Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
0:05

Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for personal values when dealing with each other and even within ourselves. Where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries and finding belonging. My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are your people. This is why values still hold value. This is Transacting Value.

Chris Hunt:
0:34

Certain situations in life when they present themselves, you bring out your best self. You bring out maybe the some of those values that have been hidden for a little bit, or maybe some values that have just kind of gone a few layers back. But when you keep working on you and you have honest motives at hand, it's seriously powerful.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
0:54

Today on Transacting Value. Why'd you let yourself down? Why didn't you hold yourself to a higher standard? The disappointed dad speech that replays in every single one of our heads as we grow through life, but not because it was some demoralizing, debilitating speech. More because the mental imagery, the mental performance feeds our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Our newest contributor, Chris Hunt, is the Chief Inspiration Officer for a company out of the UK called , and he's talking all about how carving out and cleaning up our headspace, making values a priority and giving strength to our character helps us hold ourselves accountable, build keystone habits and become better versions of ourselves. To inspire us, our families and other people. Stay tuned, Chris. Nobody else can see you. Nobody really knows who you are, so let's just start at the beginning. Man, who are you? What's your story? What is ?

Chris Hunt:
1:54

Oh wow, Porter. How long have we got Talk to me? How long can I talk for?

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
1:59

Yeah, take a couple minutes, man, three to five minutes, and then we'll get rolling. Yeah.

Chris Hunt:
2:03

Now. First of all, thanks for having me tonight. So where we're recording this, it's actually 10 o'clock past 10 pm here in the UK, so let's get a little bit later. And do you know what, when I was invited onto this podcast, I couldn't wait, because the values that exemplify and the values that you talk about, the guests that you've had I'm all about that. Like I said, my name is Chris. Chris, I live in Reading, which is a small town outside of London in the UK. So for any UK listeners that are listening in, a big shout out to the UK and everyone else around the world listening in, look, my company's called and I'm going to.

Chris Hunt:
2:37

You know I'm a former Royal Marines Commando from the UK military Proud veteran, proud Royal Marines Commando. I set up my company about 10 years ago and, to be honest, when I left the Marines, I loved our two tours of Afghanistan. I was in Kandahar for six and a half months and Helmand for just short seven months. On my second tour, left in 2013, went into personal training Porter, and it's this. PT. Personal training was a really cool thing to go into. I wanted some flexibility. I wanted to utilize some of the skills that I'd learned anywhere in my time.

Chris Hunt:
3:09

What I quickly realized was, yeah, that, the physical realm and the body and getting people fit physically and losing body fat, getting strong, getting mobile, looking good, the aesthetics yeah, that was great. But we all have these passions, right, and sometimes passions are there and they stare at you and they call you. Sometimes passions are just on part of your journey and as you're finding yourself and you find it will float your boat, these passions has come out and what I found was, yeah, the physical game was cool, but when my passion lies is the mental game. It's everything about mental performance, the inner game, thoughts, your feelings and behaviors, and that's where was born from. So, yeah, look, in essence, what do I do? I help change the way people think, feeling, behave, to live their best life, their best life at home, their best life at work, their best life in the gym. You know, just putting all together thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and, yeah, I love what I did.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
4:03

Sick man, sick. You know there was a. It's funny you mentioned Helmand. I was there in 2012. So I don't know if we overlap or not, but while we were there, there were some Royal Marines there as well and they had a Chief Petty Officer Physical Trainer, which I assume was your role, and he invited us in. So I was active duty with the US Marine Corps at the time. For anybody new to the show, first off, thanks for joining. But yeah, at the time, the Royal Marines Chief Petty Officer Physical Trainer invited any of the Marines. I was in the infantry and so anybody that wasn't out on patrol is how about you guys combine and just work out with us? You know, whatever day you're available and we'll accommodate. And I said, okay, all right, let's be honest, this was winter, all right, 2012. Yeah, and I figured okay, we're all in a tent. How bad can it be? Right, man? I'll tell you, it was like 30 minutes in and I felt like we've been moving for three hours. It was intense.

Chris Hunt:
4:56

You got your money's worth.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
4:58

I did, I did. Yeah, it was. It was great, though. I mean you had people where at least we had people that were there in the early 20s up to, I'm guessing, into their fifties at least they look like it, and everybody participated. It wasn't like, hey, this is for the new guys, or let's keep all the guys that have some tenure set aside so they don't get embarrassed. I mean, it was equal. Everybody just put it out on the floor and I think there was something to be said for that. A lot of mutual respect, maybe I don't know, but that's what it seemed like to me. Is that like a foundation for you? One in all in?

Chris Hunt:
5:30

Yeah, I mean everyone gets stuck and everyone gets involved and you bring your weakest ones up. Simple as that. It's what it's about. I'll tell you a funny story If you've got a minute or so. I'll tell you a funny story on my first tour. So yeah, I was out in when I was in Kandahar that was the end of 09 to like March 10. March just be at the end of March 2010. And that was more like a close protection based tour Really cool, flying about in loads of helos, looking after a general really good fun. And then the second tour was in Helmand, and I'll never forget it. We were back in Bastien for a little bit, right, and Bastien massive. If anyone on this list is wondering what Bastien is, it was like a city, right, a city in the middle of Afghanistan, built up loads of stuff there. It was quite like a major operating base where all the supplies went in and a lot of people there. Anyway, we jogged up to the shop that was run by the US.

Chris Hunt:
6:23

Bastien was massive. People that are listening will go how big was this? I don't know, I can't remember the size of it, but it was huge and I'm going to put on a really, really bad American accent in a minute. But like, we jogged up right to the shop and we got told I just you know, up there around the court we're running for time. Why do they shop? We find the US shop. Anyway, we went up there to get a lot of protein, protein powder, typical British. We love our protein powder, especially when you train hard.

Chris Hunt:
6:47

We got there and they're asking where we're from and this American guy was like, oh my God, you guys run all the way up here for protein. And it was like I know it's so many American accent, but it was just funny because we jogged up, got our little, our tubs of protein and then jogged back. But there was a lot of respect. You know it was different cat badges, different genders, different ages, different experiences, but one thing that a place like that, as I'm sure you're aware it brings people together because the fact is you all go out the wire and hopefully well, not definitely you all want to come back. We know that's not the case.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
7:21

Yeah, no, no, definitely not the case. But there is a sense of realism. I think that doesn't get communicated normally outside of a war zone. That should. I think it carries a lot of lessons, and I don't just mean like the regular sort of stereotypical boy to man type isms. But it's different when you get into a combat environment or any type of military stress simulation or situation, yeah, where everything just gets stripped away because the stuff that doesn't matter doesn't matter. Yeah, you really get to see who people are as people, not as pretenses, not as a facade. And I'm curious when it comes to , is that part of your model to sort of strip us away, shipping people back? Yeah, yeah.

Chris Hunt:
8:08

Yeah, to understand everyone that I work with, that's what I like. Honestly, Porter, I talk a lot about. If you follow any of my social media channels, I talk about quite often what is one of my favorite ever sessions with a client, right, and do you know what it is? It's that first one. I call it the onboarding session because, a bit like you know, you're having this chat tonight or this afternoon for you and we're talking about things. We'll ask each other questions, we're here at different points of view but in a very short space of time, you get a vibe for someone, you understand a little bit about them and you probe a bit more and you can really understand someone quite quickly. So, for me, that first session of onboarding where we talk about look, why are you here and it's a common question I ask every single new client or is you could be doing anything right now. You could be with your mates. You could be down at the gym, you could be earning money. You could be going for a walk. You could be down the pub, you could be playing tennis, you could be online gaming, but you are here. You could be doing anything else, but you are here to have a chat with me. Why are you here today? What is going on that has resulted in us having this conversation today, and sometimes it can get quite deep, quite quick.

Chris Hunt:
9:15

But I think, asking that question just straight away, it goes right zero in. Be like when you're in the military, looking at your targets, you zero in and go look, let's just get straight to it. And, for me, stripping back those layers, but also offering a space and a place of trust, a place where you can just go hey look, I know we've just met, but let's just talk person to person. What's going on? This is where you are, this is where you want to get to. Let's close the gap and let's make you happier, like, what's the reason you're here?

Chris Hunt:
9:49

What's the one or two things that you're striving for to come out this conversation and to be honest, Porter, most of the time it comes down to a few specific things. It might be hey look, I just want to be happier. It may be. Do you know what I want? To live longer. It might just be wow, my mind doesn't feel like it's serving me right now. I want to learn how, to my mind, to work for me rather than against me. And maybe do you know what, I love my wife, or I love my husband, but I don't feel I'm being the best partner at the moment. It might be I love my kids, but there's a few things that are going on that, for whatever reason, that's stopping me being the best parent that I can be right now. But when you ask certain questions and you probe and you understand, and then that client kind of goes okay, they're listening. They're not just listening to speak, they're listening to hear, they're listening to understand. That's so powerful man, so so powerful.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
10:39

Do you think that's common today? I mean outside of your work, outside of the world Marines, just in your life, in your sphere, the ability to develop that level of inquiry and actively listen to people. Do you guys see that in the UK or in Reading or London, or however you want to attribute that? Do you see that happening? Because I don't.

Chris Hunt:
10:59

I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you, Porter, Outside of here, and a few other people that I know. No, I don't.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
11:05

I don't think that it's a little bit of a problem, All right. If folks sit tight, we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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11:13

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Chris Hunt:
12:13

Outside of here and a few other people that I know. No, I don't, and I think that it's a little bit of a problem. It's how often do we hear stories about? And I'll give an example and it'll make you laugh. And I love telling personal stories because I don't know about you, but there's nothing worse. You know, sometimes you hear podcasts or you watch YouTube and people like to portray this hey, I'm perfect. Are you like me? But you know what? There is no perfect, but I'll tell you what there is progress.

Chris Hunt:
12:40

And something I found a while ago was I love being with my kids and you'll get this kind of vibe as we talk. I love my wife, I love my four daughters and I love spending time with them. I used to find, let's say, it was a Sunday morning, poor and be there and I'm relaxing with them. Of course, I'm on my phone. I'm like, hang on, hang on a minute.

Chris Hunt:
13:02

I've been moaning for the last four hours that I've moaned, but maybe highlighting the fact that I've been working hard all week, done some great things, but man, I wanna see my kids and I've quality time with my wife and my kids this weekend.

Chris Hunt:
13:15

This is number one goal and then less than a few hours later you're sat there on your phone scrolling away and it's that lack of existence and for me it's when you have those moments it kinda makes you go. Well, if I've had those moments and without being arrogant, I'm pretty much on point or with awareness and empathy and compassion and knowing myself, it just has been into me and I work on myself Then what must it be like for people where they haven't even got that level of awareness? So yeah, in answer to your question, I actually think lack of presence, lack of focus, lack of alignment is a really big thing and we kinda need more places, maybe even more podcasts like this for guys, girls, older people, younger people, entrepreneurs, military, ex-military, athletes to come together and say, hey look, no one's perfect, but I'm working on these things and these things working are working for me.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
14:04

Yeah, well then, that's part of the problem, right, like you've gotta instigate to educate, I think, and there's no other way to effectively do it from what I've seen. So you mentioned you had four daughters. I've got a son. He's nine years old. He'll actually be 10 pretty soon, as of this recording. We've had a long distance relationship though, basically the last seven and a half years, and so I see him once or twice a year, and the rest of the time we talk on a video call or we play video games at night or whatever it is, especially now that he's older. Yeah, but he's also growing into himself and his own perspective and worldview and ideologies and way of viewing and interpreting the world, and I'm sure part of me not agreeing with him is because I haven't been there and so our perspectives are just different.

Chris Hunt:
14:51

Yeah.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
14:52

One thing that I have seen is he's very passionate about things he's interested in which do not include socializing with people, unless it's in a game. You put him in a room, yes, yeah, you put him in a room, you know, face to face with people, peers, his age, adults, doesn't matter Just people in a room. Physically, yeah, proximely close, yeah. And he freezes yeah, he's too shy, he's not confident, he doesn't socialize well enough in person. But you put him in a video game room and you digitize the whole experience, even if it's avatars or if it's in a chat. You know roblox or whatever.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
15:28

Yeah, he's chatty and he's intelligent and for the most part, he's putting cohesive thoughts together and making a compelling argument why you should trade him this particular pet or this particular whatever for something else, or to get diamonds or whatever the game is. You know he's, he's a salesman when he wants to be. He just doesn't see it. He just doesn't have the confidence. So when you go through, you know in your own experience or with clients in or as you're even putting together a business model and you're going to try to, you know, consult and bring in clients, how do you recommend developing that level of confidence where you can stand behind what you stand for and put yourself on the table and build that sense of courage and sense of self. What are your thoughts?

Chris Hunt:
16:10

Oh, that's a great question, by the way, when you were saying there about you know, you, look, youngsters, they are very different to us. We've got all these different generations for it and every generation is seeing something different. I heard something a while ago. I'll share it really quickly with you, and it's an amazing use of words and basically in our age group we're kind of kind of digital immigrants because we wouldn't have that kind of technology an atmosphere of content and involvement when we were younger. But these kids, our kids, they're digital natives. They've never known any different and, honestly, it's a great use of words. It's not my own, I can't remember the source of those, but I absolutely love it and when you look at it like it's so true. So when we compare it to, hey look, these kids must be missing out, not doing certain things that we did when we were kids, 100 percent are standby there. But you know what? They've never understood it because they've never had it like that. They're digital natives, weird digital immigrants.

Chris Hunt:
17:04

We're the ones that are based on our views and how society should be and how kids should be doing, how much time kids should be spending on screens and, by the way, they proved a lot of science that it's not necessarily the screens or the screen time that they feel is contributing to certain things going on upstairs in the mind. With kids these days, what it actually is is lack of time doing other things, so it's an indirect impact. So what I mean by that is it's not necessarily the amount of screen time and want like, say, zoom calls and gaming. That's the major issue. It's, if they're doing so much of that, then it's the reduction of the area. So the key there is to ask yourself, hey, this is part of life. Now we just got to try and find that right balance. So it's kind of saying, hey, going on your games is cool for a few hours, just forget the other stuff too. And it's going to be a little bit of two and four between that Because, like I said, you've got digital immigrants and digital natives coming against each other. It's going to produce some hybrid solution at some point.

Chris Hunt:
18:03

But look, don't back to your original question about confidence. For me we're talking now I could talk all day about the mental game tools and techniques to get your mind on point and working for you, and something I've got taught a while ago. Someone called me really enthusiastic, right, and they're like, hey, Chris, look, man, I met a lot of people you're passionate, you're enthusiastic. I just thought, yeah, I am enthusiastic, but I also don't think it's just enthusiasm. What does that mean? Like I see people that enthusiastic loads of energy.

Chris Hunt:
18:32

Yeah, I see people that motivated and enthusiastic. Well, more than motivate, do you know what? And again, this is something that I got taught and I'd love to know where this came from. Have you got some paper in front of you, Porter? Yeah, write down the word enthusiasm on a bit of paper for me, and this is listeners, by the way, feel free to do this.

Chris Hunt:
18:50

When I got shown this, I'm like yes, this is what confidence is about, this is what enthusiasm is about, this is what pure passion is about. I want you to circle the letters I, a, s, m in the word enthusiasm. So the last four letters. Do you know what those four letters stand for? Porter? No, I am sold myself. That's what enthusiasm is. So when I talk about this stuff, I'm sold myself. When I get a client into a consultation, I'm sold on this myself. When I'm saying to a client hey look, this could work for you like it's worth for others, you've got to trust me on this. Why? Because I am sold myself and I honestly feel there's too many coaches and professionals. They talk a good game, but are they really sold on it? Because if you are that confident and that enthusiastic about it, you've got no questions about the stuff that you're selling. You've got no, you've got no problem talking about. Someone says you hey look, Chris, could you talk about?

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
19:50

the mental game for 10 minutes.

Chris Hunt:
19:52

You're not expecting it when you're enthusiastic and you're passionate and it's your thing and you can swear down that this will work for millions of people around the world. You can talk for 10 minutes about it without a script, without a card. Why? Because you are sold yourself.

Chris Hunt:
20:08

So when it comes to confidence and helping people with confidence, I always say, first of all, confidence takes massive practice. Everything takes massive practice. One of my favorite quotes what are any words you want in there? Losing weight takes massive practice. Yeah. Getting good at public speaking takes massive practice. Getting good at computer games takes massive practice. Having a real good, flowing conversation on a podcast takes massive practice. All these things take massive practice.

Chris Hunt:
20:31

So, if you want to get better with confidence, first of all find out what area you want to be confident in, learn who's the best in that area. You're showing and displaying that confidence and then take practice, Get enthusiastic about it, Get passionate about it. And, by the way, if you're working on something and you're one of my clients I should be able to look at I'm showing you my phone, but if all the listeners wondering why I went quiet there, I'm picking up a phone up and showing Porter, If I was one of my clients. So I know Porter and I said show me your phone, show me your calendar. I should be able to see what they're into right now and what they're trying to get better at. Why is their schedule showing? Because it's not just a cuff, it's not just a blag, it's not just as and when. Because you've got to make your mission greater than your feelings.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
21:17

Yeah, you've got to get it in your calendar. Yeah, man, you've got to get it in your schedule.

Chris Hunt:
21:23

Like, for example, I look at certain things right and for me, you know we talk about keystone habits, right Habits that when you do these things it kind of pulls other habits in line and everyone has different keystone habits. Sometimes well, I'm sure you agree we don't really know why this certain habit is a keystone habit, but when we do, it, it magnifies, it multiplies, it magnifies, it's cohesive.

Chris Hunt:
21:47

So when you have these keystone habits but one of mine is movement, movement exercise yeah, I love it. Well, yeah, whether it's stretching, mobility, boxing, running, weight training, group exercise, I love movement. So what's one of the first things that goes in my schedule? My movement patterns? And, by the way, on a daily basis, it can move throughout the day. So, let's say, a client said hey look, chris, any chance we can swap sessions today If I can, I will, but there's one thing I'll never do with that movement session.

Chris Hunt:
22:16

I'll never delete it so that our state, the client, says can you trust me to do a session? I'm not going to sacrifice to our sacrifice, burnout, right, self control, self love. One of my self love habits, my keystone habits movement. I'm not going to give that for anybody, because that makes me tick, it makes me float. So it's all about making time, finding time and enforcing it's the big one enforcing that time on the things that help you to be the best version of yourself.

Chris Hunt:
22:43

So when we talk about self worth, self love, self care, I should be going to look at your schedule and know what it is that you really value, because that will be in your diary, in your schedule, showering its mouth off off your screen saying I'm important, this is me, I'm important, just my view. So, yeah, look, if I'm working with anyone, I'll be able to see quite quickly what's important to them and what's not. And if you're working with me and you tell me something's important to you, I'm going to make sure it's in your diary ASAP and help you stick to that. Simple as that.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
23:14

All right, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value. Join us for Transacting Value, where we discuss practical applications of personal values, every Monday at 9am on our website, transactingvaluepodcast. com, Wednesdays at 5pm and Sundays at noon on wreathsacrossamerica. org.

Chris Hunt:
23:37

And if you're working with me and you're telling me something's important to you, I'm going to make sure it's in your diary ASAP and help you stick to that. Simple as that.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
23:43

All right.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
23:44

Well, let me ask you this, something that you can't necessarily put into a calendar, day planner, diary, journal, what may be journal, but so one of the things that we talk about a lot on this show is the importance of a value system, and I think, when it comes down to character, think about it like this, especially for anybody new to the show or anybody that hasn't heard me say this before. But think about it like this If, in fact, your reputation precedes you ie people talking about you, know about you, whatever, whatever and then you show up. You're either going to prove them right or you're going to prove them wrong, wittingly or not, but that's one of the two things that's going to happen, right? So if your reputation precedes you, your character is what you leave behind, because it's in your control to fix it Right. It's in your control to drive people's opinions and perspectives in whatever, in whatever direction you choose, frankly, and I think a value system is what helps us develop that character.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
24:32

Chris, let me ask you this you a fan of Disney movies, or any movies for that matter?

Chris Hunt:
24:36

Hey, I got four daughters and two brothers for them. I've daughters. I still love Disney.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
24:40

Fair point. Fair point, all right, so you know what? Let's do this. Let's do this quick 60 second exercise, right? Name a Disney movie, pick one. We didn't rehearse this. Go ahead, name a Disney movie.

Chris Hunt:
24:48

Oh wow, can I pick two, as you got to be one.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
24:51

Sure pick two.

Chris Hunt:
24:52

Toy Story and.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
24:53

Cars. Easy, all right, Toy Story and Cars. So we'll start with Toy Story. There are no tribal African characters in the first Toy Story. None, yeah, doesn't exist. No tribal African toys. Right, this is an example. However, there are people all around the world with tribal African heritage that find resonance in Toy Story. How is that possible? Right, let's talk about Cars. For a second Larry the Cable Guy, Mater Tow Truck. Okay, let's just start there. Do you know any? Oh God, oh God, you gotta love him, you gotta love him.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
25:26

Yeah, of course, but do you know any Tow Trucks, any Tow Truck drivers, anybody?

Chris Hunt:
25:29

that's no, no, not so, not, so, not so.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
25:33

But yet somehow something about Mater stands out to you, your family, your daughters, whatever, right? Yeah, here's the point I'm getting at. Each one of these characters that gets created in a movie is created by an animator or by a person, by a storyteller who's just viewing the world and the characteristics that they put into those characters, the aspects, the adjectives, the qualities, those are the values, because that's what resonates with people around the world. It's not the character. You don't know any Tow Trucks. You've never met Larry the Cable Guy. You know what I'm saying. So it's their values, it's their qualities that creates their characters in the movie, that makes them lovable or humoric or whatever, right, yeah, and that's what we do as people. We create our character based on our values. And so I got a question for you, Chris.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
26:16

Developing Character. Now for anybody who's new, and Chris for you obviously as well, any continuing listeners. I've got two primary questions in this particular segment right, Both about your value system, and we'll see what your character is that you prefer to cultivate. It's totally up to you as in depth and willing as you want to be, no pressure, no judgment. But of course, first question when you were growing up, what were some of the values that you were exposed to in your family, your household, your sphere as you were growing up?

Chris Hunt:
26:45

Oh. So what you're asking me is when I was growing up as a child, what was the kind of the atmosphere and the environment that I was part of?

Chris Hunt:
27:05

The kind of things I saw on a daily basis, yeah? but in terms of a value system, because we're driving towards character. Love. Love f. Family. Community. HI said love first of all because, 100%, we had a lot of love in our family. Man, we had my mom, my dad, my brother, my mom and dad throw up north in the UK, then moved down south. We were born in the south, so a lot of band up between the north and the south in the UK. Right, if you ever get any more people from the UK the north and the southerners we have some good fun. I'm sure it's quite similar in the US, right. Yeah, but we had a lot of love. But we still got a lot of love as well.

Chris Hunt:
27:29

Now and it's something that I've now tried to share with my own kids and my wife as well it's all about loving you and you're okay, you got your family right, you got your bloodline, so love is definitely one. Yeah, hard work, honesty, good energy, good vibe, helping others yeah, the list could go on. I've got to say that, man, I had a really good upbringing. I love my mom and dad for the upbringing that we got. For you know, we went on our holidays and we lived in a nice area. We had a nice house. We never went without. Yeah, I had my mom and dad a lot. We had a great upbringing.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
28:01

Well, all of those things aren't solely what's from your perspective now right. I mean, you were a commando, got a company. Now, obviously, you're a father now, right. My second question, then, and we'll tie this together in a second what are some of your values now, then, that you've grown through life a little bit? How's it changed? I love this.

Chris Hunt:
28:20

I mean, these are great questions,. I had tough to. These are fantastic and they get you thinking. You know, it's like when, when you're the professional Normie Delvin, you don't always get asked yourself those questions. So I'm liking these. I feel like I'm peeling myself back a little bit as well, and man we just met for a while.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
28:34

This is great.

Chris Hunt:
28:36

Things that I've stumbled by the way just to put out there. You point out. You said, no, the listeners can't see this, but I smile quite a lot. I'm quite an enthusiast, the energetic guy Guess what my name was in the football team where, like, we're talking like under 10s, under 11s Guess what.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
28:52

I'm going with smiley.

Chris Hunt:
28:54

Mr Smiler, there it is. Check this one out. I've got a t-shirt somewhere behind me. We've got. I've got. You can't see it here. It's up on my top left. We've got a t-shirt from the Marines. It says sons of Anarchy, Afghan Chatter. Nice, Guess what my name was in the Marines?

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
29:09

And it says it on my t-shirt, mr Smiley.

Chris Hunt:
29:11

Mr Morale. All right, hi Morale, my enthusiasm. So I think, yeah, these things have kind of have kind of traveled through my life Values now, 100% love is still there helping others, love of learning Love of learning is one of my big values. I kind of I'm up to bat a little bit. I got to 16, 17. I did my A-levels. I went to uni. I partied a little bit too hard Porter, if I'm honest, and it's quite funny.

Chris Hunt:
29:37

I had a great time. I partied too hard but my learning kind of went a little bit amiss for a bit. And then I went in the Marines. I wanted that challenge. I came back and now I'm doing what I'm doing. Love of learning is one of my number one values. Love, honesty, again still hard work and discipline. You don't get anything without hard work.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
30:00

I know you've got to be aligned with your environment.

Chris Hunt:
30:02

But you know what? You don't get anywhere without hard work. I say this to my kids all the time. I'm like, look, I'm not saying I'm right, I'm not saying I'm perfect, but there's one thing you can always align is that when you put 100% working, you may not get the outcome that you want, but you could be a head down on that pillow at night going. Do you know what? I did my best. That's a commodity and I truly feel you do that consistently and you find ways of doing that consistently, man, that's magic and you can achieve serious greatness.

Chris Hunt:
30:27

So yeah, I've covered a few things there, but yeah, it's a few things that I've carried over and definitely a few things that I'll give you, If you don't mind me telling you a bit about my family. Can I do that quickly?

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
30:38

Please, please, please sure.

Chris Hunt:
30:39

Yeah, so like so, I've got four daughters. And when I was in the Marines, I went into the Marines, I was with my ex-partner and we had two daughters. Now we were very, very different people. When I went into the Marines Porter, right, we were again. I come out of uni I was quite a party I really wanted to challenge. I was like you know what, if I'm doing, I'm doing this, I want to go in the Marines and I've got into training, got through, went out to Afghanistan and before I even went out, when you change and when you upgrade and when you work on yourself, in an ideal situation, when you're in a couple, you grow together, right. But sometimes you grow in different directions, in different speeds, completely different directions. Sometimes, my ex partner, we've separated in space, in values and in love, the whole shebang.

Chris Hunt:
31:23

Anyway, I came back from Afghanistan. That was completely clear. I then went out a second time. Unfortunately, when I came back, we have something in the UK called social services and that you might have maybe called children services in the US, where they kind of, you know, look after kids if things go wrong, and a few things that happened while I was away. Anyway, I was loving being a bootneck that's what one Marines commandos call. By way, a bootneck, right, I love being a bootneck. I love my green beret. Do you know what?

Chris Hunt:
31:49

When I came back, I had to look after my kids full time. They were four and two and we're coming up to four and two. So it was either and, by the way, the Marines hierarchy, I like to think it's because we've done a really good job as a group of men and my individual role within Afghanistan. But like they looked after me big time, I got a bit of time off. I was looking at my kids. They wanted to help me. But you know what, when you've earned that green lid and you like getting dirty and you like getting stuck in, you like getting the rounds down, you like getting involved, being on a desk with your green lid doesn't quite cut it.

Chris Hunt:
32:20

After that point, yeah, they looked after them for you and I left and I loved being a Royal Marine. I loved it. But you know what, my kids came first and so I left the Marines at that point. That's why I left, and it's funny how, like, your values can change a little bit. But I felt that the real me came out even more. It got to the point where I'm right. I've got all this amazing training. I know I've got a good personality . I'm , I'm hard working. I love my family. Let's see what can happen. That then went into personal training and my wife. We have now got two more beautiful daughters there all four of them how can you believe it? 15, 13, 9 and four. My wife and I have been in 2011. We got married in 2015.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
32:59

I had to get the dates right, by the way, because I've been in trouble with those dates.

Chris Hunt:
33:01

You know that I had to get make sure I'm fine, yeah, and now it's. We put things in place for her to make our kids like a real foundation of if we're growing and I'm growing then we don't leave anyone behind, and I think that's something that maybe I've developed over time. Maybe I didn't have that when I was younger, but it's definitely something from the Marines that has helped me in the just like a military unit.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
33:23

I'm not leaving anyone behind.

Chris Hunt:
33:24

So I might have my growth and I might have my goals. My wife, we have our growth goals together, but we've got four beautiful daughters and I'm fully intend on helping them in their navigation of life as much as I can. So again, when you look at my diary, Porter, it's quite funny you will see specific things in my schedule, because it's hard with four kids or anyone listening that's got kids. Being a parent, I tell you what put your hands in there and go, Chris, I'm with you If you listen to this.

Chris Hunt:
33:49

It's the hardest job in the world. There's no playbook, there's no manual. Every kid is different, every family is different, but man, it is so fulfilling, it is so rewarding helping your loved ones navigate life. They might not even be the same as you All, my four kids. They're all different in their unique ways. I look at them sometimes to go wow, you're like me Sometimes to look at them and go.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
34:13

I don't think you're any of our kids. You're nothing like me and your mum. It's funny.

Chris Hunt:
34:18

Yeah, life changes over time, but I truly feel that certain situations in life, when they present themselves, you bring out your best self. You bring out maybe some of those values that have been hidden for a little bit, or maybe some values that have just kind of gone a few layers back. But when you keep working on you and you have honest motives at hand, it's seriously powerful. But yeah, look, family's a big one for me and I could talk all night about.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
34:44

Already, folks stay tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

Advertiser:
34:53

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Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
35:51

Well, I think it's important, you know, and there's something I had a guy come on the show, oh man, Tom, I'm sorry it was last year in the fall, but I can't remember when it was now. Anyway, guy named Tom came on the show and he runs a family business consulting group, and his primary focus is how to increase family unity, not how to better your business. Yeah, his focus is the family, and one of the things he said is you've got to understand you've got either your family of origin that you were born into, or a family of creation, your friends, stepfamily, fostering, whatever right, like the other people In any sense, though everybody's got to understand their roles and how that fits within the overall dynamic. Right, and it's not always age specific. Sometimes you've got families where, well, family businesses aside, sometimes you've got families where it's multi-generational, not just you and your kids yeah, you and your kids, your parents, for example, right.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
36:44

And then now, who's in charge? Right, because your mom, your dad may still be there, right, but you're the kid, but you're the parent. Yeah, they're the kid, they're the grandkids, you know, who do they listen to? And so there's always these competing philosophies, I think, when it comes to families, and so one of my last questions here, based on some of the values that you brought up, you talked about discipline and hard work and love and balancing all those things, and obviously all over your website you're talking about boundaries and understanding yourself and sort of what you bring to the table and your strengths to better work through life. And so, as we're talking about some of that stuff, how do you encourage that in a household where you've got six different perspectives to juggle on top of your own as you're growing? Well, five, I guess, to juggle on top of your own as you're growing and encourage and instigate and empower each of these other people to do the same thing without giving up some of yourself. You only got so much time.

Chris Hunt:
37:36

Yeah, do you know what I love? That and the fact you've asked that question. I didn't know you're going to ask that, but I've got the answer for you and I shared this on a podcast a few weeks ago and it's for us. It changed our life as a family and it was a weekly family meeting. Now I know it sounds really official, just whatever you know, when you close your eyes and hear me go oh, that guy from the UK talking about a family meeting. Right, it's not what you think it is. Let's just dial back that image, which you may have a. What I'm talking about. I'm going to dial it down. I've mentioned about the love of learning, Porter, right, yeah, but you know we've got parents, we have teenage daughters, we've got all these different dynamics and we got offered a course for parenting for teenagers a while ago and I know kind of people in our kind of circles have turned it down.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
38:22

I don't mean a course on parenting.

Chris Hunt:
38:23

I don't think parents, what are they trying to tell me? I'm like, wow, he says you've got to be a bad parent to go on a course. I've got to go on this course. If they've got a little nugget that we can use to be even tighter family and foster love and honesty and vision and growth, I'm all for it. Anyway, we went on this course, right, yes, like an online course, my wife and I was like three or four different families. It was over eight weeks and you know it's like on courses Porter, I'm sure you've been on loads in your time where you might go on a course.

Chris Hunt:
38:51

It could be a face to face online a week, three, four days, and you might hear the content and you know you've heard it all before. Then there's that one moment and it might just be a minute, it might be a little slide, it might be an image, it might be a picture and you go. That's why I came on this course and take my money. I'm going to talk about this family meeting. It's like. It's like a family meeting. Make it really informal. But yeah, and this is the key bit here, give everyone in your family a regular space to talk, to say how they think, to say how they feel and to bring anything to the table. No judgment.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
39:31

So we introduced it.

Chris Hunt:
39:32

Wait, look, we do it really funny, Porter right, so anyone listening.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
39:35

This is how we do it.

Chris Hunt:
39:35

This is how the Hunt family in the UK does this Sunday night at 7pm everyone's kind of shower and washed. We've had dinner, we sit down and we go from youngest to oldest. It's the same order every time. So we've got Bella, that's four, and we're like Bella, have you got anything? She'll be something like you know, I love my teddies. Right, you're like okay, great, well done, brilliant and Sophia will come up next. She's a real like self-confident little thing. She'll say. She says the same thing every time. I love myself.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
40:00

And we're like brilliant. Well done, Sophia. And she's in a non-arrogant way.

Chris Hunt:
40:03

I want to make that clear. She really does love herself. I love that. Then it'll be Sienna, then it'll be Summer and they come up with different things. Sometimes we talk about something that we've got coming up that week we want to share with the group. Maybe it's something that they're working on that week. It could be anything.

Chris Hunt:
40:19

And the power and sometimes, by the way, when we do this, a couple of kids might not say too much, but the power is not in what they say, the power in that fan. I promise you, if anyone is not doing this and you've got a family, just give it a go. The power of Porter with this is that everyone, when she starts doing it, regularly goes I've got a space, I've got a safe space that I know is coming every week and if I feel like it, I can say something and I can put it out to the family organism, the environment, no judging and it gets out there and it is so powerful. We now cover things, like you know, we take it in terms to talk about the family chores and one of the kids might say oh no, I've got this this week, I'll put it in. Say behind after me we'll have a little chat about it. Sometimes they'll bring something up and then one of the other kids will go.

Chris Hunt:
41:05

I didn't realize you'd be fine like that. Sorry, I don't mean that and we talk about stuff, don't be wrong. It can vary the length of the meeting, the quality of the meeting, the depth of the meeting, but again, I'll say it again, the power in the meeting is having that space where everyone goes, "on part of this unit, same as the Marines right, same as a tight unit in business. It's creating a space. And you said you can't do it for a family and I can't honestly say I'm not being biased here. My wife would say the same. I'm sure if you asked the kids they'd say it. Since we started doing this, it's just brought us closer together and it's a simple concept. And look sometimes, because these meetings brought.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
41:43

They can be really short sometimes. I'm not joking.

Chris Hunt:
41:46

Sometimes they might be a little bit longer, but just the fact that everyone knows they can be heard when they need it. Everyone's aligned and you can't go. Well, I didn't get the chance to say that, dad. It's just a really nice thing to do and, honestly, if you're a parent, give it a go. I love learning. We put ourselves in a position to learn off this course and it was so good because, hey look, I love being a parent. I want to learn how to be the best parent that I could possibly be, and that's what it's about.

Chris Hunt:
42:10

But yeah, these family meetings are fun and, by the way, if you run these family meetings. By the way, if you're not listening, ok, prepare, because you may not always hear the things that you're expecting to hear.

Chris Hunt:
42:22

Wow. I wasn't expecting that. That's a curveball, brilliant! I'm glad you said it. We'll have a chat afterwards. That's cool.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
42:32

There's a lot of moments and a lot of opportunities. I mean they get overlooked because we're not looking for them and we're not paying attention when they show up, or, if they do, we just don't recognize it as an opportunity. You know, like you're sitting there, everybody's quiet, let's say a family dinner or whatever right, everybody's sitting there eating. You just don't think about the questions, or sometimes you just forget what you want to bring up and it's just silent and that's fine. It is what it is, you know, or you, how was your day? I think it's pretty common for parents, right, how was your day? Yeah, and I think, anyways, the most common answer that I get every time I bring it up Good, great, fantastic, all right, outstanding. So what made it so good? What made it go well, what made it? Whatever? You know, and you try to dive in and then, obviously, the response is I don't want to talk about it. Well, I thought it was good. Why would you not want to show? You know? So, like you brought up earlier with the digital Nomad piece, I think there's differences to just generational differences where I maybe I've just forgotten, I don't know. But I don't know how to parent period, but I know how to people effectively. You know, it's just a matter of well for one.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
43:36

My audience is a nine year old. He doesn't know yet, he's still learning. I may know, I may think I'm doing the right thing. I don't necessarily need to take it personally when he proves me wrong. But yeah, it's a growing thing. It's a give and take right. Humility goes a long way too. So let me let me say this though First of all, I loved having you on the show. I'd love to have you back, maybe an earlier time for you, so you got some life to live after Wherever it's cool man passion and flow.

Chris Hunt:
44:01

we got it going on. It's great.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
44:02

Yeah yeah. This was an awesome conversation. For anybody that wants to get in touch with you, check out Therapy Size, any of your videos, any of your content, or track you down as a trainer. Where do people go? How do they find you? How do they get in touch?

Chris Hunt:
44:14

Yeah, cool. So I put most of my content uh, put out on LinkedIn and Facebook. Look me up. Chris Hunter got a picture of my kids on Facebook. My Facebook page is called Therapyc ize Outsourced Mental Performance. Um, my website is wwwtherapycize. co. uk. I put loads of content out there and I'm always I look, I'm always willing to speak to someone if it's about the mental game and and working. And if I may I know we're short on time Can I just share one little tool that the listeners could use straight away after this call? Yeah, of course, but everyone's got things that can work on models and frameworks. If you truly want to master your mind in your life for me, just remember the word mastery and if you work on these elements as a whole okay, I'm going to go through them very quickly they will change your life. If you just change a work on one or two, they will change your life. The key is just putting a little bit of focus onto these areas. The M is morning routines. Work on your morning routine.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
45:04

Can't guarantee a great day, but it sets you up to start making your bed in the morning.

Chris Hunt:
45:07

It feels great. A. acknowledge that a diet is key. No matter what your goal, you got to work on your nutrition and what goes in that mouth feels Not saying you got to be perfect, but we got to be putting the right fuel in. S is your state of mind. Do something every day for your state of mind. You brush your teeth every day, you wash every day, you drink water every day. You sleep every day. How about we do something in your mental game every single day? That's how important the mind is. T is training movement.

Chris Hunt:
45:31

The E stands for environment. We're a product of our environment. Work on your environment, get it working for you. It's tiring fighting against your environment. Either tweak your environment or change your environment. You've got to work on your environment.

Chris Hunt:
45:43

The R is rest and recovery. Just like a phone needs its charge and the Formula One car needs a pit lane, we need rest and recovery. We live in a world now where that kind of sympathetic nervous system, the stress system, is on alert 24-7 and the PNS, the power sympathetic nervous system, aka the peaceful system, is a little bit less developed for some time-intentioned peaceful system deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, mindful walking, taking a breather, however you want to call it self-hypnosis, work that. And then the final one, the Y is you Do something for you every single day and, by the way, I'm sure what you would pick, paul, would be something different to what I picked, to what my wife would pick, what kids would pick. It could be something arty, sporty, watch something, listen to something. But the key here is no zero days. Just like you brush your teeth every single day because it's mission critical, doing things for yourself and self-care every single day is mission critical too. Remember the mastery model will serve you well.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
46:41

I love it. I love it. I had no idea where you were going to take that, but I love everything that went with it. I want to share it. Dude, that was great. In fact, I wish you brought it up sooner, because now I've got questions in a matter of time. But, like I said, whenever we get an opportunity, I'd love to have you back on. Man, We'll get you back in touch and we'll figure out what works in our schedules. I think it was great, but for right now, I appreciate the conversation. I appreciate the opportunity to talk with you, to meet you, to have you just give up some of your time so late in the evening to be able to talk. Dude, man, your perspective on life, your passion, your worldview, your ability to communicate effectively and actually inspire people and empower people. It's not just talk, dude. I love what you're doing. So thank you first off for coming on the show and for doing what you're doing. Thank you.

Chris Hunt:
47:24

Thanks to the tango Cheers.

Josh "Porter" Porthouse:
47:26

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, brother. Thank you to our show partners and folks. Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together. To check out our other conversations, merchandise, or even to contribute through feedback follows time, money or talent and let us know what you think of the show. Please reach out on our website, transactingvaluepodcast. com. We stream new episodes every Monday at 9am Eastern Standard time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms and we'll meet you there. Until next time, that was Transacting Value.