Escaping Iran & Rebuilding from Ashes with Soodabeh Mokry

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Become a Global Ambassador for Self-Worth. Text us your feedback! Fleeing Iran during the 1979 revolution, she arrived in America to discover the husband she'd sacrificed everything to join no longer wanted a family. With two young children, no English skills, no money, and no support system, Soodabeh Mokry faced a choice: surrender to despair or forge an entirely new identity. Her journey from that breaking point to becoming a registered nurse with nearly 40 years of experience, bestselling ...

Become a Global Ambassador for Self-Worth. Text us your feedback!

Fleeing Iran during the 1979 revolution, she arrived in America to discover the husband she'd sacrificed everything to join no longer wanted a family. With two young children, no English skills, no money, and no support system, Soodabeh Mokry faced a choice: surrender to despair or forge an entirely new identity. Her journey from that breaking point to becoming a registered nurse with nearly 40 years of experience, bestselling author, and transformational coach offers profound lessons in resilience and purpose-finding.

From Escaping the Rule of the Iranian Government to Becoming an Inspirational Speaker, Author, & Transformational Coach - "Every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose."

(14:30) https://www.wreathsacrossamerica.org/Newsroom/WreathsAcrossAmericaRadio

(27:25) https://porthouse.kw.com/

(37:00) https://heavenslightwellness.com/

Learn more about Soodabeh by visiting her website at https://soodabehmokry.com/

Amazon #1 Best Selling Author of Emerging You
Author of the immigration memoir, Angel Nightingale
Motivational Speaker
Certified Hypnotist
Transformational Coach for High Performing Women

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An SDYT Media Production I Deviate from the Norm

00:00 - Introduction to Sudubeh's Revolution Journey

07:13 - Escaping Iran and Betrayal in America

14:30 - Transforming Trauma into Purpose

23:16 - Rock Bottom to Spiritual Awakening

34:14 - The Power of Physical and Spiritual Health

44:11 - Crafting Values and Writing Her Story

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The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience.

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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Every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose.

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Today on Transacting Value.

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Who can you become when the world seems to have turned its back on you and fallen apart, when you've lost your identity, your relationships and even your culture?

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We're talking with author, registered nurse and transformational coach, sudubeh Mokri all about what that was like for her when she fled in 1979, during the Iranian revolution.

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I'm Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and from SDYT Media.

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This is Transacting Value.

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Sudebay, how are you doing?

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I am doing well.

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Thank you so much, josh, for giving me this opportunity, and I'm so excited to just have our conversation.

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Absolutely.

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You've got such a cool story and, on top of everything, you basically learned it all from scratch.

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As an adult, I almost don't even know where to start, except to just let you start.

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So let's take a couple minutes and set the stage.

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Start.

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So let's take a couple minutes and set the stage.

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Who are you A little bit about?

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Where you're from, or what sort of things are shaping your perspective on the world today?

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Yes, that's a great question, josh.

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Thank you.

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I am originally from Iran.

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I moved to America in November of 1990.

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So it's about like 34 years ago and, yeah, life changed.

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Life changed the way that I did not even expect it, because I was married, we had two children together.

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We both were activists, you know, fighting for freedom in Iran, specifically after the revolution took place in 1979.

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And we didn't have the freedom that we wanted.

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We wanted peace, we wanted to make sure that our children are going to grow up to have a good life, because, prior to the revolution took place, iran was like a westernized country, like America.

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We had a great relationship with European countries.

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With America, my cousins, my mom's, aunts and, you know, friend and family will come like spring break or summer vacation in America or France or other countries.

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I never had to, you know, wear cover my hair or my face or anything until when the revolution took place in 79.

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And when I moved to America in 1990, the hope was with my husband at the time, who had to escape the country, country of Iran, three years before I came and joined him and he was yes, he was the father of my kids the time that he had to escape from.

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Where he communicated with me was my life is in danger, the government is coming after me and part of the group that he was, you know, working with to fight for freedom which I had no idea who they were or anything, because of safety, he wouldn't, you know, talk to me about it, war or anything, because of safety, he wouldn't, you know, talk to me about it.

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And some of the people were cut by the government and he said that my life is in danger and I had to leave.

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At that time, we had a four and a half year old son and I was seven months pregnant, yes, yes, and I was a nurse, I was working in a hospital and the only thing that I knew that my life is in danger and my kids, my husband.

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So the only choice that I had in that matter to say, that's okay, go.

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And he had a brother and sister in America, actually in Portland, where I live, and he said that he had already talked with his family before he come and tell me about the decision, and just to figure out whether I say yes or no.

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So in that, I said yes.

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So in that I said yes, because if you are going to stay here.

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From what I hear from you, you're not going to be alive and my kids are not.

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Our kids are not going to have a father.

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So I accepted the fact that he escaped and it's a long story and we're not going to go there.

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But it took him three years and I had to really work very hard.

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I was having a job, working 15 days in a row, one day off, 15 days in a row because I didn't have any support and I had to be able to provide.

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You know, my second child was born and for my family I was back living with my mom, but still it was difficult because it wasn't to income anymore, it was my income.

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So I literally work really hard and taking care of the kids and making sure going from my mom's home to my mother-in-law's home, to my sister-in-law's home, because I had to go around so the government doesn't come and find me.

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None of my co-workers knew that I was alone.

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They didn't know when I went to hospital that gave birth and nobody knew that my husband wasn't there.

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So, coming three years of going through the scariest time of my life, when I came here I found out that he didn't want to be married.

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He didn't want to have kids.

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He didn't want to have anything.

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Have kids, he didn't want to have anything.

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So you can imagine that I am here after three years of hard work and suffering and pain, losing my brother in a car accident and so much that is in the book, and I'm not going to go there.

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And I'm here and he said I don't want you and he said I don't want you.

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That's how my life changed.

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Yeah, and so everything you were relying on and leaning on and standing on was gone.

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But by that point you're in the states yes and so I mean, at least you spoke english, right?

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no, I.

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I didn't have money.

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I didn't.

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I mean I had the money that after I sell everything and I brought the money and he took the money.

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I didn't have a family, I didn't have friends and I couldn't speak English Nothing.

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So I had to.

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I didn't know where my life is going.

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At the time.

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If my math's right, this is with a seven-year-old and a three-year-old Correct, who also don't speak English Correct, and actually only one of two probably even spoke Persian at the time.

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Well enough to do anything Correct, wow, okay.

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Anything correct, wow, okay.

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And now you're a registered nurse correct?

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Almost 40 years of experience, an author of two books yes, and obviously an experienced coach yes, all on transformation and resilience.

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So how do you get from one to the other?

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Yes, thank you for asking that question and that is the reason that I'm here.

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I am talking with you and that's the reason that I appear on podcasts.

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That's the reason I write books, because everything that I experienced after coming here, considering that, the trauma that I experienced in life growing up, you know, when I was first year nursing student, when, one year after revolution took place, I was captured, I was tortured, I was beaten into a coma.

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I experienced eight years of war between Iran and Iraq, that crazy time.

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So I came here with a lot of trauma and when I came here and my life was upside down, I thought that my life is not worth living and I attempted to end my life.

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Obviously, I'm sitting here and talking with you and that didn't work.

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And then I started praying.

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I said I had one glimpse of hope that helped me.

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If you don't let me go, if you don't let me die, god, whoever is out there?

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You know when you're desperate, you are asking whoever is out there.

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I was beaten into a coma.

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I was working as a nurse.

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With all the things that I experienced during the war, of so many life and death situation, why am I still here?

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And that is the basis and the foundation of what I want to talk with people to.

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When we have that conscious decision, when we make that conscious decision that I am going to do something and I'm going to figure it out and just help me universe, god, whatever that you know our beliefs is and the doors of opportunities open up.

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And as I was okay, one step at a time, I had to go to school, learn English.

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I had to go, and again, because I couldn't work as a nurse, I had to go back to school, become a nurse and get my degree here and everything.

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Yeah, of course, everything.

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Just because I was a nurse over there did not mean that I could go take a board exam and become a nurse.

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But everything that I experienced along the way, it just shifted my whole belief system, my old belief that I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough, I never felt that I belonged anywhere, even in my country, even in my family growing up.

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And every little step that I'm getting goosebumps as I talk about it, every step that I took trying to learn to communicate with other people, and I believe a higher power I call God, opened the doors and people, strangers in a different country.

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They opened their hearts and they opened their wallet.

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And they opened their wallet and they started coming to me and with that little bit of English that I could, you know, get the point across and for some miraculous way, I would understand what people were saying and they will understand what I'm saying.

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And I have no idea, I have no explanation for that supernatural part of miraculous part of my life.

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And I shifted.

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I became a different person and instead of being angry at my husband for doing that, I was angry at the beginning.

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Don't get me wrong.

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I'm not a saint, trust me, and I'm not perfect.

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But I started looking at my life and the second chances that I got in life to look at the thing, look at life with a different perspective.

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That God, universe source, gave me a second chance in life and now I am in control and now I am the one that I can make decision, because my husband used to tell me you cannot make decision.

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My mother used to tell me you cannot do anything.

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So all of those things, I was blessed that I didn't have anybody to tell me I was wrong here.

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I had to make a decision and every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose.

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My purpose was my life was being saved because I can be here.

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I can be the deliverer of messages of hope, of healing, of peace, of unity.

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We look at life with a different perspective, but once we change it and look at through the glasses of gratitude and all the blessings that we have, you know, as a nurse I'm an oncology nurse taking care of cancer patients and I see how life could change in a blink of an eye.

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And I am sitting here, I can talk, I can speak, I can walk, and all of that even if I don't have anything.

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That is a blessing, that is a miracle.

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It's just shifting the way that we look at life.

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Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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Alrighty folks, if you're looking for more perspective and more podcasts, you can check out Transacting Value on Reads Across America Radio.

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Listen in on iHeartRadio, odyssey and TuneIn.

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I am sitting here, I can talk, I can speak, I can walk and all of that, even if I don't have anything.

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That is a blessing, that is a miracle.

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It's just shifting the way that we look at life.

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I hope I answered your question.

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I talk a lot.

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Well, that's okay, you did, and I got to say that among all of the other points.

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One of the crazy things that you brought up is you started all of this reinvention in your 30s.

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Yes, so you know, you think about, let's just say even occupationally, nurses, first responders, service members, and this is any country and this is any country, but let's just say occupationally that group 20 years, 30 years old.

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You know, 20 years in the career, 30 years old, in some cases, late thirties get out and you're lost, but you can communicate, you can focus, you have skillsets, you have things in common as reference points with other people, and you had none of that and you had to totally start over.

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Yes, so, on one hand, the amount of progress you've made and what you've been able to accomplish reinventing your perspective and actually building your career and your life back into something is huge.

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So congratulations, first of all.

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Absolutely the second thing I wanted to bring up about what you just said, though in doing all of those things you said, people helped you, people that probably had no reason to.

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Frankly, I mean, we're talking.

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What was happening then?

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The Berlin Wall came down, obviously, ussr came down or, you know, broke apart all sorts of just global foreign policy politics were happening obviously throughout the middle east as well, and so then you ended up in california first, or oregon first oregon first.

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Yes, I am in oregon okay.

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so you end up up in Oregon and somehow you just get into a university or you get into a nursing program.

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I'm sure it started way before that too, academically.

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Okay, so you go through all of these processes, you start working through all of these things.

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What was it for you?

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Do you think, the impact of these triggers that you had People saying you can't do it, people saying you're not good enough, right?

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What was it for you about these triggers that drove you to succeed instead of give up?

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Oh, that's a wonderful question, josh.

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Yes, it's okay to become upset, it is okay to become angry.

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I just use that force.

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You know, when you are triggered.

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The other day I was telling myself I love my triggers because they are telling me there is something that I need to work on is just many layers, like peeling the onions.

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You know, I am always learning and growing and evolving.

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We all are right.

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So when I felt that everybody was telling me that I cannot do it at the beginning, that my sister, my husband's sister, was telling me that what do you mean?

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That you want to go back to school to become a nurse?

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You cannot even speak English and my husband, like you, can clean the toilets in a hospital, but that is as close as you can get to working in a hospital, and everything that they told me, I felt like, okay, we'll see.

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What do you think?

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And I feel like I didn't do everything to prove them.

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I was thinking about I am done.

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I am done with the past.

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I don't know something within me shifted, and I cannot explain how it shifted and why, but I think it was because that I was rock bottom.

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There was nothing I could do.

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I right now, when I am, I want to do something.

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I'm like are people going to judge me?

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Am I going to fail At that moment?

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What fail?

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There was nothing else to fail in, so I just that was the blessings.

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You know is is just like what.

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What do you mean?

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It's blessing.

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It was a blessing because I didn't have anybody to rely on, so I just had to.

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I was forced.

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The universe, whatever some source was forcing me to be in that position, so I can either take the action step or I say I'm going to die and I didn't die, so I had to take the action step.

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So when we get triggered, people say things and they don't know what is in our heart and they don't know where we are or what we think the dreams that we have.

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There is a reason we have those dreams and there are going to be lots of people to say you know, no, you cannot do it and say, okay, I'm going to take that step and we'll see what comes out as a result of it.

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You think that writing a book in English was easy for me.

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No, it took me 15 years to work on my first book and it took six months to write on my second book.

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So I took yes, thank you.

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It's just when you want something, just go for it and try something.

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Just go for it and try.

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And there are.

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There have been steps that I took and it did not bring me to where I wanted to be and then I pivot.

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You know we have.

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We have learned that.

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Okay, what is the how?

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How can I go to that?

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Where I want?

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And for me I always say spirit, guide me where I want.

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And for me I always say spirit, guide me.

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Where do you want me to be?

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The spirit guide me to put me in a place that the people that need me and the patients that come to me in my nursing job, I say something and they say nobody told me that say something and they say nobody told me that.

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So the spirit put me in the places.

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Whether I am in my coaching business with clients, whether I'm speaking on the stage, whether I am in my nursing job, the spirit when I say use me.

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I want to serve.

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How can I serve today?

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And the people that come on my path are the people that need to hear something about me or the information or the expertise that I have.

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So use that People say no, you do your, you do you.

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You do what is going to bring you closer to what you want, what you dream of.

00:21:46.234 --> 00:21:55.131
And as long as we believe it and take that action, step the other people, they're not important.

00:21:57.661 --> 00:22:08.519
Okay, well, in addition to that internal control, or at least the control you developed over time, what did you establish boundaries then?

00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:24.477
Because you can go one direction, totally committed to work, bury yourself in any number of things, to get busy, to stay busy, to chase ambition and you know this, this cat out of the cage sort of mindset.

00:22:24.477 --> 00:22:33.946
On the other hand, manage your frustration and develop patience and humility and continue to progress.

00:22:33.946 --> 00:22:37.134
How did you establish boundaries?

00:22:39.019 --> 00:22:39.741
Learning lessons.

00:22:39.741 --> 00:22:43.960
I did for a very long time.

00:22:43.960 --> 00:22:46.349
When was it so?

00:22:46.349 --> 00:22:49.172
I came here in November 1990.

00:22:49.172 --> 00:22:55.276
I learned English and got my register RN degree in 1994.

00:22:55.276 --> 00:23:05.083
I bought my, yes, yes years as well.

00:23:05.702 --> 00:23:13.248
Yes, yes, I I just I know I, I don't know how, uh, you know the, how hard, I don't know.

00:23:13.248 --> 00:23:14.551
I just I just did.

00:23:14.551 --> 00:23:31.825
I worked really hard because I had a dream and somehow the universe, god, supported me and as I took steps, I got the progress and I did.

00:23:31.825 --> 00:23:35.851
And in three years working, I worked two jobs.

00:23:35.851 --> 00:23:42.615
I have to buy my own home and 1994, I graduated as a nurse.

00:23:42.615 --> 00:23:45.997
1997, I bought my first house.

00:23:45.997 --> 00:23:51.259
The thing that I have done is possible.

00:23:51.259 --> 00:23:56.824
It may seem extraordinary but it is not.

00:23:57.723 --> 00:24:16.837
And then when I had my first brand new home, that I did it by myself, brand new car.

00:24:16.837 --> 00:24:23.490
My kids were teenagers and I felt I was sick, I was depressed, I was emotionally, mentally, spiritually, rock bottom.

00:24:23.490 --> 00:24:24.653
I had everything but I felt I needed something.

00:24:24.653 --> 00:24:30.421
And then it was the beginning of my spiritual awakening, to say who am I?

00:24:30.421 --> 00:24:33.486
Where did I come from, where am I going?

00:24:33.486 --> 00:24:35.592
Nobody needs me?

00:24:35.592 --> 00:24:38.817
My identity literally shifted.

00:24:38.817 --> 00:24:47.038
That moment, the moment that I had everything, that I worked really hard for it, because I didn't know who I was.

00:24:47.038 --> 00:24:51.914
I was pushed and pushed, and pushed and I did and I achieved.

00:24:51.914 --> 00:24:55.117
And who am I now?

00:24:55.117 --> 00:25:15.390
So I appreciate your question, because if we put ourselves into a place of 100% one way and no play or no connection with the source or no connection with the nature.

00:25:15.390 --> 00:25:17.134
And I say, ground yourself.

00:25:17.134 --> 00:25:28.642
And bringing that becoming so life put me in a places that, like you know, in my face, or a punch in the gut, and I'm'm like, okay, now what?

00:25:29.002 --> 00:25:41.001
And then that was the time that I started searching and researching and learning about mindset and I just was so thirsty for knowledge, I wanted to know.

00:25:41.001 --> 00:25:49.519
And the more I knew, the more, because I didn't start all of this, because I wanted to write a book or speak or any of this.

00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:54.494
I was, I was desperate for healing.

00:25:54.494 --> 00:25:56.317
I was desperate.

00:25:56.317 --> 00:26:01.625
I had nobody, nothing and I had.

00:26:01.884 --> 00:26:04.032
In my job, I took care of my patients.

00:26:04.032 --> 00:26:06.417
I loved it and I still do.

00:26:06.417 --> 00:26:09.443
My family, family, I took care of my kids.

00:26:09.443 --> 00:26:17.902
I didn't have anybody to rely on, literally, and at that moment I said, okay, I'm going to go search.

00:26:17.902 --> 00:26:38.500
And the more I search for the answer, the more that I learned that in order to be successful and I'm not talking about success in a material world in order to feel successful, to me is that inner peace, the sense of belonging, the sense of that.

00:26:38.500 --> 00:26:48.118
Oh, I can take a deep breath and I know I am safe, and that moment that we have to find that balance.

00:26:48.118 --> 00:26:56.690
We can go either or, but then life is going to put us in situations.

00:26:56.690 --> 00:27:14.914
We call it challenging a situation, we call it roadblocks, we call it struggles, but every place that we are in life brings us closer to be this powerful soul that we are, and there's a purpose for all of us.

00:27:14.914 --> 00:27:18.462
And what you are doing, josh, that is your purpose.

00:27:21.070 --> 00:27:23.599
All right, folks sit tight, We'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:27:25.830 --> 00:27:31.663
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00:28:12.113 --> 00:28:14.339
Where values start in the home, there's a purpose for all of us.

00:28:19.114 --> 00:28:22.565
And what you are doing, josh, that is your purpose, feels kind of like it.

00:28:22.565 --> 00:28:29.609
And there's a couple things interesting you just brought up that just came to my mind, for example, getting you closer to a more powerful version of you.

00:28:29.609 --> 00:28:53.262
The last point you just brought up I don't know who's listening to this or watching this conversation and I don't consider myself a very religious person, but when it comes to spirituality, I think there's a very big common reference point between the two, religion and spirituality, where, uh, faith is, I think, the most common, the most common overlap between the two.

00:28:53.262 --> 00:29:38.347
Right, I think your religion is sort of the subjective definition and qualification of that faith, but I think spirituality is the objective recognition of a need for it, because, in either case, by the time you start to rely on it, it's on things that are outside your control, or it's too complex and you can't process it and you get overwhelmed, or for whatever reason let's call it.

00:29:38.347 --> 00:29:44.781
And Christianity, for example, everybody was made in God's image.

00:29:44.781 --> 00:29:49.875
I don't look anything like you, so that can't be accurate.

00:29:49.875 --> 00:30:20.382
Right, there's schools of thought that think that, well, the Bible, the Quran and any other religious text around the world also all recognize that difference as being spiritual and so in what you were able to accomplish and in how you were able to accomplish it and become a more powerful version of yourself, when you started to reconcile with your spiritual deficiencies, it made all the difference and it had nothing to do necessarily with your religion.

00:30:20.382 --> 00:30:24.920
It was an internal spiritual shift.

00:30:24.920 --> 00:30:28.338
And this isn't to get religious or spiritual, but to the point you just brought up.

00:30:28.338 --> 00:30:30.112
I totally agree with you and it makes all the difference.

00:30:31.295 --> 00:30:49.038
Now, saying that, when you brought up the point about mentally, emotionally, physically, just drained at rock bottom, I the first thought that went through my head was like you know, in your, in your physical diet, you know you have carbohydrates and proteins and fats and micronutrients vegetables.

00:30:49.038 --> 00:30:53.175
You know, in your physical diet, you know you have carbohydrates and proteins and fats and micronutrients vegetables.

00:30:53.175 --> 00:30:54.601
You know whatever you might eat to get those.

00:30:54.601 --> 00:31:02.759
And then if you neglect your vegetables, you end up tired and worn down and lethargic and you end up weaker and atrophied and all these other things.

00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:09.482
Right, it's like the spiritual version of your perspective is like the vegetable side.

00:31:09.482 --> 00:31:28.134
You know it's got so much potential and so much power and with very little, minimal neglect, you can tank your entire being state of mind, ability to communicate effectively all the above, so good on you for finally eating your vegetables.

00:31:28.134 --> 00:31:33.351
I guess it it makes it makes so much of a difference.

00:31:33.351 --> 00:31:43.974
But when you hit the bottom, what was it for you that led you to realize you were just burnt out and you needed to change?

00:31:46.159 --> 00:31:49.044
I was sick, physical symptoms, symptoms.

00:31:49.064 --> 00:31:49.423
Oh, actually sick.

00:31:50.030 --> 00:31:50.494
Physical symptoms.

00:31:50.494 --> 00:31:55.035
Yes, I was sick when I was in my early 20s.

00:31:55.035 --> 00:32:13.785
I was not literally, you know, according to the science world or medical world that I had autoimmune disease, but my symptoms when I moved to America and everything that I had, it was a symptom of someone that has autoimmune disease.

00:32:13.785 --> 00:32:18.201
You know, when I was 13 years old I had my first cortisone shot in my leg.

00:32:18.201 --> 00:32:20.941
So my body attacks itself.

00:32:20.941 --> 00:32:24.494
The autoimmune disease is something that medical work.

00:32:24.494 --> 00:32:34.057
They don't know how to, how it happens, why it happens and what to do about it, but it is just like managing the symptoms.

00:32:34.057 --> 00:32:35.361
So I was sick.

00:32:35.361 --> 00:32:44.640
My thyroid gland, for example, was growing more than usual to the point that I had to have radiation to kill all my thyroid cells.

00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:50.423
My stomach was upset and I was bleeding from my stomach.

00:32:50.423 --> 00:32:55.578
I was depressed, I was lonely, I was isolated and all of those things.

00:32:55.578 --> 00:33:03.178
It could be a mental symptoms, could be a physical symptoms, it could be emotional symptoms.

00:33:03.178 --> 00:33:24.134
I mean, if we don't take care of I love the way that you explained about the spirituality component of a spirituality as, like vegetables, I just love that because, um it, without that component of a spirituality and I'm not talking about religious as at all.

00:33:24.134 --> 00:33:30.585
We can be, you know, follow a specific religion and be spiritual as well.

00:33:30.585 --> 00:33:32.797
It is not like you.

00:33:32.797 --> 00:33:39.519
I am not talking about religious beliefs versus spirituality, but we are these powerful souls.

00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:46.364
We come to this body, this time-space, reality, to learn, to grow, to evolve.

00:33:46.364 --> 00:33:59.460
And if we just take that spirit out of the way, no matter what we do, we constantly crash until we get to the point and say what is my purpose?

00:33:59.460 --> 00:34:01.423
Where am I in this life?

00:34:01.423 --> 00:34:06.237
So my issues were physical symptoms.

00:34:06.237 --> 00:34:08.119
I was always sick and tired.

00:34:08.119 --> 00:34:21.994
I mean, I am, of course, you know, 64 years old and I have more energy than when I was in my 20s or 30s, or you know, it's just a holistic version.

00:34:21.994 --> 00:34:28.972
I always say it's the spirit, it's the body, it's the mind, it's the emotions.

00:34:28.972 --> 00:34:32.601
There are these four components that make us who we are.

00:34:32.601 --> 00:34:55.800
And if we neglect one part, then we fall down and that could be physical symptom, it could be like a form of cancer, because, you know, we didn't take care of ourselves, the trauma that we experienced childhood and adulthood, that if we don't take care of those part of us, the trauma that we experienced, we don't heal them.

00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:58.132
And I healing when I talk about healing.

00:34:58.132 --> 00:34:59.355
It's not about cure.

00:34:59.355 --> 00:35:02.521
It's about healing that aspects of us and I.

00:35:03.130 --> 00:35:15.838
I needed to come to a place that say I wrote a letter to my ex-husband, I gave it to my son, to give it to his father, to say I forgive you because you gave me a chance to.

00:35:15.838 --> 00:35:19.304
I love my life, I love who I am.

00:35:19.304 --> 00:35:23.777
I know who I am because of what he did.

00:35:23.777 --> 00:35:27.585
You can say right or wrong, it has nothing to do with it.

00:35:27.585 --> 00:35:32.273
You can say right or wrong, it has nothing to do with it.

00:35:32.273 --> 00:35:34.458
So everything that we go through is just manifest, that the symptom of it.

00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:41.536
What I believe and the way that we look at life outside of us is it creates a symptom.

00:35:41.536 --> 00:35:44.666
Either we are not, we don't have money all the time.

00:35:44.666 --> 00:35:48.155
I'm not going into blame that it is your fault not having money.

00:35:48.155 --> 00:35:50.041
I'm talking you in general.

00:35:50.289 --> 00:36:11.585
Everybody and everything, when we are always chasing money, when we are and we are going paycheck to paycheck, for example, when we are constantly sick, we are constantly tired, when we are constantly depressed, all of these symptoms are means that one of these four components of who we are is out of balance.

00:36:11.585 --> 00:36:28.721
And that's what I do in my holistic coaching that, you know, bring all these aspects of us into play with each other, that part of me that is the hurt little girl, the part of me that has anger.

00:36:28.721 --> 00:36:41.012
It's just honoring, accepting all part of us, the light and the shadow, the goodness and what we call it negativity, all of these things.

00:36:41.012 --> 00:36:53.442
When we embrace ourselves and stop judging ourselves, then we are going to have a better life, and that better life means inner peace, something that we are happy where we are.

00:36:55.851 --> 00:36:58.300
Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:37:00.490 --> 00:37:05.851
Ever felt like your identity slipped away, like the world around you was talking but you couldn't quite understand.

00:37:05.851 --> 00:37:13.844
On Transacting Value, we sit down with Sally Ann Martinez of Heaven's Light Wellness, a spiritual advisor whose life took a shocking turn.

00:37:13.844 --> 00:37:24.039
Imagine at 19, suddenly experiencing the pain of others, realizing you have a gift you never knew existed, from a nervous breakdown to embracing a calling.

00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:31.257
Sally Ann shares her journey of leaving the corporate world to help protect others and connect them with their guardian angels, to navigate life's chaos.

00:37:31.257 --> 00:37:35.019
Discover how she learned to trust her intuition and help others do the same.

00:37:35.019 --> 00:37:43.284
If you're struggling to find your place, tune in to Transacting Value and hear how Sallyann transformed an unexpected revelation into a life of purpose.

00:37:43.284 --> 00:37:46.893
Visit heavenslightwellnesscom to learn more.

00:37:49.257 --> 00:38:01.585
When we embrace ourselves and stop judging ourselves, then we are going to have a better life, and that better life means inner peace, something that we are happy where we are.

00:38:03.556 --> 00:38:07.726
You mentioned balance twice, maybe three times.

00:38:07.726 --> 00:38:10.481
Now I'm going to push back a little bit.

00:38:10.481 --> 00:38:29.487
I think balance is something you have to consistently fight for, to maintain, and I think that's when we start to sacrifice boundaries maybe even in the name of balance in some cases, and we start risking burnout spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever.

00:38:29.487 --> 00:38:40.483
Well, instead of balance, I'm going to recommend harmony, or it may be out of alignment, but accepting that that's okay.

00:38:40.483 --> 00:38:56.742
Sometimes, I think helps to maintain some degree of stability, at least over the amount of control that we have to, whatever that means in any given situation, and mitigate some of the burnout, maybe not the frustration or the anger.

00:38:56.742 --> 00:38:58.059
The emotions are going to be there.

00:38:58.059 --> 00:38:58.521
We're people.

00:38:58.521 --> 00:39:06.280
But yeah, I had somebody come on the show I think it was a couple months ago now and that was one of the points that she made.

00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:09.217
Oh my God, I didn't even know what that meant until we started talking about it.

00:39:10.260 --> 00:39:11.061
I love it.

00:39:11.601 --> 00:39:12.543
Maybe that'll help you out too.

00:39:12.543 --> 00:39:16.889
Yeah, it was a pretty poignant thing she brought up, but that leads me to my next question, then.

00:39:16.889 --> 00:39:32.463
So, talking about coming up with all of these ideas and reconciling with yourself and recognizing who you are, or relearning who you are, I guess I have a feeling that you, as an individual, are still not that different from who you used to be.

00:39:32.463 --> 00:39:41.929
You know, I mean, you had 19, well, 30 years of you before the last 30 years of you.

00:39:41.929 --> 00:39:46.045
So this is a segment of the show called Developing Character.

00:39:46.045 --> 00:39:49.083
D D D, developing Character.

00:39:50.375 --> 00:39:54.567
Now, it's two questions, but here's why this makes a difference.

00:39:54.567 --> 00:40:09.706
I think, when we get into positions where our identities and our roles no longer align or match, your career ends, your relationship ends, your midlife crisis happens and there's a motorcycle in your garage the next morning, whatever it is, you know things change and happen.

00:40:09.706 --> 00:40:18.362
Is you know, things change and happen where you don't recognize you anymore?

00:40:18.362 --> 00:40:34.568
In those moments, there is still, I think, some continuity and some throughput in the scatterplot of all the things you could be, and to me, that's the value system, that's the grounding I think you were alluding to earlier, and so this question is about your value systems as a point of continuity, to give you some degree of control.

00:40:34.568 --> 00:40:37.764
And two questions are rooted in time.

00:40:37.764 --> 00:40:42.106
Okay, so my first question is let's go way back.

00:40:42.106 --> 00:40:46.646
What were some of the values that you were raised on or that you remember being exposed to as a kid?

00:40:46.646 --> 00:40:50.606
And my second question is then what are some of your values now?

00:40:52.115 --> 00:40:53.960
Oh, that's a wonderful question.

00:40:53.960 --> 00:41:07.530
You make me think the values that my family, my parents they were very kind and accepting and generous.

00:41:07.530 --> 00:41:11.099
That is the who I am.

00:41:11.099 --> 00:41:13.023
Uh, I remember my father.

00:41:13.023 --> 00:41:28.463
I lost my father when I was 13 years old and my mom was a teacher, so she had to work two jobs and there was four kids I was the oldest, the other one was two.

00:41:28.463 --> 00:41:32.447
To work so hard made me to.

00:41:33.108 --> 00:41:39.577
When I came here, I had that value in me of working hard to go after what I want.

00:41:39.577 --> 00:42:05.077
And I remember when my husband came, talking at the beginning, you know, with my mom, to say, well, I want to marry Sudube, and she said I have one condition for you she has to go to school and she has to get degrees and she has to I mean, I was like 19 and she has to go to college, she has to get a degree and she has to be able to work.

00:42:05.077 --> 00:42:07.579
Are you going to be okay with that?

00:42:07.579 --> 00:42:10.983
And he said yes, so that was it.

00:42:10.983 --> 00:42:18.936
So for me, when I came here, I had my value of I need to go to school, I need to become a nurse.

00:42:18.936 --> 00:42:26.815
These are the things that made me to achieve what I went after and succeeded in that.

00:42:26.815 --> 00:42:48.353
And also when I look back at my mom, when I lost my father, she didn't have the support of what we have, what I call it in America, or at this time, because I had the opportunity to hire a coach.

00:42:48.353 --> 00:42:58.666
I had the opportunity to get therapy, I had the opportunity to have counseling and read books and all of that my mom's way of communication.

00:42:58.666 --> 00:43:01.889
I wanted to be someone.

00:43:01.889 --> 00:43:18.585
The opposite of what she did woke up and I look at in the mirror and I saw my mom looking back at me and that was my sign that I need to change some of the thing.

00:43:18.585 --> 00:43:23.159
Because I looked at myself, because I was in a kind of perilous situation to my mom.

00:43:23.159 --> 00:43:25.164
For her, her husband died.

00:43:25.164 --> 00:43:26.365
For me I was.

00:43:26.365 --> 00:43:27.648
You know, my husband left.

00:43:27.648 --> 00:43:39.547
So I, like I need to shift, I need to change and I reached out and got help and my value is right now is based on accepting others where they are.

00:43:40.659 --> 00:43:42.735
I do not agree with everybody.

00:43:42.735 --> 00:43:46.505
As I said at the beginning, I'm not a saint, I'm not perfect.

00:43:46.505 --> 00:43:48.302
I have my opinion.

00:43:48.302 --> 00:43:50.903
I value who I am.

00:43:50.903 --> 00:43:51.958
I create.

00:43:51.958 --> 00:43:55.226
My value is right now to create that healthy boundary.

00:43:55.226 --> 00:44:04.938
You know when somebody is trying to be hurting intentionally hurting me by the words that they use.

00:44:04.938 --> 00:44:06.840
I will say you know what?

00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:14.322
I cannot be in your group, for example, or in your space, and you cannot be in my space.

00:44:14.322 --> 00:44:19.463
So these are the values, what I learned from the way that I looked.

00:44:19.463 --> 00:44:28.425
These are the things that I like about how my parents were and these are the things that I didn't like and I need to be better.

00:44:28.425 --> 00:45:05.014
So I have two granddaughters and I tell my son I said you need, and sometimes he jokes with my daughter-in-law, with my daughter, with my grandkids, because we are sharing the value of how the communication, how we communicate.

00:45:05.014 --> 00:45:13.668
We can be frustrated, we can be overwhelmed, but what is the good thing is how we can resolve our disagreements and everything.

00:45:13.668 --> 00:45:16.621
So I hope I answered your second question as well.

00:45:17.385 --> 00:45:32.061
Yeah, you have, and there's a lot of power in that too being able to develop that kind of perspective and awareness and, and, like I said, reconcile it and do something with it ideally productively and proactively, but just do something with it.

00:45:32.202 --> 00:45:35.539
You know is a very special place to be.

00:45:35.539 --> 00:45:47.139
So I guess, really for the sake of time, you mentioned your books and it sounds like a lot of what you just described ended up in your first book, angel Nightingale, right?

00:45:47.139 --> 00:45:54.947
So let's talk a couple minutes about your books and then where people can find them, how people can track them down.

00:45:56.175 --> 00:45:58.324
Yes, thank you so much for asking that.

00:45:58.324 --> 00:46:19.978
My first book, angel Nightingale, is the stories of how the beginning of my spiritual awakening starts with that and the way that my brother passed away in a car accident, which is a long story that we don't want to go there, but that is how I grew up in Iran.

00:46:19.978 --> 00:46:36.235
What happened, my parents, the way that Iran was before revolution, the thing that happened and coming to America and what happened and how I put one foot in front of other and the lessons that I learned.

00:46:36.235 --> 00:46:46.266
And also there's three parts the first part about life in Iran, then life in America and the last part is about my patients.

00:46:46.266 --> 00:46:50.967
The story is the heartwarming stories of my patients that I helped them.

00:46:50.967 --> 00:47:00.085
Some of them they transitioned to the other side, to the spirit world, and with peace and dignity, and some of them gained their health back.

00:47:00.295 --> 00:47:14.788
So it is, and also the reason that I named it Angel Nightingale, because angels means that I called the people that came into my life when I came to America and they were like angels.

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They came in.

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You know, we don't have we think about angels like something that we see with the wings and everything.

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You know every day.

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You are an angel.

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You know you came here to give me a platform that's the way I look at things and honoring the people that have helped me to get to where I am, and also the stories of the way that my patients because I did a lot of home health and hospice work and they opened their home to me and they allowed me to help them and it's a beautiful story, lots of beautiful stories.

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