What Does Your Spending Say About You? with special guest Sarah Jones

The player is loading ...

Become a Global Ambassador for Self-Worth. Text us your feedback! Money coach Sarah Jones takes us on a deeply personal journey through her evolution from crippling financial scarcity to empowered financial decision-making. Sarah challenges conventional thinking about financial wellness, introducing her "six pillars of finance"—creating, spending, saving, investing, organizing, and giving. Her perspective is refreshingly pragmatic yet profound: "Every time you spend a dollar, you're voting fo...

Become a Global Ambassador for Self-Worth. Text us your feedback!

Money coach Sarah Jones takes us on a deeply personal journey through her evolution from crippling financial scarcity to empowered financial decision-making. Sarah challenges conventional thinking about financial wellness, introducing her "six pillars of finance"—creating, spending, saving, investing, organizing, and giving. Her perspective is refreshingly pragmatic yet profound: "Every time you spend a dollar, you're voting for the person you want to become." Even seemingly small decisions like choosing home-cooked meals over fast food represent votes for your standards and values.

(11:14) https://porthouse.kw.com/

(25:02) https://www.wreathsacrossamerica.org/Newsroom/WreathsAcrossAmericaRadio

(41:23) https://www.transactingvaluepodcast.com/the-wild-dance-of-feral-grace-with-chloe-de-sousa/

Get out of debt, get organized, and make your money work for YOU by visiting https://keepingupwiththejonesesfc.com/

Support the show

Looking for more perspective, empowerment, and self-worth?

Website - Facebook - LinkedIn - YouTube

For a chance to hear your question answered on the air, remember to Subscribe and Leave a Voice Message at TransactingValuePodcast.com!

We'll meet you there.

An SDYT Media Production I Deviate from the Norm

00:49 - Values-Based Investing Introduction

08:02 - Self-Worth and Money Connection

15:05 - Communication in Financial Relationships

25:44 - Setting Personal Financial Standards

34:13 - Creating Money and Breaking Cycles

43:37 - Teaching Financial Values to Children

52:58 - Vulnerability and Building Self-Worth

WEBVTT

00:00:00.960 --> 00:00:10.875
The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience.

00:00:10.875 --> 00:00:37.250
Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity.

00:00:37.250 --> 00:00:42.731
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character.

00:00:42.731 --> 00:00:45.027
This is why values still hold value.

00:00:45.027 --> 00:00:47.466
This is Transacting Value.

00:00:49.341 --> 00:00:56.628
The same time you're spending going through the drive-thru, you could be spending at home cooking a healthy meal, and that's a vote where you want your dollars to go.

00:00:56.628 --> 00:01:04.004
That's a vote for the standard of living that you want to be doing right, and that's what we do as individuals.

00:01:05.989 --> 00:01:07.152
Today on Transacting Value.

00:01:07.152 --> 00:01:15.105
Who are you when you decide how you want to invest your money?

00:01:15.105 --> 00:01:19.843
See, people decide where their money goes based on one of three things what they need, what they want and what they think they need or want.

00:01:19.843 --> 00:01:33.132
And so, in today's conversation, we're going to talk with the money coach, sarah Jones, all about values-based investing, what finances have done for her and what her life has become now as a result of her increasing amount of self-worth through the process.

00:01:33.132 --> 00:01:38.668
Guys, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and from SDYT Media, this is Transacting Value.

00:01:38.668 --> 00:01:41.635
Sarah, how are you doing?

00:01:42.960 --> 00:01:45.448
Hey, josh, I'm great, I'm so excited to be here today.

00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:49.191
Me too, because you've got a pretty cool story and I don't know.

00:01:49.191 --> 00:01:55.051
Actually, I do know I've never talked to anybody with something similar to your circumstance, which is kind of exciting for me.

00:01:55.051 --> 00:02:00.721
There's a few themes right, like you're a responsible adult and you're an experienced adult.

00:02:00.721 --> 00:02:08.882
You're not just breaking out on your own and you know in your early 20s or something you know what.

00:02:08.882 --> 00:02:09.846
I don't want to steal your thunder.

00:02:09.846 --> 00:02:10.468
I'm gonna let you do that.

00:02:10.468 --> 00:02:11.493
How about you just take the next couple minutes?

00:02:11.493 --> 00:02:17.171
Who are you, where are you from and you know what sort of things are shaping your perspective on life as it applies to these kinds of topics?

00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:27.206
Yeah, it's, my story is a little crazy and we definitely don't have enough time to get into all of it, Right, but I think it's important.

00:02:27.487 --> 00:03:00.872
You know, one of the things that I like to share, that I hope people really gain from the conversations that they have with me, is that, you know, I know it's important for you to talk about self-worth and everything, and for me, I didn't have a whole lot of self-worth for many years and I am in my mid forties now, but it's really taken me call me a late bloomer in this area of self-worth and how it really impacts your life, From relationships you know with your partner, with your kids, with your money.

00:03:01.354 --> 00:03:03.907
I mean, it really impacts all areas.

00:03:03.907 --> 00:03:37.492
And so I start off with saying that because I am a money coach now and over the past several years of really understanding and developing my self-worth and learning more about that and reflecting on how that's made such an impact in my money has really allowed me then to pass that along to my kids, who are in their early 20s now, right, and and I can't really correct all your mistakes, so to speak, but you can move forward with some things right and and do things differently, and I think so much of the time.

00:03:37.492 --> 00:03:45.587
People think it's too late for me to change my money story or it's too late to you know kind of work on my self worth, and the truth is is it's not too late.

00:03:47.252 --> 00:03:48.474
Okay, Well then let me ask you this.

00:03:48.474 --> 00:03:50.620
You said the money story.

00:03:50.620 --> 00:03:52.564
You mentioned self-worth a couple of times.

00:03:52.564 --> 00:03:54.631
What does one have to do with the other?

00:03:54.631 --> 00:03:56.182
How do you see them overlapping?

00:03:57.366 --> 00:03:58.688
Yeah, in so many ways.

00:03:58.688 --> 00:03:59.752
That's such a great question.

00:03:59.752 --> 00:04:16.048
For many years, um, I had very low self-esteemesteem, which translated to low self-worth, and I didn't really live by I would say necessarily like a core set of values, because I didn't really know what those were.

00:04:16.048 --> 00:04:22.353
I had such low, it was just I didn't think highly of myself at all.

00:04:22.353 --> 00:04:36.074
And where that really impacted and where I really saw that come through was in money, where I lived in severe scarcity mindset for many years, literally terrified to spend money.

00:04:36.074 --> 00:04:48.562
Money went into a savings account and I always say I would do some shady, you know, to avoid pulling money out, right, some shady, you know, to avoid pulling money out Right.

00:04:48.562 --> 00:04:57.583
I got really good at creating new ways to make money, but I didn't see the self-worth, I didn't see the value in in growing my streams of income that I already had.

00:04:57.583 --> 00:05:10.466
Um, I started a business gosh, almost 18 years ago now and for many years I didn't feel like I was really successful and it had nothing to do with the business.

00:05:10.466 --> 00:05:32.341
It had everything to do with me, right, because I didn't feel like people, I didn't have a story, nobody cared about little Sarah, nobody cared about what I could do to help them and that really came back to my self-worth and what I, how I felt about myself.

00:05:32.341 --> 00:05:33.365
And then that leads into my marriage.

00:05:33.386 --> 00:05:34.470
You know, I've, um, I'm on my second marriage.

00:05:34.470 --> 00:05:38.903
My current husband and I we've been together almost 20 years now, but it greatly impacted my marriage.

00:05:38.903 --> 00:05:47.860
We were on the verge of divorce twice, um, and you know, people say that the leading cause of divorce is money, and I disagree with that.

00:05:47.860 --> 00:05:48.382
I think that's.

00:05:48.382 --> 00:05:53.802
I think that the leading cause of divorce actually has to do with the way that we communicate about money.

00:05:53.802 --> 00:05:58.473
Right, and a lot of times that comes in because we don't have a.

00:05:58.473 --> 00:06:09.110
I didn't believe, for my story specifically, I didn't believe enough in myself to know what I for my story specifically, I didn't believe enough in myself to know what I, um, how I could even communicate that to my husband, right, what, what?

00:06:09.110 --> 00:06:10.392
Let me give you an example, josh.

00:06:10.392 --> 00:06:15.812
Do you mind if I just share an example of of something that really impacted me in my marriage and money?

00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:17.300
Oh, not at all.

00:06:18.564 --> 00:06:21.290
And my husband and I have worked through this now.

00:06:21.290 --> 00:06:28.533
So if you're listening to this, you're going to say, gosh, he's, he sounds terrible, he really isn't right, he really isn't.

00:06:28.533 --> 00:06:54.646
But when he was in a relationship before you know and and he did things right we all do things in previous relationships but when him and I got together, he made a lot of comments Like I used to spend all kinds of money on you know flowers, that this florist and and I used to spend all kinds of money on you know my ex at this shop, and we used to do all these things.

00:06:54.646 --> 00:06:59.552
And from my perspective, my husband didn't do those same things for me.

00:06:59.552 --> 00:07:10.627
But the reason for that was is because I didn't have um, I kept telling him, hey, don't spend money there.

00:07:10.627 --> 00:07:13.076
He would buy me a gift card and what would I do?

00:07:13.076 --> 00:07:14.281
I would turn around and sell it.

00:07:15.343 --> 00:07:20.754
I would get upset, right, because I lived in scarcity mindset and I didn't have this.

00:07:20.754 --> 00:07:35.312
My self-esteem was was really low, right, and so I really was telling him, I was teaching him how to treat me and I was really upset with him for that.

00:07:35.312 --> 00:07:41.812
And really it wasn't him, it was, it was all me, it was all the way that I was communicating these things to him.

00:07:41.812 --> 00:07:50.031
So why would he want to spend money on me, buy me a gift card, if I was going to turn around and sell it again, right For those those dollars?

00:07:50.031 --> 00:07:53.908
And this is really important.

00:07:53.908 --> 00:08:02.533
When it comes back to our money specifically and the communication, because I didn't know how to effectively communicate to my husband and him to me either.

00:08:02.533 --> 00:08:04.824
Right, what was important to us.

00:08:04.824 --> 00:08:18.750
When it came to money in all areas, but I talk specifically about money, the kind of life that we really wanted to live we did not communicate effectively and so we were button heads for many, many, many years.

00:08:20.901 --> 00:08:29.355
And so the effective communication you're referring to, I assume, is not not just the vocabulary, because that's like the initiator's perspective, right?

00:08:29.355 --> 00:08:35.952
So what role does each party have in this communication that you guys identified?

00:08:37.779 --> 00:08:38.885
Yeah, and that's a great question.

00:08:38.885 --> 00:08:42.349
It's partly the language that we use.

00:08:42.349 --> 00:08:48.869
Right, it is part of the language that we use, but it's also identifying how our partners hear us.

00:08:50.491 --> 00:08:51.995
Okay, how do you do that?

00:08:53.322 --> 00:08:55.360
Well, this is a process.

00:08:55.360 --> 00:09:01.792
This is not something that happens overnight, but what I had to learn was I had to start asking different questions of my husband.

00:09:01.792 --> 00:09:04.136
If I wanted to really get to the bottom of this and I wanted to change the way that we communicated.

00:09:04.136 --> 00:09:05.186
I needed to start asking different questions of my husband.

00:09:05.186 --> 00:09:14.671
If I wanted to really get to the bottom of this and I wanted to change the way that we communicated, I needed to start asking different questions of him, and oftentimes what we get caught up in doing is like hey, when are you getting paid?

00:09:14.671 --> 00:09:16.764
How much is your check we need to pay bills?

00:09:16.764 --> 00:09:18.791
Are you going to sit down with me and write this budget?

00:09:18.791 --> 00:09:22.706
That's not effective communication, right?

00:09:22.706 --> 00:09:29.525
What became more effective communication is me looking at my husband and saying, hey, you know what?

00:09:29.525 --> 00:09:30.870
What do you actually?

00:09:30.870 --> 00:09:33.363
What do you want out of life that you don't feel like you're getting right now?

00:09:34.384 --> 00:09:34.905
Oh, interesting.

00:09:36.208 --> 00:09:38.481
What do you value spending your dollars on Like?

00:09:38.481 --> 00:09:40.005
Where would you rather spend your money?

00:09:41.330 --> 00:09:42.091
Where did that get you?

00:09:43.460 --> 00:09:44.523
Well, it it?

00:09:44.523 --> 00:09:53.650
At first not very far, because he was like, yeah, we've had some of these conversations, right, and none of our conversations ended in anything that was productive.

00:09:53.650 --> 00:10:09.149
It oftentimes they ended up in fights, but I kept at it and eventually, josh, what happened was is I learned that the way that we were spending money, my husband didn't feel like he didn't feel like he was living the life that he really wanted to live.

00:10:09.149 --> 00:10:21.826
It wasn't about buying toys, it wasn't about spending money per se, but he was sick and tired of me saying hey, we're broke, no, we can't do that, nope, we don't have money for that.

00:10:22.346 --> 00:10:26.173
He felt like we were doing the things that I wanted to do, but not the things that he wanted to do.

00:10:26.173 --> 00:10:34.990
He's like how come we always come up with the money for the stuff that you wanna do and I'm left over here, like you know, working 80 hours a week for nothing, right?

00:10:34.990 --> 00:10:41.067
And so, by asking different questions, I actually got more to the root cause of what he actually wanted.

00:10:41.067 --> 00:10:48.183
It gave him the space to open up in a.

00:10:48.183 --> 00:10:50.495
In a way that started to develop trust between us that it wasn't going to turn into an argument.

00:10:50.495 --> 00:11:01.705
It was really me just trying to understand him right and really listen to what he was saying, with no um, no comeback or no response right away.

00:11:01.705 --> 00:11:07.929
Right, it was really meant to just gain insight into his thinking and what he actually wanted.

00:11:09.946 --> 00:11:12.386
All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:11:14.620 --> 00:11:20.447
Tampa Bay sun-kissed beaches, a thriving art scene and a community that embraces diversity.

00:11:20.447 --> 00:11:22.565
It's more than just a place to live.

00:11:22.565 --> 00:11:23.830
It's a lifestyle.

00:11:23.830 --> 00:11:25.863
At Porthouse, tampa Bay Realtor, I understand that finding the right home is's more than just a place to live.

00:11:25.863 --> 00:11:25.969
It's a lifestyle.

00:11:25.969 --> 00:11:29.110
At Porthouse, tampa Bay Realtor, I understand that finding the right home is about more than just square footage.

00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:33.091
It's about finding the right character, culture and community.

00:11:33.091 --> 00:11:42.241
It's about finding a place where you can truly belong, alongside a network of experienced marketers, inspectors, realtors and lenders.

00:11:42.241 --> 00:11:44.768
We're not just experts in the Tampa Bay market.

00:11:44.768 --> 00:11:52.779
We are your neighbors and we're passionate about helping you find the perfect place to call home.

00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:55.914
Follow along on YouTube, facebook and LinkedIn at Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtor.

00:11:55.914 --> 00:11:59.850
Porthouse, tampa Bay Realtor, where values start in the home.

00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:13.470
It was really me just trying to understand him right and really listen to what he was saying, with no um, no comeback or no response right away.

00:12:13.470 --> 00:12:22.264
Right, it was really meant to just gain insight into his thinking and what he actually wanted now to.

00:12:23.186 --> 00:12:36.376
That sounds like, I guess, a necessity in a relationship like with another person, but a luxury when it comes to a relationship internally as an individual.

00:12:36.376 --> 00:12:45.924
Because you know, before you get into a relationship, I guess, first off, congratulations, that is a milestone in itself, right, I don't want to trivialize that either Like good job.

00:12:45.924 --> 00:13:06.284
But you know, when you get into a relationship with somebody and this isn't my I don't know field of study, like the Marine Corps infantry is my professional background, so you know it's a lot less conversational aptitude and a little more ineptitude, but you know that's sort of the baseline I'm coming from here.

00:13:06.284 --> 00:13:19.168
So when it comes to relationships I think between couples though I think it's easier to say that it's important you need to see where the other person's coming from and then make your financial decisions off of that.

00:13:20.409 --> 00:13:32.495
But if you're not in a relationship or a couple or whatever with somebody else and it's just you and your own budget and your own decisions, at whatever age, for whatever first, second, third time in your life it's happened, I think it gets overlooked.

00:13:32.495 --> 00:13:37.312
I think it's an underrated conversation where you're like what do I actually care about?

00:13:37.312 --> 00:13:40.602
Where do I actually want to spend my money and how do I want to do it?

00:13:40.602 --> 00:13:43.789
Because you can be your own system of checks and balances.

00:13:43.789 --> 00:13:51.200
Where you know present, you can balance out future, you decisions, if you're a little bit more intentional, right.

00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:58.094
So how do you develop it then, when it's just you and not a husband, not a spouse, not a whoever?

00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:00.626
That's such a great question.

00:14:00.626 --> 00:14:03.466
And I think it's such a great point because a lot of times people aren't.

00:14:03.466 --> 00:14:10.491
They're just hey, it's my income, it's my expenses and you know, whatever, right, there's nobody really to bounce those ideas off of.

00:14:10.491 --> 00:14:12.921
What I do when I'm working with clients is a couple of things.

00:14:12.921 --> 00:14:15.386
Number one I do ask and encourage them to.

00:14:15.386 --> 00:14:16.990
We go through a whole system.

00:14:17.030 --> 00:14:19.363
But what do I value spending my dollars on?

00:14:19.363 --> 00:14:23.509
What do I want to be doing that I don't feel like I can do right now?

00:14:23.509 --> 00:14:31.166
So you start really to kind of pinpoint and pull out some of these things that you probably have not really asked yourself.

00:14:31.166 --> 00:14:43.184
We all say like I wish I could fill in the blank, but when it really comes down to what do you really want to be doing with your money that you don't feel like you can right now, you start to really pinpoint and pull those things out.

00:14:43.184 --> 00:14:45.607
It starts to give you insight into your own spending.

00:14:45.607 --> 00:14:52.635
That then allows you to be looking at where are my dollars going, where can I reassign those dollars?

00:14:52.635 --> 00:15:06.929
Instead of going to the gas station and picking up some snacks, could I reassign those dollars to my travel fund, because that's actually what brings value to my life, and I'd really like to be doing more of that, right, because that's actually what brings value to my life, and I'd really like to be doing more of that, right?

00:15:06.951 --> 00:15:08.513
I think another question to ask is what?

00:15:08.513 --> 00:15:20.342
What standards am I setting for myself for years, for years, and even though I was married, that really comes back to individual and this is gonna this.

00:15:20.342 --> 00:15:32.192
This might be a little TMI, but, you know, for years, I would wear, you know, undergarments full of holes, right, because I didn't want to spend the money, but that's a standard that I set for myself, right?

00:15:32.192 --> 00:15:34.567
That's a standard that you set for yourself.

00:15:34.567 --> 00:15:38.327
It's not about the money, it's a standard in which you're willing to live.

00:15:38.327 --> 00:15:44.429
And when you start to change those standards, you start to view how you spend your dollars differently.

00:15:44.429 --> 00:15:57.802
Standards you start to view how you spend your dollars differently, and so, even as little as hey, I'm not going to wear socks with holes in them, or, you know, undergarments that aren't supportive anymore, right, it's not about the spending, it's that standard in which you're allowing yourself to live.

00:15:58.504 --> 00:16:02.013
This case in point going through, you know, the drive-through.

00:16:02.013 --> 00:16:05.568
Drive-through is a big deal for a lot of people, right?

00:16:05.568 --> 00:16:07.124
Hey, it's quick, it's convenient.

00:16:07.124 --> 00:16:13.405
So we think right, I don't have a lot of time to meal prep, but that's a standard in which you're setting.

00:16:13.405 --> 00:16:14.128
Do you know?

00:16:14.128 --> 00:16:15.451
You can meal prep at home.

00:16:15.451 --> 00:16:20.561
And it's not, again, about saving money per se, but it's about saving your health and really directing your dollars.

00:16:20.561 --> 00:16:22.264
You get to vote every time you spend a dollar.

00:16:22.264 --> 00:16:28.735
It's a voting for the person that you want to be and it's a vote for you know the standards that you're setting for yourself.

00:16:30.063 --> 00:16:30.245
Right.

00:16:30.525 --> 00:16:57.485
So when you're going through the drive through and let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with the drive through, I'm not knocking it but what I see is is you could be spending the same amount of time going to the grocery store, getting meals and food that maybe are a little bit healthier for you, that are helping you build your you know, build a healthy body, build a healthy brain, build a healthy financial system, because you're spending dollars in ways that are bringing more value to your life and you're not spending any more time.

00:16:57.485 --> 00:16:59.390
But it's that redirect.

00:16:59.390 --> 00:17:13.974
Same time you're spending going through the drive through, you could be spending at home cooking a healthy meal, and that's a vote where you want your dollars to go, that's a vote for the standard of living that you want to be doing Right, and that's what we do as individuals.

00:17:14.415 --> 00:17:40.257
Then that translates into our partners, our kids, our other relationships you said a couple of things that I think would make really cool t-shirts and bumper stickers, but as it applies to this conversation, right, a vote for the person that you want to become is such a powerfully underrepresented phrase and I think it's such a ridiculously what's the word?

00:17:40.257 --> 00:17:42.101
Ubiquitous application?

00:17:42.101 --> 00:17:47.030
Like man, any form of fitness, right?

00:17:47.030 --> 00:17:51.701
Physical fitness, mental fitness, financial fitness, emotional fitness, behavioral, whatever all the above.

00:17:51.701 --> 00:17:58.820
What a crazy powerful point you just brought up in the infantry.

00:17:58.862 --> 00:18:11.047
When we want to make changes, if we've got what's called indirect fire opportunities, right, direct being arguably a straight line, indirect sort of more like a lob on an arc to hit a target, whether you can see it or not.

00:18:11.047 --> 00:18:23.005
And when we've got these indirect fire opportunities, you really only have two options for how you want to make corrections to get rounds on target, whatever the target happens to be, and we call it creeping and bracketing, right.

00:18:23.005 --> 00:18:30.963
And so creeping is you make incremental changes in depth or laterally, or whatever applies, until you get to the target without overshooting.

00:18:30.963 --> 00:18:44.107
Bracketing is you intentionally overshoot to a opposite extreme and then you back up by half and then go forward by half and back up by half and go forward by half until you centralize on your target right.

00:18:44.107 --> 00:18:45.842
Neither is necessarily right or wrong.

00:18:45.842 --> 00:18:50.196
It just depends on the circumstance.

00:18:50.217 --> 00:18:56.933
And I think this is an application for that similar point where, in my case, I had a friend at one point say I was a cat out of the cage.

00:18:56.933 --> 00:19:03.188
I had a pretty sheltered life growing up, and so when I first went to college, I didn't care about anything.

00:19:03.188 --> 00:19:17.859
I just wanted to explore, expand, expound whatever, and eventually it led to a bunch of other Xs as well and I just ended up with debt that I'm still paying off for absolutely no reason.

00:19:17.859 --> 00:19:44.683
You know, trying to figure out how to get a full tank of gas when it was $1.50 a gallon and all of these other things that really shouldn't have been problems when I had a job and I was going to school on scholarships, and so I think I went to an extreme and it made me really uncomfortable spending money after that, and I backpedaled to the opposite extreme and I said well, I'm not spending money on anything similar to what you described.

00:19:45.705 --> 00:19:47.628
And then I enlisted in the Marine Corps and didn't have to.

00:19:47.628 --> 00:19:54.414
You know the sacrifice then was take my freedoms and my paycheck, but what are you going to do?

00:19:54.414 --> 00:20:03.888
You know it taught you some responsibility in the process, and so the more you learn about yourself individually, I think, the easier it becomes to build the habit.

00:20:03.888 --> 00:20:18.748
But I'm curious once you have a habit as sort of a routine or a habit of thought, you know being doing, spending, whatever a habit, is it always applicable to the same degree, or how do you change it then?

00:20:20.516 --> 00:20:28.200
And I think there's nuance in everything, but we all go into new seasons of life, right, and I think that we just build on the habits that we had.

00:20:29.201 --> 00:20:41.596
You know, there's that saying that says you know, the habits and the actions that you took to get to where you're at now are not going to be the same ones that are going to take you to that next level, and I think that that's true to a certain extent.

00:20:41.596 --> 00:20:45.506
But I also believe that we just build on what we've already done.

00:20:45.506 --> 00:20:55.593
For example, my spending habits and you know, the things that we went through when the kids were still at home are very different now, being full-time RVers and empty nesters.

00:20:55.593 --> 00:20:59.464
Right, we still use a lot of the same principles.

00:20:59.464 --> 00:21:24.440
We still are spending our dollars in areas that bring value to our life, but we do it very differently now than we did before, right, and so I think it's, I think there's nuance with every situation, but it just depends on what season of life, and and knowing that you're always going to be coming into a new season of life and so you're always going to be building on what you start today is not going to be the same thing that you're doing, you know, 30 years from now.

00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:29.709
You're going to be building on those habits and those skills as the seasons of life change.

00:21:30.455 --> 00:21:35.027
For a long time, you know, our main focus was building up some savings and getting out of debt.

00:21:35.027 --> 00:21:38.585
We've been debt free twice, so, you know, didn't learn my lesson the first go around.

00:21:38.585 --> 00:21:40.818
You know, really took a hard.

00:21:40.818 --> 00:21:54.340
You know life throwing a lot of stuff our way for me to realize some of the gaps out in the marketplace, right, and the the information that was out there to make sure that when we became debt-free for the second time, I wanted it to be that way forever.

00:21:54.340 --> 00:21:57.327
Um, but that's what.

00:21:57.327 --> 00:22:00.886
That was our main focus, and so we used our money very differently there.

00:22:00.886 --> 00:22:10.621
Now our main focus is building our net worth right, and so we utilize strategies and habits differently now than we did then.

00:22:10.621 --> 00:22:26.780
We probably live more lean now than we did then, because building our net worth and our investments and quote unquote retirement accounts that's really important to us because we would like to be able to retire Right.

00:22:27.382 --> 00:22:28.624
Um, I don't want to have.

00:22:28.624 --> 00:22:29.727
I don't want to have to.

00:22:29.727 --> 00:22:31.148
That's the key word there.

00:22:31.148 --> 00:22:36.435
I don't want to have to work until the day I die, which is what everybody else in my family has done Right.

00:22:36.435 --> 00:22:43.900
So I want to be able to work because I really want to, not because I have to, and I'm still in that have to stage Um.

00:22:43.900 --> 00:22:52.537
So our priorities, you know, we're using building on those habits and skills that we learned through these different seasons, but now our focus is a little bit differently.

00:22:52.537 --> 00:23:07.650
So we live more lean now than we did then and we're great with it because we're really reaching those goals and again we're spending our dollars in ways that feel better now than they've probably ever felt before.

00:23:09.075 --> 00:23:27.769
Well, so then, as it applies to investing, let's say, your money, regardless of the return, more time, more income, or whatever but as it applies to spending your money, is this sort of in your experience, defined as like a pillar of, I don't know, maybe values-based investing, then?

00:23:27.769 --> 00:23:29.682
Or how do you qualify this mindset shift?

00:23:31.134 --> 00:23:39.786
You know, I think I always want people to be spending their dollars, and when I say spending, that includes, you know, saving, investing, giving.

00:23:39.786 --> 00:23:42.282
You know it's kind of all rolled up into one.

00:23:42.282 --> 00:23:48.204
But I want you to be using your dollars maybe that's a better word is using them in ways that bring value to your life.

00:23:48.204 --> 00:23:53.099
And you know, I think that it really just depends on what's important to you.

00:23:53.099 --> 00:24:10.010
Some people, um, you know they, they, they are more focused on, you know, traveling, getting these experiences, and they're not so focused on, maybe, retirement traveling, getting these experiences, and they're not so focused on, maybe, retirement.

00:24:10.030 --> 00:24:18.903
And I'm just going to use that as because everybody knows it right, Everybody seems to be so focused on, like retirement, investing and I'm not here to say whether that's good or bad or both or neither right.

00:24:18.903 --> 00:24:30.422
I just want people to get into this habit of looking and I do believe it's a mindset shift of what really brings me value, what brings value to my life.

00:24:30.422 --> 00:24:37.983
But I want to be really really clear here, Josh, that it's not an either or it's not a I can.

00:24:37.983 --> 00:24:42.439
I'm not taking it with me when I die, so I'm going to spend it all today or I.

00:24:42.439 --> 00:24:44.022
You got to have fun today.

00:24:44.022 --> 00:24:45.846
You can't save everything for the future.

00:24:45.846 --> 00:24:50.765
Those two mindsets are really prevalent and there's a way that you can do both.

00:24:50.765 --> 00:24:57.528
You can live for today, you can experience today and also plan for what tomorrow is going to bring.

00:24:57.528 --> 00:25:00.642
There's a way to do both.

00:25:02.736 --> 00:25:05.184
Alrighty folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:25:05.184 --> 00:25:07.901
All righty folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

00:25:07.941 --> 00:25:14.200
All righty folks, if you're looking for more perspective and more podcast, you can check out transacting value on reads across america radio.

00:25:14.761 --> 00:25:24.105
Listen in on iheart radio odyssey and tune in those two mindsets are really prevalent and there's a way that you can do both.

00:25:24.105 --> 00:25:32.428
You can live for today, you can experience today and also plan for what tomorrow is going to bring Right.

00:25:32.428 --> 00:25:33.961
There's a way to do both.

00:25:35.095 --> 00:25:42.694
Well, and I think that's the way that self-awareness plays, being able to develop that kind of harmony.

00:25:42.694 --> 00:26:00.598
I think balance and maybe this is semantics, I don't know, but in my head it's easier to compartmentalize where balancing those types of decisions becomes the either, or it's the opportunity cost, the sort of stereotypical, you know supply-demand, economic-driven mindset, I guess.

00:26:00.598 --> 00:26:05.125
But I think harmony comes in when it becomes the and.

00:26:05.125 --> 00:26:10.674
But I think harmony comes in when it becomes the and, not the either or anymore.

00:26:10.674 --> 00:26:42.531
And then sustaining that to whatever degree of peace and contentment you need, because you're more content with your decisions, maybe, or more apt to mitigate some degree of buyer's remorse, maybe.

00:26:42.551 --> 00:26:47.066
How do you begin to build that kind of self-reliance, you know, trusting you're making the right decision without worrying all the time, and managing your anxiety.

00:26:47.066 --> 00:26:50.371
Maybe it's rooted in spending, maybe it's not.

00:26:50.371 --> 00:26:53.824
I mean, how did you do it in your 20s?

00:26:53.824 --> 00:26:55.340
How are you doing it in your 40s?

00:26:55.340 --> 00:27:00.488
How do you coach and advise people that are paycheck to paycheck shift workers?

00:27:00.488 --> 00:27:02.701
You know three kids in daycare.

00:27:02.701 --> 00:27:05.775
How do you juggle these types of concepts?

00:27:05.775 --> 00:27:06.618
You?

00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:07.584
know three kids in daycare.

00:27:07.584 --> 00:27:09.634
How do you, how do you juggle these types of concepts?

00:27:09.634 --> 00:27:15.488
Well, I think number one is I want people to feel confident with their money right and feel confident in their money decisions.

00:27:15.488 --> 00:27:16.029
So how do we do that?

00:27:16.029 --> 00:27:18.056
Number one, it's increasing your financial literacy.

00:27:18.056 --> 00:27:27.425
What I find is that we are expected we are, quote unquote, expected to know about money, but the truth is is very few of us are actually taught about money.

00:27:27.425 --> 00:27:35.925
Very few of us are taught how it flows in and out of our life and very few of us are taught really how to use it in the best way possible.

00:27:35.925 --> 00:27:37.857
We are thrown.

00:27:37.857 --> 00:27:40.123
You know, hey, grab a credit card.

00:27:40.123 --> 00:27:42.367
You know, take out a personal loan.

00:27:42.367 --> 00:27:45.040
Neither of those are bad.

00:27:45.040 --> 00:27:46.721
Right, there's no good or bad here.

00:27:46.721 --> 00:27:51.125
I would just want to put this little caveat it's the way that you use them right.

00:27:51.125 --> 00:27:52.635
Everything is a tool.

00:27:52.635 --> 00:27:56.305
So if you're utilizing these things as tools to help you get farther, great.

00:27:56.305 --> 00:27:59.865
Most of us didn't use them or are not using them to help us get farther.

00:27:59.865 --> 00:28:02.355
We actually set ourselves back quite a bit.

00:28:02.355 --> 00:28:07.836
So it's just utilizing those tools, but it's becoming confident in your money decisions.

00:28:08.278 --> 00:28:12.938
Most people are not confident in their money decisions and that's because they don't have the literacy.

00:28:12.938 --> 00:28:16.586
They actually don't know about money and we are afraid to ask.

00:28:16.586 --> 00:28:25.740
We are afraid to say listen, I don't know how to make a budget and, for the record, I don't call it a budget, I call it a money plan.

00:28:25.740 --> 00:28:28.980
I talk very differently about money than a lot of people.

00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:30.361
We don't use the B word here.

00:28:30.361 --> 00:28:44.403
I want you to plan out your money right, and most people don't know how to create one that is realistic and is sustainable and is meant to lead them to the places that they really want to go.

00:28:44.403 --> 00:28:49.239
So that's building literacy, and I think people are afraid to ask that.

00:28:49.239 --> 00:29:00.063
So don't be afraid to ask the questions, because let me tell you, there really is no stupid question and I mean that from the bottom of my heart when it comes to money, there's no stupid question.

00:29:00.063 --> 00:29:08.217
So that's how you start to build your confidence, to build on that a little bit you mentioned.

00:29:08.217 --> 00:29:09.039
You know people.

00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:12.596
You know shift workers, people that have, you know, kids at home.

00:29:12.596 --> 00:29:16.163
Daycare is expensive, right Cost of living, inflation is hitting all of us.

00:29:17.576 --> 00:29:21.736
I, when I'm working with clients, we base all of our teachings and all of our things around.

00:29:21.736 --> 00:29:37.021
I call them, the six pillars of finance, and it's creating, spending, saving, investing, organizing and giving, and so everything we do is surrounded these six pillars, and one of the main pillars is creating money.

00:29:37.021 --> 00:29:40.328
We have to be really good at creating more money.

00:29:40.328 --> 00:29:44.680
This goes back to that standard in which you're setting for yourself.

00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:55.432
This goes back to that standard in which you're setting for yourself If you're willing to just get by or barely get by, you're not going to get to the places that you really want to go because you're setting that standard for yourself.

00:29:56.175 --> 00:30:03.685
There are ways to make more money and create more income so you can move yourself out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle.

00:30:03.685 --> 00:30:05.240
There are ways.

00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:08.009
There's a guy out there and I don't know if you can post yourself out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle.

00:30:08.009 --> 00:30:08.178
There are ways.

00:30:08.178 --> 00:30:11.329
There's a guy out there and I don't know if you can post this or not, but I'm going to share.

00:30:11.329 --> 00:30:16.640
There is a gentleman out there I think he's in his mid 20s, maybe late 20s.

00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:21.807
He literally writes a note in a Sharpie marker on a potato, an Idaho potato.

00:30:22.637 --> 00:30:25.579
And sends it in the mail and he is making what?

00:30:25.579 --> 00:30:29.519
10, 15,000 a month, maybe even more than that.

00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:34.232
Now, there is absolutely no reason why all of us are not making more money.

00:30:34.232 --> 00:30:42.838
Right, there are ways to make money, and so if you're in the paycheck to paycheck cycle number one, you got to get good at creating more income.

00:30:42.838 --> 00:30:46.567
It doesn't necessarily mean taking on another full-time job.

00:30:46.915 --> 00:30:51.685
We have to be creative here, and that can be a really fun process.

00:30:51.685 --> 00:30:57.426
That can be really fun and and you know, bring out some things that we didn't even know we had within us.

00:30:57.426 --> 00:31:01.604
But that's going to help you move through some of these tough times.

00:31:01.604 --> 00:31:03.159
And listen, everybody has tough times.

00:31:03.159 --> 00:31:04.104
I'm not here to say you know that tough times.

00:31:04.104 --> 00:31:04.868
And listen, everybody has tough times.

00:31:04.868 --> 00:31:06.797
I'm not here to say you know that tough times don't exist.

00:31:06.797 --> 00:31:15.025
They absolutely do, and sometimes it's just about you know, surviving through those tough times to get to a place where you really can thrive.

00:31:15.025 --> 00:31:22.546
Um, and so I just want to say, if anybody out there is really in a surviving like life is hit and just get through it.

00:31:22.546 --> 00:31:38.734
That's where your focus is right now is just getting through it, and then we work on the thriving part I'm finding a potato, or a friend with a sharpie and a potato sometimes I think you know, so that sometimes that's all it takes a little bit of encouragement.

00:31:38.894 --> 00:31:53.537
You're like, oh well, I can do this, I do know what you know anything, because I think that's something that's maybe a lost art, you know, it's like.

00:31:53.537 --> 00:32:02.078
It's like relegated into that pile with thank you cards, like you can tell somebody good job and it's okay, you know it'll be all right and and be genuine or authentic in its delivery.

00:32:02.078 --> 00:32:17.715
And it's such a weird thing to me over the last maybe 20 years to watch, let's say, being social as a medium for communication become digitized and totally fall apart.

00:32:17.715 --> 00:32:40.666
Isn't it weird, like the social psychology that should have, at least in my opinion, just been plug and play, and then you add a keyboard, a mouse and a screen seems like it's totally devalued itself over time.

00:32:40.666 --> 00:32:46.051
Which brings me full circle to the point I wanted to hit on that you just made of literacy.

00:32:46.051 --> 00:32:55.027
Now, in this developed, first world global economy that's engrossed the entire planet, is more than being able to read and write.

00:32:55.027 --> 00:32:59.945
I think those are important and I don't want to trivialize those either.

00:32:59.945 --> 00:33:17.900
But you know, when it comes to doing those things, that was a principle that the farmers and the fishermen and the shopkeepers 700 years ago needed Now.

00:33:17.900 --> 00:33:21.164
I think it's also being able to learn, unlearn and relearn.

00:33:21.164 --> 00:33:47.202
Different concepts and constructs of what we're already familiar with individually can be applied to some of these other things, like you talked about with money, where initially you were talking about spirituality, basically like self-actualization, and the exact same things apply to finance and then relationships and communication, but it's all based on the same underpinning and infrastructure, which is super cool.

00:33:47.202 --> 00:33:49.425
So I just wanted to hit that real quick.

00:33:50.626 --> 00:33:52.689
And then the point about utilization that you made.

00:33:52.689 --> 00:33:58.097
I learned this a few years ago I'm 37 now.

00:33:58.097 --> 00:34:08.742
The words utilization rate as it applies to a credit card, and I could never I guess I never even thought about it, but I could never figure out why.

00:34:08.742 --> 00:34:10.248
It wasn't just the rate that you're using.

00:34:10.248 --> 00:34:12.737
You know the speed at which you're using the credit.

00:34:12.737 --> 00:34:16.003
Why is it a utilization rate?

00:34:16.043 --> 00:34:22.876
Because I thought utilization at least my creative writing teacher said it's when you use something in a way other than what it was initially intended.

00:34:22.876 --> 00:34:27.182
And I said, well, but this is what it was intended for, but it's not.

00:34:27.182 --> 00:34:30.690
And I'm telling you this I learned 34, 35 years old.

00:34:30.690 --> 00:34:46.257
Utilization rate is when you use somebody else's money to your benefit, not to your detriment, because that's what it's intended for to put you in debt, not to put you in a point of affluence, and so you know the balance compared to the total offer being the utilization rate.

00:34:46.257 --> 00:35:03.652
But everything that you just said to me should be in a junior high course, should be in a coffee table reader, should be in a I don't know any conversation, as it fits in the theme and it's not.

00:35:03.652 --> 00:35:04.681
So why not?

00:35:04.681 --> 00:35:05.414
It's in the theme and it's not.

00:35:08.449 --> 00:35:08.951
So why not?

00:35:08.951 --> 00:35:15.364
You know, I actually disagree with that because I number one.

00:35:15.364 --> 00:35:16.894
I don't want somebody else teaching my kids their financial values.

00:35:16.894 --> 00:35:18.217
I want to be able.

00:35:18.217 --> 00:35:20.806
I think it's us as parents to be able to teach our kids.

00:35:20.806 --> 00:35:26.228
I think it's our job to teach our kids our own financial values.

00:35:26.228 --> 00:35:28.396
I don't.

00:35:28.396 --> 00:35:32.746
I think there are some basic principles that could be taught, but I don't know.

00:35:32.786 --> 00:35:41.186
Josh, if you remember your high school years it has been a minute since I was in high school but I will tell you, was I that interested in money at that time?

00:35:41.186 --> 00:35:44.840
No, if it were taught, would I have?

00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:50.922
Would I have taken in the information that I really needed in the next, you know, five or 10 years of my life?

00:35:50.922 --> 00:35:52.445
Probably not.

00:35:52.445 --> 00:36:02.836
I don't think that the absorption rate of that information, what we think right, what we think it should be, is that let's teach it, you know, to high schoolers.

00:36:02.836 --> 00:36:04.501
When they get out, they're going to have this information.

00:36:04.501 --> 00:36:05.965
They can take it and they run with it.

00:36:05.965 --> 00:36:07.976
But I'll be honest, I don't.

00:36:07.976 --> 00:36:11.405
I mean, I know two plus two, but, dang, I got a calculator now.

00:36:11.405 --> 00:36:20.106
So what I learned in high school, I don't necessarily need to use those same skills the way that they apply now, because there's a lot of tools that will do that for me, right?

00:36:20.106 --> 00:36:30.978
I think that I didn't absorb a lot of that then because it wasn't important to me then.

00:36:30.978 --> 00:36:32.099
I didn't see the relevance in my life at that point.

00:36:32.099 --> 00:36:36.648
So I don't think that that's an area that maybe we need to be teaching quite honestly in high school.

00:36:38.934 --> 00:36:39.856
I really think that that's us as parents.

00:36:39.856 --> 00:36:43.447
I think it's our job to be teaching our kids a lot of these skills.

00:36:43.447 --> 00:36:49.340
I don't want to get into the whole teaching profession, but honestly I think too much is put on teachers.

00:36:49.340 --> 00:36:56.347
I think we expect too much out of teachers and really it's our job as parents to be teaching our kids the things that we want them to learn.

00:36:56.347 --> 00:37:00.362
That's a whole rabbit hole that I don't need to go in.

00:37:00.362 --> 00:37:01.806
That's all I will say there.

00:37:01.985 --> 00:37:08.909
But I think literacy, I think it is out there, but it's so overwhelming.

00:37:08.909 --> 00:37:17.425
The number one thing that people come to me when they say is Sarah, I Googled it or I looked up or I downloaded this form, but it didn't really explain it to me.

00:37:17.425 --> 00:37:27.686
There's so much I don't know where to start because, as you said, we're now, we're more connected than ever before we have access to any type of information we can ever want right now.

00:37:27.686 --> 00:37:30.463
But the options it's too much.

00:37:30.463 --> 00:37:34.364
Our brains literally cannot handle that many options.

00:37:34.364 --> 00:37:35.679
We don't know where to start.

00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:36.543
It is overwhelming.

00:37:36.543 --> 00:37:37.478
You talk to one person.

00:37:37.478 --> 00:37:38.521
They're going to tell you to do this.

00:37:38.521 --> 00:37:41.422
You Google something else, you click on another link and guess what?

00:37:41.422 --> 00:37:43.362
They're going to tell you to do the exact opposite.

00:37:53.179 --> 00:37:54.887
And you're left in the exact same situation of non-action.

00:37:54.887 --> 00:37:56.295
Right, because we're like I don't know what's the right path for me.

00:37:56.295 --> 00:37:59.882
Yeah, so I think the information is out there, but I think it's actually too much and this is what I encourage people to do.

00:37:59.882 --> 00:38:01.949
Then pick a couple of people that you just resonate with.

00:38:01.949 --> 00:38:04.320
Go out, read a couple of books.

00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:10.235
If something really resonates with you, if you really like what that person is saying, then start to follow them and really start to follow.

00:38:10.235 --> 00:38:14.764
You know their plan, social media.

00:38:14.764 --> 00:38:21.775
Pick a couple of people, watch a couple of videos that you're like dang, you know what he's really speaking my language, like whatever it is that he said.

00:38:21.775 --> 00:38:27.824
It just hit and that's the person that I want to kind of you know, follow and gain a little bit of information from.

00:38:27.824 --> 00:38:30.108
Narrow your search down.

00:38:30.108 --> 00:38:32.998
Don't look for the person that's making the most money.

00:38:32.998 --> 00:38:35.625
Don't look for the person that's going to promise you the most.

00:38:35.625 --> 00:38:38.664
Look for the person that you actually resonate with.

00:38:38.664 --> 00:38:43.722
It says some things that speak to you that you're like you know what, I want to hear more.

00:38:43.722 --> 00:38:46.027
Where's their next video?

00:38:46.027 --> 00:38:47.822
What's the next post that they're making?

00:38:47.822 --> 00:38:52.666
And then start to kind of take steps that direction.

00:38:52.666 --> 00:38:54.440
Narrow it down a little bit.

00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:56.041
Give yourself a little bit of grace.

00:38:56.041 --> 00:39:03.164
You're not going to learn all of this at once, right, but narrow your search down a little bit, right.

00:39:04.094 --> 00:39:10.317
And I just want to go back to teaching the kids, because my kids are in their early twenties.

00:39:10.317 --> 00:39:11.259
My son's 25.

00:39:11.259 --> 00:39:15.146
My daughter is 23, 22.

00:39:15.146 --> 00:39:17.577
I have to think for a second my daughter's 22.

00:39:17.577 --> 00:39:24.838
For much of their life I did not do a fabulous job of teaching them good financial skills.

00:39:24.838 --> 00:39:28.539
In fact, it was the complete opposite Taught them really well.

00:39:28.539 --> 00:39:31.005
You know you want to learn scarcity mindset.

00:39:31.005 --> 00:39:34.855
I was the queen at teaching them how to live in scarcity, right.

00:39:34.855 --> 00:39:45.501
If you want to talk about somebody who didn't talk about investing your dollars and spending on, you know, ways that brought value to your life, I was the queen at showing you the exact opposite how to do that.

00:39:45.501 --> 00:39:51.376
And my kids now into their early twenties.

00:39:51.376 --> 00:39:52.639
I see a lot of those skills right that they learned from me.

00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:56.387
Now they are using in their own life, and this goes full circle.

00:39:56.427 --> 00:39:58.980
What I said even in the very beginning is that it's not too late.

00:39:58.980 --> 00:40:05.681
So now I'm taking the opportunity to go back to my kids and have different conversations and say you know what.

00:40:05.681 --> 00:40:09.668
I know that this happened a lot when you were little, but here's what I've learned since then.

00:40:09.668 --> 00:40:12.141
Here's some ways that maybe we can.

00:40:12.141 --> 00:40:16.655
You know that you can change the situation that you're in right now.

00:40:16.655 --> 00:40:22.518
Here's what you might look at doing so you don't feel like you're living paycheck to paycheck right now.

00:40:22.518 --> 00:40:25.407
Right, here's what we're doing.

00:40:26.309 --> 00:40:30.400
Having open conversations with my kids bridges some of those gaps.

00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:35.119
You're not going to change it overnight, but you can start to plant seeds.

00:40:35.119 --> 00:40:45.503
You can start to show them how you're making changes and the results of those changes, and then show them how they can make the changes in their own life.

00:40:45.503 --> 00:41:05.304
So I screwed up for many years when it comes to money and my kids, but now I get to go back and have different conversations with them, right, so now, going forward for them, they get to say, okay, mom's doing it a little bit differently, maybe I can do things a little bit differently and we're starting to break those generational traumas.

00:41:05.304 --> 00:41:06.355