there there's so much more to what you say and what you do than you say. Yeah. So I was felt like a very small fish in a very small pond back then -- Yeah.

 

-- without realizing that that pond, technically, is just a little side piece that connects to a massive lake that has a a, you know, reverse system right next to it.

 

It's like going out straight into the ocean. So it's so much it's so much bigger now. And I don't think I guess, it was still so small. Just very small and and very it was still fragile back then too, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I agree.

 

So it wasn't it's a lot tougher now these days. That's why a lot tougher these days. A Brazilian scores a long way, but you only get it 1 way. Yeah. III just think that it was there were so many unknowns that she didn't know then. Mhmm.

 

And compared to now, I I think I mean, it's good, I guess, to have that, being that creativity to, like, have you know, not have all these experiences and not just be exposed to so many things because I could've just screwed your childhood.

 

But it wouldn't have hurt just to know a little bit more. Yeah.

 

Or to be more aware. Yeah. I just wasn't as aware. I don't think that was my thing. I think that makes a lot of sense. That's just part of growing up, but I guess that brings us to question 2 then. What are some of your values now?

 

Family family and and, I mean, I don't just it doesn't have to be blood, you know, family in which way, be it, your long time labor, be it your brothers in the military with you, you know, be it your friend, close friends, confidantes, but family, and to to have that and that connection and that groundness.

 

With the family and loyalty. So so friends and family, those are my main big things.

 

And then just being honest and true to yourself, you only have this 1 life, and you can't waste it. Not being you. Yeah. The most important thing. Question 3, how do you view those values changing over, say, the next 20 years.

 

If I have, but I have my own family, I wonder if that would probably make me a bit more hope or or wishful of wanting that smaller pond so I can protect my family.

 

But I hope that I can give my kids a better experience than what I had at least for that social media for a while.

 

Yeah. Give them a little bit of of real life out there experience. And I think if anything that having that family will bring my family that I currently have a lot closer together.

 

Yeah. It's too good right now. So bright. Yeah. Well, I appreciate you taking some time out to come in and talk on the show, obviously, it was cool to catch up too.

 

If anybody else wants to reach out to you or if they've got you know, similar stories or for that matter, anybody else from Leo that might eventually hear this that wants to get in touch.

 

What are some ways people can reach out to you? I mean, if you're already friends with me on social media, finally, if not, they should hit you up and find me. Alright. That's fun. And is there ever in Normandy, Florida?

 

You know, take a walk around, you might see me. If not, Oh, wow. Alright. Cool. Cool. I wish I was social as as everybody else does. But Oh, you gotta find your own groove? You wanna find me. You'll find me. Yeah.

 

You gotta find your own groove. Yeah. So anybody that wants to get in touch with Angelina, feel free to reach out to us here, survival dad, y t at g mail dot com, reach out Facebook, other social media, and we'll get you guys in touch.

 

No problem. No worries. Otherwise, thank you very much for taking some time out of your day. Enjoy your holidays and all the downtime that you can get, hopefully.

 

Awesome. Yeah. Happy Halloween. Alright. You too. Happy Halloween. And folks thank you for listening in to our October core values of vision, authenticity, and responsibility.

 

Thank you to Man, in this case, I gotta thank the Monsters, any company that makes dark chocolate or chocolate in general, and then whoever came up with that first recipe Bluevine, I guess, for your inspiration. But, obviously, St.

 

Leo as well, you guys had a huge pivotal aspect to play, especially in this interview, but in our lives as a whole, So thank you all for your inspiration to our show partners, Keystone Farmers Market, to be in the bear creations, and obviously, anchor for your distribution as well.

 

But folks, if you're interested in joining our conversation, check out transacting value podcast dot com.

 

And remember, you can follow along on social media too. While we continue to stream new interviews every Monday at 9AM Eastern Standard Time on all your favorite podcasting platforms? Until next time, that was transacting value.